Well a few weeks back my wife and I were at a Speedway, and an old grade school friend was there. Greg noticed me, and said hi. Well as per my ususal self, I said hi back, introduced my wife, and he explained how we knew each other. After a few pleasentries, I said we had to go and it was really nice to see him again. When we were driving away, my wife asked me why I never mentioned him before. I told her because Greg was a good guy, and during my high school era, I wanted a "cool world," and Greg was anything but cool. He was a bonafide dork/geek. You see the grade school we attended was a private catholic school. I basically went to school with the same 25 or so kids for 8 years. We were all in the same class, so we attended all the same classes. From 9:00 AM till 3:30 PM, the same kids and the same classes for 8 years. Yeah there were the cool kids and the dorks, but for some reason we all got along pretty well. The cliques came into play in the 7th and 8th years, but before that, well it was for the most part a pretty level playing field. Well, than I was thrown into a world I never new. I went to a public school for the second time in my life...but I guess kindergarten doesn't really count. I was floored by the different people. I was floored by the multitude of people. I just left a school where all were basically equal, and I realized something for the for first time. I was a dork. I was the geek. I was the nerd. And unlike now, where I let my freak flag fly, back then I didn't. I was going to do anything it took to be in a cool circle. Yet oddly enough, I still surrounded myself with the freaks, geeks and nerds. It took me 4 years to realize the only person I had to be was myself so in my 5th year I was just that. But before that...well I was whatever you wanted me to be. Was I a class clown? Yup. Was I a smart ass? Absolutely. Was I smart? Yeah, but I never let it show...ever. Well Greg was different than me. He was never ashamed of what he was. Yes he was a comic geek, and even brought them to school. Was he smart? Absolutely! But he worked hard at it. He wasn't ashamed to be himself, unlike me. Again I wanted it all...and in the end? Well I made a few good friends, and I made one best friend (even though we don't talk or hang out as much as we used to) he still remains an anchor in my world. SO yeah, I sorta got what I wanted. I had a lot of people to hang with. I was pretty much allowed in most circles. But...Greg who was always just himself, had made some very strong friendships (I had the privelage to be reminded of that by his best friend), and works with "special" kids. So this geek, has made a pretty wonderful thing out of his life, simply by being himself. Me on the other hand, is starting to make a life. I started at ground level, when I met the woman who I fell in love with, and less than a year later would be my girlfriend, and a year after that would become my wife. I'm finally starting to be myself...for better or worse. What can I say I was a late bloomer. But I wouldn't change it for anything. Rascal Flatts has a song with the most perfect lyrics to end this entry with...
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
So there ya have it. The fact that I dwell on things way too much. So yeah life goes on. The next song starts when it starts. You can't unturn a page, and you can't change the past. But you can learn from it, and with my past I'm doing a lot of learning.
9/08/2006
9/05/2006
CAN'T SLEEP
Well it's 3:47 AM. I have watched part of 3 shows on showtime. My wife and I had some alone time, and we both fell asleep. Less than an hour later I woke up. I have been up for two hours and 17 minutes. I really want to sleep, but as of now the sandman eludes my cries for help. Just wanted to share. This song is....
8/15/2006
IT'S BEEN A BIT LONGER THAN ORIGINALLY PLANNED
Well hello and what the hell have you all been up too?? I've been one busy lil man...and as I look at the pooh belly..realizing that has to be one of the more IRONIC statements I have made today. But again..sorry. We're in the process of moving, meaning my wife, our cats and big ole me. And now we gots the porn-net...oops I mean the internet again : ) Well my life is still boring. I still work in the same place I hate. I am still madly in love with my wife. AND...I got's a whole lotta things to talk about. sadly not tonight. I rented some movies, and am dying to see them. So, I'll be here later today to get all political, social, religious and as usual just make one total and complete ass of myself. As my wife says, "You gotta go with your strong points." So talk to you all in just a bit.
IT'S BEEN FUN
Hello hi and what the hell iz all you been up too?? Well to make this short and sweet, like a Hershey's kiss. I'm done. It's been fun. I am done. I stopped writing on here because some people were taking the things I was talking about and making sure that their comments to me in e-mails and blogs hurt the people in my life. So I'm done. Thank you for joining me on long and tumultuous road to happiness. I'm done. The song is over. The house lights are on. The band is packing up. Andwedanced. And we sang and one day soon, I'll be back...just not here.
Well my life is still boring. I still work in the same place I hate. I am still madly in love with my wife. AND...I got's a whole lotta things to talk about. sadly not tonight. I rented some movies, and am dying to see them. So, later today to get all political, social, religious and as usual just make one total and complete ass of myself. Just not here. As my wife says, "You gotta go with your strong points."
So again thank you, but I'm packing up the vestments, putting away the wine, and as of now...the confessional is closed. I will continue to dance elsewhere, when I feel the need to, but right now....
Jose
Well my life is still boring. I still work in the same place I hate. I am still madly in love with my wife. AND...I got's a whole lotta things to talk about. sadly not tonight. I rented some movies, and am dying to see them. So, later today to get all political, social, religious and as usual just make one total and complete ass of myself. Just not here. As my wife says, "You gotta go with your strong points."
So again thank you, but I'm packing up the vestments, putting away the wine, and as of now...the confessional is closed. I will continue to dance elsewhere, when I feel the need to, but right now....
Jose
7/13/2006
NEW PHRASES
Serving up some swamp-nut soup.
Taking yourself to the malt shop.
Firing the one-gun salute.
Sending a he-mail.
Frisking Chairman Mao.
Whisking the egg whites.
Buffing the stork.
Tapping the yogurt keg.
Expressing your monosexuality.
Cleaning the fireman's hat.
Playing a little five-on-one.
Evicting the stubborn tenant.
Gerrymandering the sticky district.
Frosting the undercooked cannoli.
Clubbing the baby seal.
Fluffing the pregnancy pillow.
Talking down the chubby jumper.
Mugging the two-inch tourist.
Overthrowing the tiny tyrant.
Indian wrestling Sacagaweiner.
Beheading the hairy hostages.
Choking up on the Louisville.
Liberating the milky Muslim.
Rolling the burrito.
Raising interest rates a quarter-inch.
Handcuffing the fugitive.
Paying at the pump.
Gutting the trouser trout.
Swinging the chubby truncheon.
Taxing the poor.
Deveining the shriveled shellfish.
Extracting the gooey platoon.
Emptying the spit valve.
Reeling in the hammerhead.
Chopping down the cherry tree.
Pulling weeds in the Garden of Breedin'.
Jousting Sir Galahand.
Reheating last night's leftovers.
Dusting off the drunken dwarf.
Milking the flaccid cow.
Raiding Fort Hood.
Snapping the Slim Jim.
Gladhanding the power base.
Taking yourself to the malt shop.
Firing the one-gun salute.
Sending a he-mail.
Frisking Chairman Mao.
Whisking the egg whites.
Buffing the stork.
Tapping the yogurt keg.
Expressing your monosexuality.
Cleaning the fireman's hat.
Playing a little five-on-one.
Evicting the stubborn tenant.
Gerrymandering the sticky district.
Frosting the undercooked cannoli.
Clubbing the baby seal.
Fluffing the pregnancy pillow.
Talking down the chubby jumper.
Mugging the two-inch tourist.
Overthrowing the tiny tyrant.
Indian wrestling Sacagaweiner.
Beheading the hairy hostages.
Choking up on the Louisville.
Liberating the milky Muslim.
Rolling the burrito.
Raising interest rates a quarter-inch.
Handcuffing the fugitive.
Paying at the pump.
Gutting the trouser trout.
Swinging the chubby truncheon.
Taxing the poor.
Deveining the shriveled shellfish.
Extracting the gooey platoon.
Emptying the spit valve.
Reeling in the hammerhead.
Chopping down the cherry tree.
Pulling weeds in the Garden of Breedin'.
Jousting Sir Galahand.
Reheating last night's leftovers.
Dusting off the drunken dwarf.
Milking the flaccid cow.
Raiding Fort Hood.
Snapping the Slim Jim.
Gladhanding the power base.
7/04/2006
SUMMERFEST
My wife had her first Summerfest experience ysterday. We both also had our first Summerfest sunburn experience too. We saw a few local guys just tearing up the stage and a few that we thought were ok. We saw a band called "The Raid" which did 80's hair band music. They were also guys my age...and even my build. But they were having fun and it so showed in their music. Now to try and figure out when they play again, because of course no website. But we also saw a band called Sunspot and they ruled. They impressed us enough to buy 2 of their CD's. There really weren't any major acts we wanted to see, so we left. We went swimmimg for about an hour than came home. Happy 4th o' July.
7/02/2006
To Be 6 and 34 years old...again...for the first time...up up and away
Over the weekend, I aw Superman Returns. I was floored. I was astonished. I was amazed. I felt 6 years old again. I felt 34. It was like watching a movie that embraced the past and at the same time forged a new path for the future. It was'nt what I ecpected...but by god it was what that franchise needed. So go out and see the movie.
6/27/2006
HE'S GONE COUNTRY
An amazing thing has happened in the last 2 years. I Jose being of rock'n'roll soul and glam band rythym, has accepted a new music into my life. Well ok that's not completely true. I always had a respect for country, until my stepdad (who at the time that was all he listened too) forced it down my rock'n'roll pallette. Needless to say I rebelled against the twang and hillbilly thang, like the colonies to England. Until I was 19-20 that is. Than this little Oklahoma boy started to hit it HUGE. Some may know him as Garth Brooks. Than all of a sudden I, of all people, started listening to some country. It was about 75% rock 15% orchestral and 10% country. Now 14-15 years later...it's about 80% country 10% rock and 10% everything else. So what happened? Well the glam stuff I was listening too, was all about having fun, partying, falling in love and heart aches. Well that's what country has always been about. Well my era of music simply stopped. Sure there are still a few of my Glam metal brethern still out there making the music, but I'm not the angry rebel without a clue I was back then. I still play a little Crue, Poison, Warrant, and Skid Row, but it doesn't speak about me anymore. I'm not the same kid I was. I'm an adult now...for better or worse, and country speaks to me as the man I am now. There's still music about having fun, partying, falling in love and heart aches. But there's also music about hopes, dreams and the future. Which is something I do look forward too.
BUGS
I hate bugs. I really do. Not as much as snakes scare the ever loving bejesus out of me, but I simply hate bugs. Some just annoy me, but mostly...yeah I hate bugs. Well on Sunday, there was a tick on my leg. Not the buried in my skin, but in the crawling looking for a place to dig in type. Now it's Tuesday and I still have the creepy crawlies. Yes that was my first "experience" with a tick, and I'm praying to all things holy that it will be my last.
A REUNION WEEKEND
This weekend my wife had a "reunion" thng. She and all her inner circle friends got together up in Hazelhurst. This is one of those been friends since grade school things. The things where you hear some new stories and old ones are repeated. Where some of them can be themselves, and just let loose, wile others had to be civilized because they were there with someone who they didn't want to be with. It's one of those things where even the rain couldn't dampen the spirits. It's an event where the kids are allowed to run, scream and laugh. A time when the girls can run, scream and laugh. An event where you don't know how tired you are until everyone leaves. It was all in all a very good time and I know this because my wife was exhausted by the time we got home. And we're doing it again in November. Well we won't have to worry about rain then. Just snow. You know...I'd rather have the rain
6/23/2006
LIFE IMITATES SONG
Summertime is finally here
That old ballpark, man, is back in gear
Out on 49
Man I can see the lights
School's out and the nights roll in
Man, just like a long lost friend
You ain't seen in a while
And can't help but smile
And it's two bare feet on the dancefloor
Young love and an old Ford
Cheap shirt and a tattoo
And a Yoo-Hoo bottle on the floorboards
Her favorit song on the radio
Sing along 'cause it's one we know
It's a smile, it's a kiss
It's a sip of wine, it's summertime
Sweet summertime
Temperature says 93
Down at the Deposit Guaranty
But that swimmin' hole
It's nice and cold
Bikini bottoms underneath
But the boys' hearts still skip a beat
When them girls shimmy off
Them old cutoffs
And it's two bare feet on the dancefloor
Young love and an old Ford
Cheap shirt and a tattoo
And a Yoo-Hoo bottle on the floorboards
Her favorite song on the radio
Sing along 'cause it's one we know
It's a smile, it's a kiss
It's a sip of wine, it's summertime
Sweet summertime
The more things change
The more they stay the same
Don't matter how old you are
When you know what I'm talkin' 'bout
Yeah baby when you got
Two bare feet on the dancefloor
Young love and an old Ford
Cheap shirt and a tattoo
And a Yoo-Hoo bottle rollin' on the floorboards
Her favorite song on the radio
Sing along 'cause it's one we know
It's a smile, it's a kiss
It's a sip of wine, it's summertime
Sweet summertime
Now ironically whenever I hear this song all I can picture is my wife taking off her shoes and putting "two bare feet on the DASHBOARD," because one day she's singing along to the radio. Than this song starts, and she's scrambling like an grand mal seizure had a line or two of the nose candy, trying to get them shoes off so she can put "two bare feet on the DASHBOARD", and "singing along cuz it's one we know." Just thought I'd share that lil song and dance number for ya. Have a good weekend. The Jukebox will be down for the weekend, tune in on Monday for the next dance
That old ballpark, man, is back in gear
Out on 49
Man I can see the lights
School's out and the nights roll in
Man, just like a long lost friend
You ain't seen in a while
And can't help but smile
And it's two bare feet on the dancefloor
Young love and an old Ford
Cheap shirt and a tattoo
And a Yoo-Hoo bottle on the floorboards
Her favorit song on the radio
Sing along 'cause it's one we know
It's a smile, it's a kiss
It's a sip of wine, it's summertime
Sweet summertime
Temperature says 93
Down at the Deposit Guaranty
But that swimmin' hole
It's nice and cold
Bikini bottoms underneath
But the boys' hearts still skip a beat
When them girls shimmy off
Them old cutoffs
And it's two bare feet on the dancefloor
Young love and an old Ford
Cheap shirt and a tattoo
And a Yoo-Hoo bottle on the floorboards
Her favorite song on the radio
Sing along 'cause it's one we know
It's a smile, it's a kiss
It's a sip of wine, it's summertime
Sweet summertime
The more things change
The more they stay the same
Don't matter how old you are
When you know what I'm talkin' 'bout
Yeah baby when you got
Two bare feet on the dancefloor
Young love and an old Ford
Cheap shirt and a tattoo
And a Yoo-Hoo bottle rollin' on the floorboards
Her favorite song on the radio
Sing along 'cause it's one we know
It's a smile, it's a kiss
It's a sip of wine, it's summertime
Sweet summertime
Now ironically whenever I hear this song all I can picture is my wife taking off her shoes and putting "two bare feet on the DASHBOARD," because one day she's singing along to the radio. Than this song starts, and she's scrambling like an grand mal seizure had a line or two of the nose candy, trying to get them shoes off so she can put "two bare feet on the DASHBOARD", and "singing along cuz it's one we know." Just thought I'd share that lil song and dance number for ya. Have a good weekend. The Jukebox will be down for the weekend, tune in on Monday for the next dance
6/20/2006
TRUST v 1.2
Trust is such a wondrous and powerful word. It builds friendships, relationships, love and reinforces each and every one of those feelings. It's the yard stick we use to measure how much we'll let people affect us and how far we are willing to affect them (or at least try to). It guides us in everyday situations and those "once in a moment" opportunities that end up shaping who we are and who we will be.
Like I said, it's a very powerful and wondrous word.
But trust broken, is as devastating as a blow to the head with a lead pipe. It affects how we deal with people and situations and how those situations affect and deal with us. It affects relationships, families, friends and your inner self. Mistrust is actually a lot more destructive than a loaded gun, with longer lasting results.
If you shoot the gun right, it may never hurt at all and even if you don't that scar will eventually heal.
Mistrust is not so easy to comeback from.
I know this from past and present experience.
Everyday is a step forward, and everyday is a step back.
But in my case, I gotta keep moving.
That's the truth.
Keep walking, keep moving, because anything is better than just giving up.
That's my dedication for the day.
Thanks for listening.
Like I said, it's a very powerful and wondrous word.
But trust broken, is as devastating as a blow to the head with a lead pipe. It affects how we deal with people and situations and how those situations affect and deal with us. It affects relationships, families, friends and your inner self. Mistrust is actually a lot more destructive than a loaded gun, with longer lasting results.
If you shoot the gun right, it may never hurt at all and even if you don't that scar will eventually heal.
Mistrust is not so easy to comeback from.
I know this from past and present experience.
Everyday is a step forward, and everyday is a step back.
But in my case, I gotta keep moving.
That's the truth.
Keep walking, keep moving, because anything is better than just giving up.
That's my dedication for the day.
Thanks for listening.
6/17/2006
Review of Superman Returns
GREAT CEASARS GHOST!!!!!!!!!!! Yes this is a book based on the movie. Yes I ruined the movie for myself. No I don't care. Why??? Because those who might not know...they are not reinventing the wheel this time. They are starting where the first 2 movies left off. DID YOU HEAR ME??? It's taking everything that worked, and running with it. It rules, it's fun, and by all that is holy, it has been the best book I have read in a while, only because the 5 year old in me feels the "AWE" again. Read it...see it...NOW!!!
6/16/2006
If I Know Me - George Strait
We both said some things I know we never meant,
And when I slammed the door tonight you wondered where I went.
If I know you, you're probably wonderin' what to do.
You're thinkin' that I'm gone for good, if I know you.
But if I know me, I'll turn this car around.
I won't get halfway through town, and I'll be sorry.
I'll stop and call, and you'll say you're sorry too,
And I'll come runnin' back to you, if I know me.
Sometimes I lose my head, say things to break your heart,
Forgettin' if I lost your love, it would tear my world apart.
If I know you, you didn't mean one single thing you said.
Truth be known, you're dyin', cryin', lyin' there in bed.
But if I know me, I'll turn this car around.
I won't get halfway through town, and I'll be sorry.
I'll stop and call, and you'll say you're sorry too,
And I'll come runnin' back to you, if I know me.
If I know me, and I know me.
And when I slammed the door tonight you wondered where I went.
If I know you, you're probably wonderin' what to do.
You're thinkin' that I'm gone for good, if I know you.
But if I know me, I'll turn this car around.
I won't get halfway through town, and I'll be sorry.
I'll stop and call, and you'll say you're sorry too,
And I'll come runnin' back to you, if I know me.
Sometimes I lose my head, say things to break your heart,
Forgettin' if I lost your love, it would tear my world apart.
If I know you, you didn't mean one single thing you said.
Truth be known, you're dyin', cryin', lyin' there in bed.
But if I know me, I'll turn this car around.
I won't get halfway through town, and I'll be sorry.
I'll stop and call, and you'll say you're sorry too,
And I'll come runnin' back to you, if I know me.
If I know me, and I know me.
6/15/2006
YEAH, THAT PRETTY MUCH SAYS IT ALL
You know, how strange it is to be with someone, where the main desire is to be with them all the time and there is never enough of it. I married my wife, I wear a ring on my finger, I carry her love in my heart and soul. When I get home from work she's sleeping so I lay down with her and feel her skin against mine, I hear her breathing and we share something special between us. I spend all weekend with her, shopping, cleaning, fighting, crying, laughing, doing chores, running errands and doing things two people in love do. But it never feels like it's enough. We get a 2-4 hours a night to lay with each other. The weekend is never long enough. Is it so wrong to want to be with the one you love more than a few hours a day? Is it wrong to hate a phone because that's the only way you can communicate on a daily basis, because you work conflicting shifts? Is it wrong to hate a Monday morning because you know when you wake up you'll wake up in an empty bed and the first thing you do is grab the pillow she uses because it still smells like her? Is it wrong to simply want more time? Is it wrong to want more in general? All I do know is that whether it's right or wrong, wanting sure is lonely.
Today the music is unfortunately silence...
Today the music is unfortunately silence...
6/09/2006
SOME ANSWERS
My wife reads this blog and last evening she was very concerned about how dealing with my step-dad this weekend will affect me. It seems kind of funny to me. Not the "ha-ha" funny but the ironic funny. You see as long as step-dad isn't drinking he's not that bad of a guy. Sure like any family member you have good days and bad days. Some days everything is gold. Other days, I can't wait for lunch to be done with so that my wife and I can go and deal with the carnal itch that seems to overtake us once in a while, and the fact that he's being annoying just gives us a better excuse to end breakfast/lunch/dinner that much sooner. But add alcohol and SHAZAM instant Prickenstien. The guy who I spend time with now isn't the same man, and as long as he stays sober it will never be an issue. But the second I hear or see that he has had a drink, I'm gone. POOF!! No more step-son, because I won't tolerate that anymore, and no more step-dad, because I don't need that other asshole in my life. My life has been one hell of a rollercoaster ride as it is, and I won't ride that particular rollercoaster EVER again. Time to change the CD, this song is done....for now.
6/08/2006
SNORING
Some retired deputy sheriffs went to a retreat in the mountains. To save money, they decided to sleep two to a room. No one wanted to room with Daryl because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.
The first deputy slept with Daryl and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. They said, "Man, what happened to you?" He said, "Daryl snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night."
The next night it was a different deputy's turn. In the morning, same thing--hair all standing up, eyes all blood-shot. They said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful!" He said, "Man, that Daryl shakes the roof. I watched him all night."
The third night was Frank's turn. Frank was a big burly ex-football player; a man's man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright eyed and bushy tailed. "Good morning." They couldn't believe it! They said, "Man, what happened?"
He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Daryl into bed and kissed him good night. He sat up and watched me all night long."
The first deputy slept with Daryl and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. They said, "Man, what happened to you?" He said, "Daryl snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night."
The next night it was a different deputy's turn. In the morning, same thing--hair all standing up, eyes all blood-shot. They said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful!" He said, "Man, that Daryl shakes the roof. I watched him all night."
The third night was Frank's turn. Frank was a big burly ex-football player; a man's man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright eyed and bushy tailed. "Good morning." They couldn't believe it! They said, "Man, what happened?"
He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Daryl into bed and kissed him good night. He sat up and watched me all night long."
STRANGE QUOTES
"Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats." Howard Aiken
"Life is moderately good play with a badly written third act." Truman Capote
"He who stops being better stops being good." Oliver Cromwell
"Everyone gets their rough day. No one gets a free ride. Today so far, I had a good day. I got a dial tone." Rodney Dangerfield
"Crime is the soul of lust. What would pleasure be if it were not accompanied by crime? It is not the object of debauchery that excites us, rather the idea of evil." Marquis de Sade
"Good management is the art of making problems so interesting and their solutions so constructive that everyone wants to get to work and deal with them." Paul Hawken
"Life is moderately good play with a badly written third act." Truman Capote
"He who stops being better stops being good." Oliver Cromwell
"Everyone gets their rough day. No one gets a free ride. Today so far, I had a good day. I got a dial tone." Rodney Dangerfield
"Crime is the soul of lust. What would pleasure be if it were not accompanied by crime? It is not the object of debauchery that excites us, rather the idea of evil." Marquis de Sade
"Good management is the art of making problems so interesting and their solutions so constructive that everyone wants to get to work and deal with them." Paul Hawken
6/06/2006
IT'S OVER ALREADY
You know, The whole 06-06-06 thing is just getting out of hand. Let it go...it happens every hundred years. I mean this happens less times than George W. Bush making sense. It's come and gone. Move on people.
A HONEYMOON...SORTA
My wife and I finally got to go on our honeymoon...sorta. We were given a cabin, up north for the weekend, for this special event. Well as life were to have it, things change. You see, my mother-in-law is going in for surgery at the end of the month, and she has a lot things to do to prepare for this. She's scared and very anxious about this. So we took 2 days to talk over some things she wanted done, and we took care of some of them already. Well the resort we stayed at is run by one of my wife's best friends, so we spent time with her family as we all caught up with the current events of each others lives. We didn't have much time to ourselves, but in the end, that was just perfect. Our honeymoon turned into a vacation, which after we talked about it, was what we needed more. We have the rest our lives to get away for romantic weekends and nights of debauchery, but how often do we get time to spend with the "families" that enrich and bless our lives? Sure it wasn't what we planned, but it was exactly what we needed. To get back in touch with what's important in our lives. Sometimes we're not in control of anything, and sometimes the road we're on takes us to a different place but that sure doesn't mean you can't love every minute of it. And we did love evry minute of it.
6/01/2006
A SONG TO MAKE ME REALIZE WHAT I HAVE...EVEN MORE
Car door slams, it's been a long day at work
I'm out on the freeway and I'm wondering if it's all worth
The price that I pay, sometimes it doesn't seem fair
I pull into the drive and you're standing there
And you look at me
And give me that come-here-baby smile
It's all gonna be alright
You take my hand
You pull me close and you hold me tight
[Chorus:]It's the sweet love that you give to me
That makes me believe we can make it through anything
'Cause when it all comes down
And I'm feeling like I'll never last
I just lean on you 'cause baby
You're my better half
They say behind every man is a good woman
But I think that's a lie
'Cause when it comes to you I'd rather have you by my side
You don't know how much I count you to help me
When I've given everything I got and I just feel like giving in
And you look at me
And give me that come-here-baby smile
It's all gonna be alright
You take my hand
Yeah you pull me close and you hold me tight
[REPEAT CHORUS]
Well, you take my hand
Yeah you pull me close and I understand
It's the sweet love that you give to me
That makes me believe that we can make it through anything
Oh baby, it's the sweet love that you give to me
That makes me believe we can make it through anything
'Cause when it all comes down
And I'm feeling like I'll never last
I just lean on you 'cause baby You're my better half
Oh, oh baby you're my better half
Ooh, hey baby you're my better half
I'm out on the freeway and I'm wondering if it's all worth
The price that I pay, sometimes it doesn't seem fair
I pull into the drive and you're standing there
And you look at me
And give me that come-here-baby smile
It's all gonna be alright
You take my hand
You pull me close and you hold me tight
[Chorus:]It's the sweet love that you give to me
That makes me believe we can make it through anything
'Cause when it all comes down
And I'm feeling like I'll never last
I just lean on you 'cause baby
You're my better half
They say behind every man is a good woman
But I think that's a lie
'Cause when it comes to you I'd rather have you by my side
You don't know how much I count you to help me
When I've given everything I got and I just feel like giving in
And you look at me
And give me that come-here-baby smile
It's all gonna be alright
You take my hand
Yeah you pull me close and you hold me tight
[REPEAT CHORUS]
Well, you take my hand
Yeah you pull me close and I understand
It's the sweet love that you give to me
That makes me believe that we can make it through anything
Oh baby, it's the sweet love that you give to me
That makes me believe we can make it through anything
'Cause when it all comes down
And I'm feeling like I'll never last
I just lean on you 'cause baby You're my better half
Oh, oh baby you're my better half
Ooh, hey baby you're my better half
SUMMERSONG
I used to hate summer. The heat and humidity, sweating and smelling like you ran a mile but you only walked a few feet. But my world changed 401 days ago. I moved in with the girl who is now my wife, and I actualy look forward to summer now. Actually it's closer to a year before that but I'll talk about that some other time. Anyway, now when I think about summer I remember the times we've shared together. The walks, staying up late talking and doing other things. I remember the beginning of my new and current life. I remember the things we've shared together for the first time, and many times since than. I remember the lakes, the talks all the happy times. And, I look forward to all the summers we'll share together, along with the summers, we've already shared. This is our lives, and welcome to the show. OK. The song is done. Good night for now.
SHHH SHE'S SLEEPING
On Tuesday, my wife and I had a fight. It's nothing new, and no not in a bad way. We fight because we're both two very stubborn and independent people. Our lives before "us" made us that way. Now we try to unlearn all that history and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I used to truly enjoy an argument, because I'm very good at winning them, but for the first time in my life, I HATE arguing with someone, meaning my wife. But if you ask her...she' never argued before with her significant others, because she said If they leave they leave. But here we are, I hate fighting with her because she is my world, and she argues with me because I am hers. But that's the natural progression and growth of a husband and wife. So yeah we fight, and than we talk. Than we move on.
So we talked on the phone today and we made "intimate" plans...but she's sleeping. I've tried to wake up many people in my life, and oh my god, she's the hardest to wake up. I know she would say the same thing about me...because she has. So I tried to wake her for 10 minutes, and it wasn't happening, so I grabbed a beer and my smokes and came here to blog. You know...I guess this is my way of telling my wife, that I'm sorry. I'm sorry we work oppisite shifts. I'm sorry that on one too many occasions I have, and more than likely will be again, acted like an ass. That I do think of her every minute of my day, and I miss her every single moment that we are apart. This weekend we are going on our honemoon....part one that is. We have to do some family/friends obligations, and I know that. But I can tell you right now...I'm going to be one very selfish man, when it comes to sharing my wife this weekend. But since part one takes place just minutes from her home town, well...you know... you gotta do what ya gotta do. But when we get back to the resort, the door is locked, windows boarded and two very naked people working on creating a family...gotta change CD's cuz this song is done.
So we talked on the phone today and we made "intimate" plans...but she's sleeping. I've tried to wake up many people in my life, and oh my god, she's the hardest to wake up. I know she would say the same thing about me...because she has. So I tried to wake her for 10 minutes, and it wasn't happening, so I grabbed a beer and my smokes and came here to blog. You know...I guess this is my way of telling my wife, that I'm sorry. I'm sorry we work oppisite shifts. I'm sorry that on one too many occasions I have, and more than likely will be again, acted like an ass. That I do think of her every minute of my day, and I miss her every single moment that we are apart. This weekend we are going on our honemoon....part one that is. We have to do some family/friends obligations, and I know that. But I can tell you right now...I'm going to be one very selfish man, when it comes to sharing my wife this weekend. But since part one takes place just minutes from her home town, well...you know... you gotta do what ya gotta do. But when we get back to the resort, the door is locked, windows boarded and two very naked people working on creating a family...gotta change CD's cuz this song is done.
5/30/2006
FAMILY PICNICS
Oh good lord, you know those things you do for your parents? Well I only do them for Jeff. You see, he and my mom are getting divorced, and I'm ok with that. They both want what is fair. I'm ok with that. But mom is being a skank about it. Well to cut a lot of drama out (that story is for a future entry) For Jeff I came over and spent the afternoon with the family. I know I have to be the "Good Son" once in a while. I just wish it could be on crappy days, not nice summer days. It was the longest 2.5 hours this weekend. I hate it when you have to pretend to be nice, because I don't pretend to well anymore. I'm getting older and my time is to precious to be dealling with that shite. BUT for Jeff I did. That's life. When you're born, you're born with relatives. You will always have them. But a family you build for yourself. I have a mother, a sister, uncles and cousins and they are my relatives. But my wife and Jeff are my family. The song is over, please wait a moment, the next song will be starting shortly
Review of Maximum Ride: School's Out Forever
OH MY GOD!!! What a great ride!!! It was well worth the wait, and now I'm waiting again for more. The pacing is awesome. The characters kick some flocking ass!!! Sure it's a pretty simple and straight forward plot, but when it's this good, it doesn't need all of the extreme plot twists, and surprise endings. It does have some, but IMO it's just to move the main story. I sacrificed sleep to read this book. It is better than the first book. I laughed out loud and shed some tears. It's, for lack of a better statement, a maximum joy ride that I will read to my children (when I have them) and borrow to adults. Just because it is that good!!!
5/29/2006
TAKE A MOMENT
This is for those who fell, and never stood again,
Those who chose bravery over timidity,
Who chose liberty over constraint,
Who stood for freedom,
Who knew the cost,
Who made that choice,
Who ultimately paid the price,
This is for you,
You are not forgotten.
You are remembered.
In every flag that waves,
With every word voiced,
With every freedom we hold dear,
This is for you.
Thank You,
We miss you,
We remember you,
Always.
Those who chose bravery over timidity,
Who chose liberty over constraint,
Who stood for freedom,
Who knew the cost,
Who made that choice,
Who ultimately paid the price,
This is for you,
You are not forgotten.
You are remembered.
In every flag that waves,
With every word voiced,
With every freedom we hold dear,
This is for you.
Thank You,
We miss you,
We remember you,
Always.
A Moment Of Silence redux
Now those of you that actually know me, know that I'm not a pro-military person. But I do have a respect for those that do choose this way of life. Yes, it is a way of life. It takes someone of a special courage, an unbelievable strength of character and a love for their family, home and friends, to join the military. It takes someone who is afraid but won't and didn't let that stand in his or her way. It takes ultimate sacrifice, for those that laid it all on the line, because whether they lived or died, they're the ones who pay the price of freedom. I may never know all of you, but to you all I do say "thank you"! To the families and friends of these courageous individuals, my prayers are with you. To those who never came home... a moment of silence.
5/24/2006
COMPUTER WOMEN - WHICH TYPE ARE YOU?
Which Type Of Woman Do You Like?
a. HARD-DISK Woman:
She remembers everything you say and do, FOREVER. !!!
b. WINDOWS Woman:
Everyone knows that she can't do anything right, but you can't live without her.
c. EXCEL Woman:
They say she can do a lot of things but you mostly use her for only four of your basic needs.
d. SCREENSAVER Woman:
She is good for nothing functional, but at least she is exciting, colourful, and lots of fun!
e. INTERNET Woman:
Difficult to access and hard to keep running .!!!
f. SERVER Woman:
Claims to be available to you, but Always busy when you need her.
g. MULTIMEDIA Woman:
She has a way of making horrible things look very beautiful.
h. CD-ROM Woman:
She always has you on the move, going faster and faster.!!!
i. E-MAIL Woman:
Out of Every ten things she says, eight are plain nonsense.
j. VIRUS Woman:
Also known as "WIFE"; when you are least expecting her, she shows up, installs herself, and starts gobbling up all your resources. If you try to uninstall her, you will lose almost every thing. If you don't try to uninstall her, you will still have nothing.
a. HARD-DISK Woman:
She remembers everything you say and do, FOREVER. !!!
b. WINDOWS Woman:
Everyone knows that she can't do anything right, but you can't live without her.
c. EXCEL Woman:
They say she can do a lot of things but you mostly use her for only four of your basic needs.
d. SCREENSAVER Woman:
She is good for nothing functional, but at least she is exciting, colourful, and lots of fun!
e. INTERNET Woman:
Difficult to access and hard to keep running .!!!
f. SERVER Woman:
Claims to be available to you, but Always busy when you need her.
g. MULTIMEDIA Woman:
She has a way of making horrible things look very beautiful.
h. CD-ROM Woman:
She always has you on the move, going faster and faster.!!!
i. E-MAIL Woman:
Out of Every ten things she says, eight are plain nonsense.
j. VIRUS Woman:
Also known as "WIFE"; when you are least expecting her, she shows up, installs herself, and starts gobbling up all your resources. If you try to uninstall her, you will lose almost every thing. If you don't try to uninstall her, you will still have nothing.
5/23/2006
EVEN GOD ENJOYS A GOOD LAUGH AND JUST TRYING TO KEEP EVERYONE INFORMED NOW THAT THE DA VINCI CODE IS COMING
There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:
1. He called everyone brother
2. He liked Gospel.
3. He couldn't get a fair trial.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into His Father's business.
2. He lived at home until he was 33.
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with His hands.
2. He had wine with His meals.
3. He used olive oil.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut His hair.
2. He walked around barefoot all the time.
3. He started a new religion.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:
1. He was at peace with nature.
2. He ate a lot of fish.
3. He talked about the Great Spirit.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.
But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:
1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food.
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it.
3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was work to do.
1. He called everyone brother
2. He liked Gospel.
3. He couldn't get a fair trial.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into His Father's business.
2. He lived at home until he was 33.
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with His hands.
2. He had wine with His meals.
3. He used olive oil.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut His hair.
2. He walked around barefoot all the time.
3. He started a new religion.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:
1. He was at peace with nature.
2. He ate a lot of fish.
3. He talked about the Great Spirit.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.
But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:
1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food.
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it.
3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was work to do.
LIFE IS TOUGH. IT'S TOUGHER WHEN YOU'RE STUPID
How do these people survive?
ONE
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets
TWO
I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.
THREE
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."
FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."
FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.
SIX
I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.
SEVEN
My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
EIGHT
Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.
NINE A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the mother says, I just gave him some ant killer ... Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency
ONE
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets
TWO
I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.
THREE
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."
FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."
FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.
SIX
I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.
SEVEN
My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
EIGHT
Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.
NINE A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the mother says, I just gave him some ant killer ... Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency
5/18/2006
Review of Angels & Demons, Special Illustrated Edition
How to review a book that has such a tremendous followup? I know some of you have heard of a little book called the Da Vinci Code right? Well I haven't read it yet, but it is on my to do list. So as I am oft to do, I went back and read a less popular book before going out and reading a "Major worldwide bestseller". Now the ironic thing is that I finished a book called Thieves of Heaven, which takes place in Vatican City (with A LOT of information) to read another book that takes place in...? You you guesed it. The Vatican. This is one of those few occasions where another fiction book sets up a lot of history, so that when you read another fiction book, you have a base knowledge of it. So...let's get on with it...I will say one of the fun things about Angels & Demons, is simply how much the author has going on at the same time. He juggles the story very well without getting the reader lost. He is also able to keep all the characters uniqe and distinct from each other. He heeps the story moving very well, while adding flashbacks to punctuate and explain events.
Sadly the only true flaw in this book, for me at least, is the simple fact that I didn't care for any of his characters. No emotional attachment, nothing. Kind of like watching a Keanu Reeves movie...you know a lot of flash, no substance. So if you want a decent story with some great plot twists, than read it...you might like it more than I did.
5/14/2006
Review of My Point...And I Do Have One
Very rarely, does one comedians humor come across in the written form, as well as Ellen's does. While reading her book, it truly felt like she was over my shoulder, and that was a little creepy. Her, what almost seems like irrational thought pattern, flows so well, it's like she takes you on a scenic drive and before you know it, you're lost, but you got where you were going. Doesn't make much sense? If you read this book, it will. It's a very fun and enjoyable read. Well that's it for now...until next time...I remain me, and you remain you
5/11/2006
Review of The Thieves of Heaven
First, let's talk about a great book. For a first novel, and a whim buy, I didn't expect much. You know, like trying a new restaturant. It could be great, just ok or suck. Well this book is, for lack of a better synonym, great! The characters are truly believable, likable, horrific and all mesmerizing. The storytelling superb and the pacing is perfect for the tone and feel for this book.This book would be an excellent addition to anyones library, and I am greatly looking forward to his second book. I think...strike that, I know I have a new author whose work will be read and re-read often. I aim to follow all his work, although anything following this book, will have some pretty big shoes to fill, but after the caliber of this one book, I have no doubt in my mind, that those shoes will be filled, and even surpassed.
4/13/2006
THE BURGER KING
I was just watching the Burger King commercial, you know the ones with the over sized head. The only reason I bring this up is because the "king" has that sexual predator look dontcha think? Just another random thought.
SORRY IT'S BEEN A WHILE
Well what can I say, I been busy with 2 things going on in my life. The first is getting the plans for my wedding going as smoothly as possible. The second is having really nothing to say. So I been on occasion just jotting some notes down and when I get a moment I go back and check out what I had jotted and I see where it goes. I won't be doing a daily thing as much or as often...well not until after the 26th of April. After that the marriage will be official, and more time will be open. Just a quick update on the lil waste of space called my life.
SALLY FIELD
I want to punch her in the face. I don’t know why, I just do. But not just Sally Field, Katie Holmes, Cindy Williams and Karle Warren are also in the punch in the face category. All my life I’ve had this thought, well as far back as I can remember. I told this to Season back a while ago, about Katie Holmes.
She told me about a time when a friend of hers told her that when she went to Disney, to punch Piglet in the Stomach. So I told her about wanting to punch Katie Holmes in the face and she laughed.
Than about 3-4 weeks ago Forrest Gump was on…and I said, “That’s the original punch in the face girl.” Than…she jumps off the couch and just about cart wheeled to the computer. She yells at me to come to the computer and has me do a side-by-side comparison of Holmes and Field…and lo and behold there are many similarities. So every time I have a “punch in the face moment” Season tells me it’s another similarity. Just thought I’d share something that for some reason makes Season laugh.
She told me about a time when a friend of hers told her that when she went to Disney, to punch Piglet in the Stomach. So I told her about wanting to punch Katie Holmes in the face and she laughed.
Than about 3-4 weeks ago Forrest Gump was on…and I said, “That’s the original punch in the face girl.” Than…she jumps off the couch and just about cart wheeled to the computer. She yells at me to come to the computer and has me do a side-by-side comparison of Holmes and Field…and lo and behold there are many similarities. So every time I have a “punch in the face moment” Season tells me it’s another similarity. Just thought I’d share something that for some reason makes Season laugh.
DAYTIME TV
Oh my god…I’m wasting my days watching “Primetime in the Daytime.” I really think I need to find another hobby.
FLIP TOP HEADS
You know I remember the old reach toothbrush commercials, you know the ones with the flip top heads. I just remember how back than I thought it would have been so cool to have a flip top head. You know just to be sitting in class, than all of a sudden “look the human Pez dispenser!” This was just a random thought that crept into this lil waste of space that I call my brain
4/12/2006
MORE EMAILS...AGAIN AND AGAIN
Subject: 15 police comments....
The following 15 Police Comments were taken off of actual police car videos around the country.
15. "Relax; the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."
14. "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."
13. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
12. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun."
11. "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
10. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"
9. "Warning? You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
8. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
7. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in Monkey DOO."
6. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
5. "No, sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
4. "Just how big were those two beers?"
3. "In God we trust, all others we run through CPI C/NCIC.."
2. "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."
And.................... THE BEST ONE !!!!!!!
1. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."
The following 15 Police Comments were taken off of actual police car videos around the country.
15. "Relax; the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."
14. "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."
13. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
12. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun."
11. "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
10. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"
9. "Warning? You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
8. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
7. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in Monkey DOO."
6. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
5. "No, sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
4. "Just how big were those two beers?"
3. "In God we trust, all others we run through CPI C/NCIC.."
2. "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."
And.................... THE BEST ONE !!!!!!!
1. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."
MORE EMAILS...AGAIN
What I've learned:
There is power of life and death in the tongue. An encouraging word to someone who is down can lift them up and help them make it through the day. The other side of that is, a destructive word to someone who is down can be what it takes to kill them.
Strange Quotes About 'Character':
Personality can open doors, but only character can keep them open. - Elmer G. Letterman
A person reveals his character by nothing so clearly as the joke he resents. - Georg Christoph Lichtenberg (1742 - 1799)
When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends. - Japanese Proverb
Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. - Abraham Lincoln (1809 -1865)
A happy ending depends on where you stop the story.
There is power of life and death in the tongue. An encouraging word to someone who is down can lift them up and help them make it through the day. The other side of that is, a destructive word to someone who is down can be what it takes to kill them.
Strange Quotes About 'Character':
Personality can open doors, but only character can keep them open. - Elmer G. Letterman
A person reveals his character by nothing so clearly as the joke he resents. - Georg Christoph Lichtenberg (1742 - 1799)
When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends. - Japanese Proverb
Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. - Abraham Lincoln (1809 -1865)
A happy ending depends on where you stop the story.
4/10/2006
How To Shower Like a Man
1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake weiner at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
4. Admire the size of your weiner and scratch your ass.
5. Get in the shower, Wash your face.
6. Wash your armpits.
7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
8. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower.
9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
10. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
11. Shampoo your hair.
12. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
13. Pee.
14. Rinse off and get out of shower.
15. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
16. Admire weiner size in mirror again.
17. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
18. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake weiner at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
19. Throw wet towel on bed.
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake weiner at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
4. Admire the size of your weiner and scratch your ass.
5. Get in the shower, Wash your face.
6. Wash your armpits.
7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
8. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower.
9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
10. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
11. Shampoo your hair.
12. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
13. Pee.
14. Rinse off and get out of shower.
15. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
16. Admire weiner size in mirror again.
17. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
18. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake weiner at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
19. Throw wet towel on bed.
How To Shower Like a Woman
1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror, make mental note to do more sit-ups.
4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.
5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
10. Rinse conditioner off hair.
11. Shave armpits and legs.
12. Turn off shower.
13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
15. Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.
16. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
17. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror, make mental note to do more sit-ups.
4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.
5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
10. Rinse conditioner off hair.
11. Shave armpits and legs.
12. Turn off shower.
13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
15. Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.
16. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
17. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
4/02/2006
CLEAR DIRECTIONS???
On a bar of Dial soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be how??...)
On some Swanson frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion.)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot afterheating."
(...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
"Do not iron clothes onbody. "
(but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car oroperate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with headcolds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and... I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor useonly."
(as opposed to...what?)
On Sunsbury's peanuts:
"Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with yourhands or genitals."
(..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be how??...)
On some Swanson frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion.)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot afterheating."
(...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
"Do not iron clothes onbody. "
(but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car oroperate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with headcolds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and... I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor useonly."
(as opposed to...what?)
On Sunsbury's peanuts:
"Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with yourhands or genitals."
(..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
EVER WONDER?
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is it that to stop Windows, you have to click on "Start"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is it that to stop Windows, you have to click on "Start"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
ONLY IN AMERICA
1. Can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions whilehealthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a DIET coke.
5. Do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
10. Do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering
2. Are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions whilehealthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a DIET coke.
5. Do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
10. Do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering
3/27/2006
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU CROSS BRAD PITT AND THE SMURFS?
http://www.milkandcookies.com/link/35226/detail/
THIS!!!!
THIS!!!!
I BELIEVE THIS TO BE MY LAST BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN PARAODY
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click here to view the post.
YOU KNOW SOMETIMES ADVERTISING IS JUST TOO DAMN FUNNY
http://www.toxic.no/php/vis_film.php?id=82 Kinda makes you think a wee lil bit...LOL
WHAT THE INTERNET IS FOR
WHAT THE INTERNET IS FOR
INTERNET IS FOR PORN Umm I guess the link kinda says it...but the vid is quite funny
INTERNET IS FOR PORN Umm I guess the link kinda says it...but the vid is quite funny
3/22/2006
A BLOG TO READ
Insight, passion and wisdom are things that come from many places. This is one of them...please read it.
http://thecapt.blog-city.com/
http://thecapt.blog-city.com/
3/20/2006
Dr. Season prescribes....
at least 24 hours of bed rest. Hopefully his fever will break and his flu will be under control. Please check back on Wednesday.
THE WEEKEND
Well, lets start with that. I was just making sure I got somethings posted and some links up before I forgot. So let's start:
FRIDAY
Season and I, went out on a date. We did the movie and dinner thing, meaning we are getting to old to think of more exciting things to do, well atleast outside the home. HEEHEE. So we went to see Memoirs of a Geisha, and as usual Season said I probably wouldn't like it. Which always cracks me up, because with the exception of Sideways, we have pretty much agreed on all the movies we've seen. I mean she did "trick" me into watching The Life of David Gale, by telling me that Laura Linney gets naked. Of course she did fail to mention that it was during her suicide. Anyways, I getting off track here...we went to see Memoirs of a Geisha, and I was very impressed. The actors, along with sets, cotumes and locations were superb. A very solid story, with a very perfect ending for this drama. Of course never having read the book, of the same name, I had to rely on Season, who did read the book, for the trivial facts and such. With a few minor, well when they were explained to me they seemed minor, she said it was pretty close. So there you have it, we both liked the movie. So afterwards, for a late dinner, we really didn't care where or what, so because it was on the way home, and we were pretty close to it atthe time, we caved into corporations and ate at Applebee's. Yeah, just what we expected, overpriced mediocore food. So than we came home and called it a night. The end of Friday. Well the end of Friday with Season, a little bit later I'll go into lunch with my mother and sister.
SATURDAY
On Saturday mornings and for the past 6 Saturdays, we have breakfast with my stepfather. You know one of these days I'm gonna have to come up with a different name for him. Screw it. We had breakfast with Jeff at Denny's. It was as usual...very much a Denny's, meal. So afterwards, Season and I decided to go out for a drive. We did. We were on the road for about 5-6 hours. We came home. Brought some Chinese Food with us...and that's all I'm saying about that...other than it was a late night.
SUNDAY
We woke up early...don't you hate when that happens? Well anyways, we watched Saturday Night Main Event, and I think I'm bringing Season around to "Sports Entertainment". Well after that...I guess it's another "CENSORED" moment. Than a Homer Simpson moment. It was a donut craving moment. It was a drive 45 minutes for Dunkin Donut's (and the irony that on the front page of the site, there's not a single donut). So after a DD feeding frenzy, we did something I haven't done in a very very long time. I asked Season if she wanted to go play video games. So we went to Fun World, and we shot things, beat each other up, blew each other up, competed (albeit not seriously) and many an ass whoopings were handed out. We came home, cuddled and later went to sleep. Now this may not be a picture perfect weekend, but Season and I aren't picture perfect either, well except to each other. So for us, it was absolutely perfect.
Thanks for letting me share,
Jose
FRIDAY
Season and I, went out on a date. We did the movie and dinner thing, meaning we are getting to old to think of more exciting things to do, well atleast outside the home. HEEHEE. So we went to see Memoirs of a Geisha, and as usual Season said I probably wouldn't like it. Which always cracks me up, because with the exception of Sideways, we have pretty much agreed on all the movies we've seen. I mean she did "trick" me into watching The Life of David Gale, by telling me that Laura Linney gets naked. Of course she did fail to mention that it was during her suicide. Anyways, I getting off track here...we went to see Memoirs of a Geisha, and I was very impressed. The actors, along with sets, cotumes and locations were superb. A very solid story, with a very perfect ending for this drama. Of course never having read the book, of the same name, I had to rely on Season, who did read the book, for the trivial facts and such. With a few minor, well when they were explained to me they seemed minor, she said it was pretty close. So there you have it, we both liked the movie. So afterwards, for a late dinner, we really didn't care where or what, so because it was on the way home, and we were pretty close to it atthe time, we caved into corporations and ate at Applebee's. Yeah, just what we expected, overpriced mediocore food. So than we came home and called it a night. The end of Friday. Well the end of Friday with Season, a little bit later I'll go into lunch with my mother and sister.
SATURDAY
On Saturday mornings and for the past 6 Saturdays, we have breakfast with my stepfather. You know one of these days I'm gonna have to come up with a different name for him. Screw it. We had breakfast with Jeff at Denny's. It was as usual...very much a Denny's, meal. So afterwards, Season and I decided to go out for a drive. We did. We were on the road for about 5-6 hours. We came home. Brought some Chinese Food with us...and that's all I'm saying about that...other than it was a late night.
SUNDAY
We woke up early...don't you hate when that happens? Well anyways, we watched Saturday Night Main Event, and I think I'm bringing Season around to "Sports Entertainment". Well after that...I guess it's another "CENSORED" moment. Than a Homer Simpson moment. It was a donut craving moment. It was a drive 45 minutes for Dunkin Donut's (and the irony that on the front page of the site, there's not a single donut). So after a DD feeding frenzy, we did something I haven't done in a very very long time. I asked Season if she wanted to go play video games. So we went to Fun World, and we shot things, beat each other up, blew each other up, competed (albeit not seriously) and many an ass whoopings were handed out. We came home, cuddled and later went to sleep. Now this may not be a picture perfect weekend, but Season and I aren't picture perfect either, well except to each other. So for us, it was absolutely perfect.
Thanks for letting me share,
Jose
A POST...A COMMENT...AND THE REASON
So here's how it goes...
the post... SIMPLY PUT...THIS OUR SONG...MEANING SEASON AND I
the comment... kevin g made this comment, It's cool that you've picked up a song to identify with.
the reason... OK, well it had been 5 almost 6 months since I moved into Rivendale. I was very very lonely, sad and slowly dying. So a week earlier, I more or less blackmailed Season to come and spend some time with me...and that night saved my life. No lie. That night I as ready to lay down and let the buzzards claim me. A bit melodramatic I know, but what can I say, I was ready. So Season showed up...and at the end of the night...she asked me when I normally go out. So I told her "Now...only on Tuesdays." So she said, in the cliff note version of the conversation, "I'll see you next Tuesday." And I agreed. So at that moment...the Governor of Joseville...had granted a stay of execution. So the next Tuesday...Season was there...and so was I. Well as the night went on...Season, myself, the bartender and the off duty bartender were throwing them down. So the employees, somewhere near the end of the evening, said "you 2 should dance." Both Season and I agreed...and very emphatically said NO!!! Well the bartender said..."If I have to dance so do you 2." So both Season and I said umm...well OK...and to each other "well it will get them off our backs." Well the song that played was "We Danced". That was pretty much the moment when we both new and admitted that there was a chemistry. So yeah to this day, that will always be our song. Just some clarification.
Enjoy.
Jose
the post... SIMPLY PUT...THIS OUR SONG...MEANING SEASON AND I
the comment... kevin g made this comment, It's cool that you've picked up a song to identify with.
the reason... OK, well it had been 5 almost 6 months since I moved into Rivendale. I was very very lonely, sad and slowly dying. So a week earlier, I more or less blackmailed Season to come and spend some time with me...and that night saved my life. No lie. That night I as ready to lay down and let the buzzards claim me. A bit melodramatic I know, but what can I say, I was ready. So Season showed up...and at the end of the night...she asked me when I normally go out. So I told her "Now...only on Tuesdays." So she said, in the cliff note version of the conversation, "I'll see you next Tuesday." And I agreed. So at that moment...the Governor of Joseville...had granted a stay of execution. So the next Tuesday...Season was there...and so was I. Well as the night went on...Season, myself, the bartender and the off duty bartender were throwing them down. So the employees, somewhere near the end of the evening, said "you 2 should dance." Both Season and I agreed...and very emphatically said NO!!! Well the bartender said..."If I have to dance so do you 2." So both Season and I said umm...well OK...and to each other "well it will get them off our backs." Well the song that played was "We Danced". That was pretty much the moment when we both new and admitted that there was a chemistry. So yeah to this day, that will always be our song. Just some clarification.
Enjoy.
Jose
MEN AND HOUSEWORK
One evening, Jenny arrived home from work to find the children bathed, one load of clothes in the washer and another in the dryer, dinner on the stove, and the table set.
She was astonished --somethings up.
It turned out that Ralph had read an article that said wives who worked full-time and had to do their own housework were too tired have sex.
The night went well and the next day, she told her office friends all about it.
"We had a great dinner. Ralph even cleaned up. He helped the kids do their homework, folded all the laundry and put everything away. I really enjoyed the evening."
"But what about afterward?" asked her friends.
"Oh,That was perfect too. Ralph was too tired..."
She was astonished --somethings up.
It turned out that Ralph had read an article that said wives who worked full-time and had to do their own housework were too tired have sex.
The night went well and the next day, she told her office friends all about it.
"We had a great dinner. Ralph even cleaned up. He helped the kids do their homework, folded all the laundry and put everything away. I really enjoyed the evening."
"But what about afterward?" asked her friends.
"Oh,That was perfect too. Ralph was too tired..."
HOW MOSES GOT THE 10 COMMANDMENTS
God went to the Arabs and said, "I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better."
The Arabs asked, "What are Commandments?"
And the Lord said, "They are rules for living."
"Can you give us an example?"
"Thou shall not kill."
"Not kill? We're not interested."
So He went to the Blacks and said, "I have Commandments."
The Blacks asked "What are Commandments? Can you give us an example?"
"Honor thy Father and Mother."
"Father? We don't know who our fathers are. We aint inerested"
Then He went to the Mexicans and said, "I have Commandments."
The Mexicans asked "What are Commandments? Can you give us and example."
"Thou shall not steal."
"Not steal? We're not interested."
Then He went to the French and said, "I have Commandments."
The French asked "What are Commandments? Can you give us and example."
"Thou shall not commit adultery."
"Not commit adultery? We're not interested."
Finally, He went to the Jews and said, "I have Commandments."
"Commandments?" They said, "How much are they?"
"They're free."
"We'll take 10."
There, that ought to offend just about everybody!
The Arabs asked, "What are Commandments?"
And the Lord said, "They are rules for living."
"Can you give us an example?"
"Thou shall not kill."
"Not kill? We're not interested."
So He went to the Blacks and said, "I have Commandments."
The Blacks asked "What are Commandments? Can you give us an example?"
"Honor thy Father and Mother."
"Father? We don't know who our fathers are. We aint inerested"
Then He went to the Mexicans and said, "I have Commandments."
The Mexicans asked "What are Commandments? Can you give us and example."
"Thou shall not steal."
"Not steal? We're not interested."
Then He went to the French and said, "I have Commandments."
The French asked "What are Commandments? Can you give us and example."
"Thou shall not commit adultery."
"Not commit adultery? We're not interested."
Finally, He went to the Jews and said, "I have Commandments."
"Commandments?" They said, "How much are they?"
"They're free."
"We'll take 10."
There, that ought to offend just about everybody!
JUST A GAME I WASTED MOST OF A DAY ON
and I thought I would share. So here you go... http://www.arcadebin.com/index.php?action=play&id=295
THIS IS JUST INSANE
http://www.dumpalink.com/media/1142411367/Insane_Head_Twist ...UMMM well I did say it was insane
DOGGIE PORN....LMAO
http://www.medialunchbox.com/Funny-Videos/6.Animals/144.Doggie-Threesome.html just wrong and truly disturbing...but mostly funny
3/17/2006
PORN...LOL...PORN
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LqloHbHlA40&feature=Views&page=4&t=t&f=b
this is one of the greatest pranks...LOL
this is one of the greatest pranks...LOL
3/16/2006
"We Danced"
"We Danced"
The bar was empty
I was sweeping up the floor
That's when she walked in
I said, "I'm sorry but we're closed"
And she said "I know,
But I'm afraid I left my purse"
I said, "I put one back behind the bar
I bet it's probably yours"
And the next thing that I knew There we were, lost in conversation
And before I handed her her purse
I said, "You'll only get this back on one condition"
[Chorus]And we danced
Out there on that empty hardwood floor
The chairs up and the lights turned way down low
The music played, we held each other close
And we danced
And from that moment There was never any doubt
I had found the one
That I had always dreamed about
And then one evenin'
When she stopped by after work
I pulled a diamond ring out of the pocket of my shirt
And as her eyes filled up with tears
She said, "This is the last thing I expected"
And then she took me by the hand
And said, "I'll only marry you on one condition"
[Chorus]
Like no one else had ever danced before
I can't explain what happened on that floor
But the music played We held each other close
And we danced
Yeah, we danced
The bar was empty
I was sweeping up the floor
That's when she walked in
I said, "I'm sorry but we're closed"
And she said "I know,
But I'm afraid I left my purse"
I said, "I put one back behind the bar
I bet it's probably yours"
And the next thing that I knew There we were, lost in conversation
And before I handed her her purse
I said, "You'll only get this back on one condition"
[Chorus]And we danced
Out there on that empty hardwood floor
The chairs up and the lights turned way down low
The music played, we held each other close
And we danced
And from that moment There was never any doubt
I had found the one
That I had always dreamed about
And then one evenin'
When she stopped by after work
I pulled a diamond ring out of the pocket of my shirt
And as her eyes filled up with tears
She said, "This is the last thing I expected"
And then she took me by the hand
And said, "I'll only marry you on one condition"
[Chorus]
Like no one else had ever danced before
I can't explain what happened on that floor
But the music played We held each other close
And we danced
Yeah, we danced
3/15/2006
THIS IS SO WRONG...BUT
Damnit I had to share. It sure puts that christmas song into a new perspective...LOL
http://www.comeallyefaithful.co.uk/
http://www.comeallyefaithful.co.uk/
HONESTLY...this isn't funny
But every once in a while the writers have no clue what they are doing...this was taken from http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/4806852.stm and cut and pasted here in it's complete form(minus the picture) and well you tell me...
Train kills deaf US beauty queen
A deaf beauty queen has died after being struck by a train in the US state of Texas.
Miss Deaf Texas, Tara Rose McAvoy, 18, who was deaf from birth, was hit by the train in Austin on Monday.
(this is where the writer gets stupid. Jose)----> The train continued to sound its horn right up to the accident, a witness told a local television station.
The Texas Association of the Deaf had been appealing for funds to help send Ms McAvoy to the national deaf pageant in California in July.
The state pageant director, Laura Loeb-Hill, told the Associated Press news agency on Monday that Ms McAvoy had represented the state "with dignity and pride".
Ms McAvoy had started at Gallaudet University in Washington in January but had returned to Texas, Ms Loeb-Hill said.
Now don't get me wrong I feel bad for this girl and her family and friends, but to mention that the train kept blowing it's horn...just plain stupid. It's like those signs that tell you there a deaf child in the area, and the smart asses who just start blaring their car horns...see??
tell me what ya think..
Jose
Train kills deaf US beauty queen
A deaf beauty queen has died after being struck by a train in the US state of Texas.
Miss Deaf Texas, Tara Rose McAvoy, 18, who was deaf from birth, was hit by the train in Austin on Monday.
(this is where the writer gets stupid. Jose)----> The train continued to sound its horn right up to the accident, a witness told a local television station.
The Texas Association of the Deaf had been appealing for funds to help send Ms McAvoy to the national deaf pageant in California in July.
The state pageant director, Laura Loeb-Hill, told the Associated Press news agency on Monday that Ms McAvoy had represented the state "with dignity and pride".
Ms McAvoy had started at Gallaudet University in Washington in January but had returned to Texas, Ms Loeb-Hill said.
Now don't get me wrong I feel bad for this girl and her family and friends, but to mention that the train kept blowing it's horn...just plain stupid. It's like those signs that tell you there a deaf child in the area, and the smart asses who just start blaring their car horns...see??
tell me what ya think..
Jose
3/14/2006
I HATE TV...hey where's the remote
OK Tonight I watched Nashville Star. I'll be watching it again next week. I'll probably watch it, for the 8 weeks it is on. Man I need a life.
Jose
Jose
WELL I'M FEELING BETTER...SORTA
Well all I can really say is that the fever is gone...still achey...still tired...and allergies are still kicking my ass. So with that said, I dunno if I'll be posting tomorrow, you see I gotta do the multicalling thing. I gotta call the marriage license people, the clerks people and even maybe some Rivendale people. So I guess to make up for that I'll be here on and off all day today if'n when I find sumfin worth talking bout. see ya'll real soon.
Jose
Jose
TRANSFORMERS MORE THAN MEETS THE...FORCE???
Good golly miss molly, another fanboys wet dream. Who would have thunk it? Star Wars vehicles and characters, have joined the Transformers. Since right now it's just the villains will they be called the Autobots and the Republicons? Wow, another joke that only a few will ever understand, anyways, here's the link so check it out...
http://www.starwars.com/collecting/news/hasbro/news20060310.html
enjoy
Jose
http://www.starwars.com/collecting/news/hasbro/news20060310.html
enjoy
Jose
3/13/2006
SICK OF IT ALL...PASS THE COLD MEDICINE PLEASE
Godamnit, I'm sick again. Plus my allergies (that were non existant in Rivendale) have come back with a vengence. So today I'm curling up on the couch with Battlestar Galactica on the SciFi channel, drinking juice and cursing the person who gave this to me. hopefully I'll be in better form tomorrow.
Jose
Jose
3/12/2006
LOL I HAD A REQUEST...sorta
LOL, now who says that if you make a request (or even just hint) There's a decent chance I might be able to help...so here you go...
LIVE ACTION SIMPSONS
LIVE ACTION SIMPSONS
3/10/2006
SIMPSONS & SOUTH PARK?? awesome
A nice spoof of South Park by the Simpson's
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/77725/simpsons_spoof_southpark/
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/77725/simpsons_spoof_southpark/
SITTING IN AWE
Yo know I waste a lot of time on this blog. Sometimes I have very deep things to say and sometimes I have nothing to say. But most times, I'm just sharing with you all things that catch my eye, get emailed to me or I find on another blog/website just by accident. But there are times when a simple little comment will take me in a direction I didn't know was there. You see a fellow blogger left a comment, so being the nosy lil bastard I am, I checked his profile to see if he had a blog. He did, so there I go and read the whole thing. And I sit here in awe of his use of words and emotions, accentuated by music references, which when done, creates and amazing experience. I've been sitting here for close to 30 minutes trying to figure out how to give this guy and his blog the proper respect, and I think I might have it. It's blogs like that, where the blog is a canvas and that blogger an artist, that proves that this blogger is still using crayola crayons and filling in a coloring book. So here you go.
Missed Exit
Check it out. It's one of the few times I won't have to tell you to enjoy, because when you do read it, you will.
Jose
Missed Exit
Check it out. It's one of the few times I won't have to tell you to enjoy, because when you do read it, you will.
Jose
THE HUSBAND STORE
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!>-----------------------------------------------------------------------
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.
The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the Sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor.
There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a New Wives store just across the street.
The first floor has wives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex and have money.
The third through sixth floors have never been visited.
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.
The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the Sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor.
There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a New Wives store just across the street.
The first floor has wives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex and have money.
The third through sixth floors have never been visited.
KERMIT IS THE ONE
LOL the muppets like you've never seen before.
http://www.disloyal.org/videos/592/themuppetmatrix.html
enjoy
Jose
http://www.disloyal.org/videos/592/themuppetmatrix.html
enjoy
Jose
QUEEN AMIDALA....YEEEEEAH BOOOOOOOOOOOY!!!!!
LMAO!!!! OMG!!! Well what can I say other than here's Natalie Portman on SNL (WHAT!!) I said here's Natalie Portman on SNL getting GANGSTA RAP on all of yous. WORD!
http://www.kontraband.com/show/show.asp?ID=3406&rtn=index-topten
enjoy
Jose
http://www.kontraband.com/show/show.asp?ID=3406&rtn=index-topten
enjoy
Jose
OOOOH DAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN!!!!!
I went and watched the X-Men III trailer today. Yowza!! Sweet MAMA!! OOOOOOH SNAAAAAAAAAP!! Slap My Ass and call it a Lil Burrito!! It was amazing. I'm actually now very very interested in the movie. Damnit!! Now there are 3 movies I have the hankering for. Well here you go, check out the trailer, and decide for yourself if it's going to be one of the coolest flicks this summer.
http://www.apple.com/trailers/fox/tls/trailer/large.html
enjoy
Jose
http://www.apple.com/trailers/fox/tls/trailer/large.html
enjoy
Jose
MARIO IS BACK...sorta
You know I'm not that big on video games but yes back in the 80's I too was bitten by the Mario Bros' bug. But not as much as these two cats. The first guy does a pretty cool job on the theme and he adds a lot of the special F?X sounds too...
http://www.compfused.com/directlink/99/
but this next guy does him one up. He plays the entire theme on 2 guitars. And it's pretty spooky how good it sounds
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSzUe3ZQvxQ
so enjoy
Jose
http://www.compfused.com/directlink/99/
but this next guy does him one up. He plays the entire theme on 2 guitars. And it's pretty spooky how good it sounds
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSzUe3ZQvxQ
so enjoy
Jose
NOW THESE ARE YOUR FRIENDS...well at least mine
As I've always said, your worst enemies are your best friends, only because we allow them to do these kind of things
http://www.thatvideosite.com/view/1778.html
http://www.thatvideosite.com/view/1778.html
Blind Man In A Ladies Bar
A blind man enters a Ladies' Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you want to hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is just fair - giving that you are blind - that you should know five things:
1 - The bartender is a blonde girl.
2 - The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3 - I'm a 6 feet tall, 220 lb. blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4 - The woman sitting next to me is a blonde professional weight lifter.
5 - The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.
Now think about it seriously, mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is just fair - giving that you are blind - that you should know five things:
1 - The bartender is a blonde girl.
2 - The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3 - I'm a 6 feet tall, 220 lb. blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4 - The woman sitting next to me is a blonde professional weight lifter.
5 - The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.
Now think about it seriously, mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
3/09/2006
IS THIS ANYBODY YOU KNOW?
Season says this is me to the letter...
http://www.ucomics.com/foxtrot/2006/03/09/
and I think she might be right
http://www.ucomics.com/foxtrot/2006/03/09/
and I think she might be right
SPEAKING OF...
I just wanted tolet you all in on a little secret. I read comics. Ok that aint much of a secret, I know. But because of the last post, I went back and reread some of my comics. Well ok I wnet back and reread one set of comics. It's called BATTLE POPE. It's a heart warming tale of a gun toting, cigar smoking, tail chasing and whiskey drinking right hand of god bitch slapping demons. You know a family story. Just wanted to let you know.
Jose
Jose
A DIRECT LINE TO THE MAN UPSTAIRS
OH MY GOD! You know there are many things in this world that make me utter that phrase. Usually it's Season, hee hee hee, but never has it been more true than this. The pope has an email address. Did you hear me? I said THE POPE HAS AN EMAIL ADDRESS!! Because just praying for thngs wasn't good enough, now you can ask the main man to speak on your behalf. Where was this when I was asking god to make it snow because I didn't have my homework done? Back than I could have just emailed the pope and said
"Dear Mr. Pope, can you ask god for me to make it snow for me, I know he'll listen to you , cuz well, you are his Earth Rep. Thanks a lot I really appreciate it. I'll see you on sunday.
Love,
me"
Well in my head it made sense. But isn't the pope to busy to be wasting time on the internet? I mean does he get spammed like the rest of us, or does he have the "holy spam blocker of antioch?" I wonder what his holiness' reaction when he gets that generic viagra email? Or the christain singles or want a date email? I mean does the holiest of holies really need credit cards or starbucks and walmart surveys/gift cards? OH MY GOD does the pope need a bigger penis?? Maybe that's why we all get spammed. Maybe it's because the pope needs all these things, and this is gods way of telling us what we need to do to claim salvation. Or maybe this is just my way to make my fiery decent into the lake of fire and brimstone happen that much faster?
Jose
ps the addy is benedictxvi@vatican.va
"Dear Mr. Pope, can you ask god for me to make it snow for me, I know he'll listen to you , cuz well, you are his Earth Rep. Thanks a lot I really appreciate it. I'll see you on sunday.
Love,
me"
Well in my head it made sense. But isn't the pope to busy to be wasting time on the internet? I mean does he get spammed like the rest of us, or does he have the "holy spam blocker of antioch?" I wonder what his holiness' reaction when he gets that generic viagra email? Or the christain singles or want a date email? I mean does the holiest of holies really need credit cards or starbucks and walmart surveys/gift cards? OH MY GOD does the pope need a bigger penis?? Maybe that's why we all get spammed. Maybe it's because the pope needs all these things, and this is gods way of telling us what we need to do to claim salvation. Or maybe this is just my way to make my fiery decent into the lake of fire and brimstone happen that much faster?
Jose
ps the addy is benedictxvi@vatican.va
A WEDDING UPDATE a letter to my cuz
About wedding plans (Jose story time…so sit back and get comfy). Well originally we were planning for June 3rd (that way I could never forget) because we had originally planned on having it up in the RIVENDALE area, so Season’s mom could come. She pretty much refuses to do any real road trip and being almost 80, I can understand. We were going to have a friend of ours, who has one of those Internet priest certificates, marry us, but he hasn’t got back to us. Well you know we wanted small service (meaning very very tiny), well Season’s mom called and pissed off Season. It went from both moms and 2 of Season’s friends being there (one because we were going to have it a the resort that her friend Jenny runs) and since other than you I having anyone else there really didn’t matter to me very much. So because you know my mom doesn’t go anywhere without my sis, we figured that my sis would come too. So when Season said this to her mom, well than it became “You know Season, you should rethink not inviting your siblings”, which turned into “We should invite some aunts and uncles”. To which my betrothed said, “If we invite one set of aunts and uncles, we’ll have to invite his aunt and uncles too”. Which, in our family at least, means that the cousins/dates/spouses/children are likewise invited. Which would than mean that we would have to invite her cousins/dates/spouses/children. So this little 8 person event becomes an almost 120 person event. That’s not including some of the few people if we had a choice we would rather have there, instead of family. You know what I mean so far? So needless to say, every time this is brought up Season just gets more and more irate (which as you know is 2 degrees past pissed). So because of this, it has turned into a let’s go to Vegas and get married there. I mean the $55 dollar license fee, no waiting period, and the fact that the license place is open 18 hours a day, makes it a very appealing idea. The only down side to this is the (total) $800 dollar plane trip/hotel room for 2 ½ days, or the $700-800 gas price to drive back and forth. So as of this moment in time (March 8, 2006) Season will be leaving early next Friday, and we’ll be heading to the State building and starting the whole marriage license thing. So after all that, we’re going to get married in a court house, we’re going to ask 2 people who are there to be our witnesses, going up to the Rivendale area on June 1st or June 2nd to the resort, stay there till the 5th, have that be our reception and our honeymoon. Again that’s of right now, that sure doesn’t mean it won’t change between now and than.
3/08/2006
[Review] CENTURY CHILD by NIGHTWISH
Review of Century Child
Well, I'm relatively new Nightwish fan, as I've only been into them for less than a year now, but I do have all their material, thanks to my friend Ray-Ray. She burned all the albums for me, and I'm in the process of getting the originals as we type. But I just wanted to tell you all how cool this album is. It's not any part of what is mainstream music. It's a great mix of heavy and orchestral music. A great mix of rock and opera, with some beautiful and sometimes haunting vocals and solid musicianship blends this all into a truly unique aural experience. If you never heard of them here you go. If you have heard of them, make a comment. Either way enjoy the music.
Jose
[Review] A Goofy Movie (Disney Gold Classic Collection)
Review of A Goofy Movie (Disney Gold Classic Collection)So last night, Season and I decided (well ok, it was me I hadn't seen this lil flick in a while and I had the hankerin to see it again) to watch A Goofy Movie. Ironically I had forgotten, how good this movie is. It has all th elements of a typical Disney movie, the song and dance number, the moral upholdings and the happy ending. But one thing this movie has is great connection for the father/son relationship during the awkward moments in life. You all know them, we usually call it "the teens". It's just a wonderful little movie that captures that feeling of wanting your own life (as a teen) and wanting to be a part of it (the parent). Just thought I'd share.
Jose
HELPING YOU HELPS ME...POST
Yesterday, and I got an email to help with a survey on parenting...and after reading it again today...it also works for a post...so here it is.Think back to when you were a child (school age) andanswer the following questions.
You can skip the firstone.
1. How old are you? Are you a boy or girl?
33 boy(although I think male is more appropriate)
2. Number these items with a number 1, 2, or 3. Thenumber 1 means it is really important to you, thenumber 2 means it is sort of important, the number 3means it is not important at all to you. There are noright or wrong answers.
_3___ Watching TV
_1___ My parentsand family
_2___ Using the computer
_1___ My friends
_1___ Telling the truth
_3___ Video games
_2___ Money
_1___ Schooland learning
_1___ Reading books
_2___ My health
_3___ Junk food
_2___ Music
3. What was your favorite thing to do as a kid?
pretend to be anybody but me
Why?
cuz that's what i did for fun. pretend to be stronger faster braver smarter, because those were the things that all kids want to be
4. Who was your favorite person, TV character, singer,band, or cartoon character? How come?
fave person-MOM cuz that's all I had
TV Character-Superman cuz I thought it would be so cool to fly away
singer-Donny Osmond cuz he was just cool
band-?? as a kid I really didn't listen to music, well not until I was almost 13
cartoon character-Aquaman cuz he was a king, he could swim, and talk to fishes
5. Did you normally eat dinner with your family?
NO
6. Was the TV on while you were eating dinner? Did youeat in front of the TV or at the dinner table?
YES tv was on and the DINNER TABLE was IN FRONT OF THE TV
7. Did your family play games or watch moviestogether?
NO
8. Did you go to church or Sunday school?
Yes but only because I had to go to church thru school, but no to sunday services
Think back to when you were a kid and answer these questions. If you weren't raised by your parents please specify who raised you.
1 What is your gender, age?
male 33
2 Did you respect your parents?
YES
3 How were you diciplined?
corpral punishment/time outs (except back than we called it sitting in a corner)
Did it work?
only till I got old enough to take the spankings and the corner treatment better
4 Did you have family activities? What were they?
no and N/A
5 Do you think being a parent is easier today than itwas 20 years ago?
NO
Why?
The resposnibilities and "threats" have changed. Before when diciplining a child was the act of a parent and the community, now is cause for mental and physical anguish. 20 years ago the community watched out for kids who were out running errands, where now most children are the victims of "oh look at that poor kid, WHERE are their parents?" 20 years ago children and parents took responsibility for their actions, where nowadays, its ADD, peer pressure, running with the wrong crowd, the fault of music, the fault of working parents not being home, the fault of video games/tv/movies/celebrities, it's a chemical imbalance, the parents don't give enough structure, they give too much structure, the schools/teachers don't care enough/too much, "stay out of it, we'll raise our child we don't need you telling us how", we were never told we could/couldn't do that. Back thanrespect for everyone was ingrained because that's what was acceptable behavior. We as kids didn't have any rights. We were allowed to be kids, and as kids we were all part of a dictatorship. "Because I said so" was a completely acceptable and final answer. "Because I'm the parent" ended all arguments. "Wait till your father/mother gets home" or a very "STERN LOOK" was all you needed to get your act together.
6 How often did you complain that you were bored?
ALL THE TIME but that doesn't mean I was
7 How many hours did you watch TV and/or use thecomputer?
when I was a kid...3-4 hours a night more on weekends and vacations from school
8 Did you do your best at school work or were you lazy?
LAZY!!!!
9 What has changed since you were a young child?
EVERYTHING
10 Would you rather grow up in today's world or areyou happy you grew up when you did?
When I did
Would you do anything differently?
nope...what I went through made me what I am today...for better or for worse
I didn't qualify for the next set of questions so I just deleted it from my response, enjoy and I hope this helps
(ps when you said kid/child I took that meant before being a teenager so all my answers are from the earliest I can remember to about 12ish years old, I hope that's what you meant, if not, then resend the questions)
Jose
You can skip the firstone.
1. How old are you? Are you a boy or girl?
33 boy(although I think male is more appropriate)
2. Number these items with a number 1, 2, or 3. Thenumber 1 means it is really important to you, thenumber 2 means it is sort of important, the number 3means it is not important at all to you. There are noright or wrong answers.
_3___ Watching TV
_1___ My parentsand family
_2___ Using the computer
_1___ My friends
_1___ Telling the truth
_3___ Video games
_2___ Money
_1___ Schooland learning
_1___ Reading books
_2___ My health
_3___ Junk food
_2___ Music
3. What was your favorite thing to do as a kid?
pretend to be anybody but me
Why?
cuz that's what i did for fun. pretend to be stronger faster braver smarter, because those were the things that all kids want to be
4. Who was your favorite person, TV character, singer,band, or cartoon character? How come?
fave person-MOM cuz that's all I had
TV Character-Superman cuz I thought it would be so cool to fly away
singer-Donny Osmond cuz he was just cool
band-?? as a kid I really didn't listen to music, well not until I was almost 13
cartoon character-Aquaman cuz he was a king, he could swim, and talk to fishes
5. Did you normally eat dinner with your family?
NO
6. Was the TV on while you were eating dinner? Did youeat in front of the TV or at the dinner table?
YES tv was on and the DINNER TABLE was IN FRONT OF THE TV
7. Did your family play games or watch moviestogether?
NO
8. Did you go to church or Sunday school?
Yes but only because I had to go to church thru school, but no to sunday services
Think back to when you were a kid and answer these questions. If you weren't raised by your parents please specify who raised you.
1 What is your gender, age?
male 33
2 Did you respect your parents?
YES
3 How were you diciplined?
corpral punishment/time outs (except back than we called it sitting in a corner)
Did it work?
only till I got old enough to take the spankings and the corner treatment better
4 Did you have family activities? What were they?
no and N/A
5 Do you think being a parent is easier today than itwas 20 years ago?
NO
Why?
The resposnibilities and "threats" have changed. Before when diciplining a child was the act of a parent and the community, now is cause for mental and physical anguish. 20 years ago the community watched out for kids who were out running errands, where now most children are the victims of "oh look at that poor kid, WHERE are their parents?" 20 years ago children and parents took responsibility for their actions, where nowadays, its ADD, peer pressure, running with the wrong crowd, the fault of music, the fault of working parents not being home, the fault of video games/tv/movies/celebrities, it's a chemical imbalance, the parents don't give enough structure, they give too much structure, the schools/teachers don't care enough/too much, "stay out of it, we'll raise our child we don't need you telling us how", we were never told we could/couldn't do that. Back thanrespect for everyone was ingrained because that's what was acceptable behavior. We as kids didn't have any rights. We were allowed to be kids, and as kids we were all part of a dictatorship. "Because I said so" was a completely acceptable and final answer. "Because I'm the parent" ended all arguments. "Wait till your father/mother gets home" or a very "STERN LOOK" was all you needed to get your act together.
6 How often did you complain that you were bored?
ALL THE TIME but that doesn't mean I was
7 How many hours did you watch TV and/or use thecomputer?
when I was a kid...3-4 hours a night more on weekends and vacations from school
8 Did you do your best at school work or were you lazy?
LAZY!!!!
9 What has changed since you were a young child?
EVERYTHING
10 Would you rather grow up in today's world or areyou happy you grew up when you did?
When I did
Would you do anything differently?
nope...what I went through made me what I am today...for better or for worse
I didn't qualify for the next set of questions so I just deleted it from my response, enjoy and I hope this helps
(ps when you said kid/child I took that meant before being a teenager so all my answers are from the earliest I can remember to about 12ish years old, I hope that's what you meant, if not, then resend the questions)
Jose
DANA REEVE 1961-2006
"Dana will always be remembered for her passion, strength and ceaseless courage that became her hallmark. Along with her husband Christopher, she faced adversity with grace and determination, bringing hope to millions around the world.
"In addition to being a wonderful mother, actress, singer, author, motivational speaker and advocate, she was a founding board member of the Christopher Reeve Foundation and succeeded her late husband, Christopher Reeve, as chair in 2004. Ms. Reeve established the Foundation's Quality of Life initiatives: the Quality of Life grants program and the Christopher & Dana Reeve Paralysis Resource Center. Since its inception in 1999, the Quality of Life grants program has awarded more than $8 million to support programs and projects that improve the daily lives of people living with paralysis."
"After Christopher's death, Dana was determined to preserve the important work and the legacy of hope that became his life's mission. Even in our grief, the Foundation must pick up and continue to Go Forward with this mission. At the same time, we commit ourselves to ensuring that the light of grace, courage and hopefulness that Dana embodied continues to shine bright - bringing comfort and hope to people living with paralysis and their families and caregivers.
"Dana's courage and conviction leave us all with an abiding faith in every person's ability to make an important difference. We GO FORWARD because it is the responsibility of everyone touched by this remarkable woman to carry on the work of the Foundation."
Ms. Reeve also served on the boards of The Williamstown Theatre Festival, The Shakespeare Theatre of New Jersey, TechHealth, and The Reeve-Irvine Center for Spinal Cord Research and as an advisory board member to the National Family Caregivers Association.
She received numerous awards for her work, most notably the Shining Example Award from Proctor & Gamble in 1998, an American Image Award from the AAFA in 2003, and, the American Cancer Society named her Mother of the Year in 2005. Her book, Care Packages, was published by Random House.
Reeve is survived by her father, Dr. Charles Morosini, sisters Deborah Morosini and Adrienne Morosini Heilman, her son Will and two stepchildren, Matthew and Alexandra. The family has requested privacy during this difficult time.At this time, no plans for a funeral have been announced. For those who care to do so, donations may be made in Dana's memory to the Christopher Reeve Foundation, 636 Morris Turnpike, Short Hills, New Jersey 07078 or online at www.ChristopherReeve.org
That was borrowed from the Christopher Reeve Foundation, and I guess now it's my turn to say something. On October 10, 2004, the world lost a hero. On that day a Superman passed away, and the world became a little more empty. Well the world has become even more empty. This world has lost another hero. Dana Reeve has passed away. I guess, this world had a beacon that was shining to bright. I guess there was a woman with too much strength in this world. I guess there was still a person who inspired too much hope. I say this because why else would we lose such a good person. I mourn the passing of a person I never met. I mourn the man and woman...no that's not true. I still mourn a Superman and now I mourn a Superwoman too. This world keeps getting darker, but at least there have been two people who have inspired this one person. I may never be as strong or as bright but I can try. I guess that's all I can do.
Jose
"In addition to being a wonderful mother, actress, singer, author, motivational speaker and advocate, she was a founding board member of the Christopher Reeve Foundation and succeeded her late husband, Christopher Reeve, as chair in 2004. Ms. Reeve established the Foundation's Quality of Life initiatives: the Quality of Life grants program and the Christopher & Dana Reeve Paralysis Resource Center. Since its inception in 1999, the Quality of Life grants program has awarded more than $8 million to support programs and projects that improve the daily lives of people living with paralysis."
"After Christopher's death, Dana was determined to preserve the important work and the legacy of hope that became his life's mission. Even in our grief, the Foundation must pick up and continue to Go Forward with this mission. At the same time, we commit ourselves to ensuring that the light of grace, courage and hopefulness that Dana embodied continues to shine bright - bringing comfort and hope to people living with paralysis and their families and caregivers.
"Dana's courage and conviction leave us all with an abiding faith in every person's ability to make an important difference. We GO FORWARD because it is the responsibility of everyone touched by this remarkable woman to carry on the work of the Foundation."
Ms. Reeve also served on the boards of The Williamstown Theatre Festival, The Shakespeare Theatre of New Jersey, TechHealth, and The Reeve-Irvine Center for Spinal Cord Research and as an advisory board member to the National Family Caregivers Association.
She received numerous awards for her work, most notably the Shining Example Award from Proctor & Gamble in 1998, an American Image Award from the AAFA in 2003, and, the American Cancer Society named her Mother of the Year in 2005. Her book, Care Packages, was published by Random House.
Reeve is survived by her father, Dr. Charles Morosini, sisters Deborah Morosini and Adrienne Morosini Heilman, her son Will and two stepchildren, Matthew and Alexandra. The family has requested privacy during this difficult time.At this time, no plans for a funeral have been announced. For those who care to do so, donations may be made in Dana's memory to the Christopher Reeve Foundation, 636 Morris Turnpike, Short Hills, New Jersey 07078 or online at www.ChristopherReeve.org
That was borrowed from the Christopher Reeve Foundation, and I guess now it's my turn to say something. On October 10, 2004, the world lost a hero. On that day a Superman passed away, and the world became a little more empty. Well the world has become even more empty. This world has lost another hero. Dana Reeve has passed away. I guess, this world had a beacon that was shining to bright. I guess there was a woman with too much strength in this world. I guess there was still a person who inspired too much hope. I say this because why else would we lose such a good person. I mourn the passing of a person I never met. I mourn the man and woman...no that's not true. I still mourn a Superman and now I mourn a Superwoman too. This world keeps getting darker, but at least there have been two people who have inspired this one person. I may never be as strong or as bright but I can try. I guess that's all I can do.
Jose
3/07/2006
BOREDOM AND IRONY
You know just for shits and giggles...well actually, just wasting some time before Season calls me, I decided to do a "Confessional blogs" search on Google. You know, just to see if my waste of space showed up...it did. I know I did this before, but like I said I was bored...and a little curious. NO you feinds, not about that, just curious to where exactly I show up. You know page, next to what...that kind of thing.
Well it was on the 11th page that my lil waste of space reared it's little prairie dog head. BUt the thing that killed me was this, and I'm showing you:
the confessional blogs4Godblogs4God. A semi-definitive list of Christians who blog. ... the confessional. anglo-catholic quaker scratchings. URL. XML feed ...
www.blogs4god.com/aggregator/sources/907 - 62k - Cached - Similar pages
confessionsofacerealeater.blog-city.comThe Confessional. just my way of cleansing mind body and soul with words, ... It includes this blog. It's like a dvd with the special features. ...
confessionsofacerealeater.blog-city.com/ - 42k - Cached - Similar pages
Google Groups : Confessional Lutheran Bloggers Conference Another step in my sinister plan for confessional Lutheran blogging dominance involves a separate blog with aggregator. TK, as a member of the MOB ...
groups.google.com/group/CLBC - 41k - Cached - Similar pages
I'm in between GOD BLOGS?!?!?!?! You know this reminds me of the old Sesame Street song....
one of these things is not like the others....
just thought I'd share is all.
Jose
Well it was on the 11th page that my lil waste of space reared it's little prairie dog head. BUt the thing that killed me was this, and I'm showing you:
the confessional blogs4Godblogs4God. A semi-definitive list of Christians who blog. ... the confessional. anglo-catholic quaker scratchings. URL. XML feed ...
www.blogs4god.com/aggregator/sources/907 - 62k - Cached - Similar pages
confessionsofacerealeater.blog-city.comThe Confessional. just my way of cleansing mind body and soul with words, ... It includes this blog. It's like a dvd with the special features. ...
confessionsofacerealeater.blog-city.com/ - 42k - Cached - Similar pages
Google Groups : Confessional Lutheran Bloggers Conference Another step in my sinister plan for confessional Lutheran blogging dominance involves a separate blog with aggregator. TK, as a member of the MOB ...
groups.google.com/group/CLBC - 41k - Cached - Similar pages
I'm in between GOD BLOGS?!?!?!?! You know this reminds me of the old Sesame Street song....
one of these things is not like the others....
just thought I'd share is all.
Jose
DAILY OBSERVATIONS
A few weeks back Season and I were driving and we saw this truck with a web addy on it. It cracked us up so muh that we looked it up. Iplanned on adding it back than, but I forgot...till today when I saw the truck again. So here you have (and I shit you not)
LandscapeGod.com
and well, he really does some really good work. Can I get an AMEN??
Jose
LandscapeGod.com
and well, he really does some really good work. Can I get an AMEN??
Jose
Dr. Who's Tom Baker tells Jokes
A place where Dr Who geeks can play called Tom Baker Says...this one has him telling jokes...You really gotta listen to bang thud. So enjoy this brainless waste of time.
Jose
Jose
WELCOME
I, like many people, don't handle loss very well. I have given up many things and many friendships in my life. But to lose them, is a whole different untamed animal. I don't like the way the "bites hurt". I know I'm not the only one. You see, this blog was supposed to be a way for me to release those thoughts and demons that plague me. You know like a cheap invisable therapist. Along with an avenue of venting some very angry thoughts and some stupid laughs. It was supposed to be all those things, but there are some things, that when I do talk about them. Especially on here, well it leaves me feeling very naked, raw and utterly helpless. So sometimes, it takes me a little while to get back in the groove of things. Well the phongraph needle has been placed and the 12 inch vinyl that is my life starts playing again. I don't know who reads (or still reads in some cases) this lil waste of space, but I do know one thing. I'm not done yet. It may be a very tumultuous ride at times, but to half quote Eminem
it's my life, i'd like to welcome y'all to the ... show
so welcome...and don't forget to wipe your feet
Jose
it's my life, i'd like to welcome y'all to the ... show
so welcome...and don't forget to wipe your feet
Jose
2/25/2006
I'M SORRY...BUT IF YOU READ MY PREVIOUS POST...THAN YOU'LL UNDERSTAND
I don't know when I'll be back. I'm taking some time away from blogging. I have other things to take care of. No I'm sorry, I don't have things to take care of...I have a family to take care of.
BBS
Jose
BBS
Jose
BEING STRONG, WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE THE STRENGTH
OK here's a little secret. Season and I were parents...for about 4-5 weeks. That ended this morning around 8 am. It ended and I couldn't be sad or weak, not this time. I had to be there for Season, who was taking it really hard. So I had to swallow down a lot of pain and an extreme sense of loss. I didn't know I could feel that abyss of emptiness, and I almost ran to a graveyard of empty bottles again. I couldn't do that, not this time. You see I have this tendency to run into that graveyard whenever things hurt too much and believe me I was hurting. If I had done that, first of all, what kind of a partner/soon to be husband would I be if I left her to deal with alone? Second, what kind of father would do that? I didn't want to be that person, not anymore. Right now I'm having a couple of drinks, only because I wouldn't be able to say any of this without it. It's been a long day. Season called me this morning to bring her meds and girly armor, and bring them out to her work. When I got there she was barely holding on, and so was I. I guess I've always wanted a child of my own, from me and of me. I wanted it with EX1, but I never really felt this kind of emptiness when it didn't happen with her. Oddly, I didn't want it with EX2, but with Season, it truly felt beautiful and like it was truly meant to be. On Wednesday I emailed my friend Bev and told her what was going on, and I wish I hadn't. Because 2 days later everything has changed. Season is doing good...physically and emotionally, and we'll be setting up an OB-GYN appointment. Because, I want her to be OK. We both lost someone very special today, and I can't bear the thought of something happening to her. I'm sorry that I'm going all over the place today, but that's how the thoughts are coming to me. I mean even before this, we came up with names, that WE BOTH AGREED on. Inara for a girl and Kaelin for a boy. Nope no middle names...yet, but we both figured that those would come in time. I read online that most people, who have miscarriages, usually refer to them as its. Well I won't. Also it's not a miscarriage, until it's between the 12th and 28th week. Sorry for the crude language, but that is so totally fucked!!!! He/she has started to grow. He/she has had a taste of life. He/she did live. He/she passed away. Are we the only 2 people who see this? Does this mean we are going to stop hoping for a family? NO. Does this mean we're going to stop trying? NO. Because up until this, we didn't think it was possible. Now we know it is. Now, we know we have that chance. Our child has given us something we didn't have before. We have hope. Our child showed us that there is something more for us. Our unborn child, gave us a hope for tomorrow. Our unborn child, gave us a gift. That gift was and is a future family. And to never ever shoot for less.
2/23/2006
IN THE MOOD TO WRITE
Ok let's see what happened. On Tuesday I helped my sister with her cleaning job. So I tell her about http://kittenwar.com/ and she tells me that her kitten was on there. http://kittenwar.com/kittens/56468/, that's her kitten. So she tells me she's been avoiding her dad (that would be my stepdad...for now). Which in turns explains why he's been calling me so often now. So on Wednesday (and why is it pronounced wensday?), I had breakfast with stepdad, and we talk and talk and talk. Mainly about bullshit because he won't say anything of true substance. So now it's Thursday and stepdad calls me again, this time to tell me that I can have a bookshelf. Since Season and I have been trying to consolidate 2 households, our "libraries" have grown. Books, cd's and movies, so we need as many shelving units as we can get. Now because of the whole divorce thing going on, stepdad gets a little wonky. So having the occasional breakfast keps him from getting too stupid. So I tell my mom this. She basically says as long as it keeps him of her back she really doesn't care. Which in translation means I can't believe you're making time for him and you aren't for me. So basically I give up when it comes to staying out of the whole divorce thing. I am telling them both what they should do, only because I'm tired of being put in the middle of it, so instead I'm doing what I can to end the whole mess...because than the extreme amounts of bullshit and backstabbing will come to an end, and I can get on with my own life.
Jose
Jose
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