It's Oh So Quiet by Bjork

30 QUESTIONS or how to be a lazy blogger

Current mood: hungry

1. Ever kissed a blonde haired, blue eyed person?

yes

2. Can you see a phone right now?

yes

3. What are you listening to?

the rain

4. Where is it coming from?

the sky

5. Last thing you ate?

a roll

6. What was the last thing you saw on TV?

the cable box and the remote

7. Who was the last person other than family you saw?

the greeter at wal-mart

8. Song stuck in your head?

none

9. Last movie you went to?

Ghost Rider

10. Do you have a tan right now?

I'm MEXICAN, you tell me

11. Do you dance while getting ready for... whatever?

Nope

12. What are you wearing?

A tee shirt

13. What is the most people you've been in front of?

I don't know I was in line at a convention and I was 3rd in line to get in when the doors opened, and there were a lot of people behind me

14. Have you ever watched the show RockStar?

Nope

15. Have you ever taken a bath/shower while you were drunk or high?

Yes I have

16. Do you like techno?

No not really

18. What is one country you want to go to?

Ireland

19. Have you ever made out on a plane?

Nope, not yet

20. Have you ever jumped up on stage when a band was playing?

Yes, I was singing for the band at the time

21. Do you have leadership skills?

No not really

22. Are you musically inclined?

No not really

23. Have you ever sat on a roof and looked at stars?

Yes sir I have

24. Ever done that while talking on the phone to a girlfriend/boyfriend?

Yes sir I have

25. Does the song Stairway To Heaven make you sad?

Yes...only because it lasts for frikken ever

26. Do you have alcohol in your room?

nope

27. Who was the last person to make you laugh?

My wife

28. Do you have any instruments in your room?

Yes yes I do, but Season doesn't want me to tell you what they are

29. Are you available?

Depends what for

30. I say SHOTGUN, you say:

DUCK!!!!!!!

Currently listening : The Great Rock ’n’ Roll Swindle By The Sex Pistols Release date: 15 July, 1999

A TALE OF TWO 2

Current mood: sleepy

QUOTE OF THE DAY:
“If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.”
Jack Handy

1. A few years ago, I worked at a boys home. We full-timers had the pleasure of participating in a staff meeting every week. Once a month, we would have staff meetings off-grounds (meaning the boss would take us out for lunch). At the time there was 6 full-timers and 5 part-timers. The part-timers would have the joy of reading the minutes of such meetings when they came in for their shifts. Let me explain the "crew":

• a former "sheriff"
• a "tough guy"
• a former "car salesman"
• the "boss man"
• the "old timer"
• and me

We had all gone out to a place for burgers, and the few of us that didn't have to work that day/night had a couple of beers. Yay for me and sheriff, too bad so sad for the rest. So as we sat there talking about ways to improve communication, our friendly neighborhood waitress came and took our orders. Since the boss man was paying for the grub, everyone ordered the biggest baddest burgers this joint had. Well, old timer was, to put it as delicately as possible, a major slob. He emanated odors that are indescribable. He picked his nose in full view of all, than casually wiped them on his pants. The kind of person one brings home to mother, if you catch my drift. We are all sitting there discussing work and work issues, when the food arrives.

I happened to glance around the table, lo and behold a wonder of wonders was happening before my eyes. Old timer was playing with a zit. A monstrous white head, about the size of a sharpie marker tip. Yes, needless to say, I am completely grossed out by this act. But my friends and cohorts, this story is not yet over.

I see thumb and pointer finger zero in on said whitehead.

My eyes begin to widen.

Thumb and pointer finger arrive at target and proceed to pinch the target.

I think to myself, "oh no he wouldn't".

Thumb and pointer finger meet with target. Whitehead disappears. No evidence is left behind. The thumb and pointer finger come away from said action unscathed.

Then the true horror of what just transpired hits me like a two ton heavy thing. The food has just been brought out, no one has touched their meals yet. They were all placed in front of old timer. Popped zit residue, has gone somewhere, yet current where abouts unknown.

Gag factor strikes like a Mike Tyson uppercut.

I am no longer hungry.

I look at sheriff, and he is white.

I look around the table, no one else has witnessed the "atrocity."

I casually grab my food, walk to the waitress, explain what has happened, sheriff looks over at me, eyes pleading, I ask if it would be okay to have new burgers and fries made for me and sheriff, she responds with a no problem, grabs my food, walks over to the table, grabs sheriffs food, explains that she grabbed the wrong burgers, asks the rest of the table if everybody got the right food, everyone says yes, she blanches and then she leaves to prepare another couple of burgers, and makes them to go. To this day, I don't want to know where the phantom pimple juice went. I am okay without that information.

2. Last weekend, my wife and I decided we were to lazy to cook. We went to McD's for it's mysterious meat chicken nuggets, the fries that don't age and the extra big yet cheaper than their other size sodas. One of the female workers was telling a tale, much like I am doing right now. Than from out of nowhere my wife and I hear this comment...

"The hose was to big for my hole! Can you believe that?" Giggling ensues.

I am stifling my laughter, my wife looks like she's having miniature seizures...and another customer looks over at us...and asks,

"Did that sound funny to anyone else?"

We lose it. Laughter erupts from me. It comes out of my wife like a runaway freight train. The customer is chortling. The worker and her friend are looking at us, like we all gone crazy. So I calm down, walk over to her, and proceed to explain, what has driven us off edge of Mt. Uncontrolled Laughter. Her face turns beet red. She says "OMG I WAS TALKING ABOUT THE DIESEL HOSES AT GAS STATIONS. I ALMOST PUT IN THE WRONG KIND OF GAS IN MY NEW CAR!!"

Which, of course, erupts in a brand new family friendly wave of laughter.

Aftewards we received our food, said thank you for the laugh, and went home (all teary eyed, gut busted, too much laughing headache and a better appreciation as to how the powers that be try to "stupid proof" the world.)

Currently listening : Sonic Temple By The Cult Release date: 07 March, 2000

UPDATE short entry

Fevered dreams, phlegm encased coughs, aches, pains and overall sickness are a few of my least favorite things. That has been my week so far. When on Einstien's grave will they cure the common cold. Just wanted to share.

RANDOM THOUGHTS with no spell/grammar checking

Current mood: awake

QUOTE OF THE DAY:
I have no riches but my thoughts. Yet these are wealth enough for me.
Sara Teasdale

Hello one and all, I can't sleep. So I'm going to take a walk through my waste of grey matter and bring you all along.

Why are parks so empty these days? I remember when they were full of families and children.

Why does every child have to make the sports team? Wasn't there a time when not making the team just made you work harder to IMPROVE your skills so you would make it the next year.

Remember back, when police officers were respected?

Does anyone have any hope for the upcoming presidential elections?

OK...this one's a bit lengthy
family values is defined as the moral and ethical principles traditionally upheld and transmitted within a family, as honesty, loyalty, industry, and faith.

Family is defined as
1. parents and their children, considered as a group, whether dwelling together or not.
2. the children of one person or one couple collectively.
3. the spouse and children of one person.
4. any group of persons closely related by blood, as parents, children, uncles, aunts, and cousins.
5. all those persons considered as descendants of a common progenitor.
6. Chiefly British. approved lineage, esp. noble, titled, famous, or wealthy ancestry.
7. a group of persons who form a household under one head, including parents, children, and servants.
8. the staff, or body of assistants, of an official.
9. a group of related things or people.
10. a group of people who are generally not blood relations but who share common attitudes, interests, or goals and, frequently, live together.
11. a group of products or product models made by the same manufacturer or producer.
12. Biology. the usual major subdivision of an order or suborder in the classification of plants, animals, fungi, etc., usually consisting of several genera.
13. Slang. a unit of the Mafia or Cosa Nostra operating in one area under a local leader.
14. Linguistics. the largest category into which languages related by common origin can be classified with certainty: Indo-European, Sino-Tibetan, and Austronesian are the most widely spoken families of languages. Compare stock (def. 12), subfamily (def. 2).
15. Mathematics.
a. a given class of solutions of the same basic equation, differing from one another only by the different values assigned to the constants in the equation.
b. a class of functions or the like defined by an expression containing a parameter.
c. a set.

and values means beliefs of a person or social group in which they have an emotional investment (either for or against something)

Yet none of them say it must be a man AND a woman...so in truth any loving cohesive group would have family values, so why is society so afraid of gay couple raising children?

Also why is society so afraid of gay marriage?

Why do playgrounds have that foamy/spongy stuff? If you're not afraid of getting hurt, doesn't that make you more reckless? I recall playing on blacktop and concrete playgrounds. Sure there were bruises, sprains, scrapes, blood and the occasional broken this or that. All that did was teach us to be more careful the next time around. It caused us to learn from our and our friends mistakes.

One of our city parks (along the Fox River) use to have a stream, a little waterfall, a small "wading well" and a pond. But they all got filled in and/or covered up because of liability issues. Meaning parents weren't paying attention to their kids and they got hurt. So why is this the city's fault? Why were they liable for some parent/guardian's laziness?

Here's an ironic tale for you all. My wife works with a weight watcher, calorie counter, over exerciser, fashionista of a girl, who went shopping and complained that the only "cute outfits" were in the "big" sizes. She was upset because "they didn't make them in normal sizes."

My theory is that girls don't date nice guys because nice guys treat girls the way they want to be treated "in the future." But "right now" they want the fun and adventure of the bad boy. That's just my theory though.

Is anyone else sick of hearing how stupid celebrities are?

If cigarettes and cigarette smoke are so dangerous, why are they still legal? And if tobacco farmers have a bad crop why are compensated?

Why are we trying to save the earth? The earth was around before us, and it will be around after us...that is until our sun goes super nova. All we are doing is making the earth uninhabitable for us. We're not saving the planet, we're trying to save humans, and looking at us all...is that such a good thing?

Is it me, or have we forgotten what it is like to live in a community?

If our children being over weight is such an issue...why are parents buying them video games, TVs, DVD players, and their own personal computers? Why do they feed them fast food, give them soda, candy and all that other crap that isn't good for them. Yet, they don't insist that they go outside and "play?"

umm...i think that's all for now...I'm going to try and sleep again.

Currently listening : Reba McEntire - Greatest Hits Volume III: I’m A Survivor By Reba McEntire Release date: 23 October, 2001

ROOFTOPS - LOST PROPHETS

THE NEW GODS a very brief blog

Current mood: contemplative

On this day, I have spent time worshipping the new gods.

The gods of television, to whom my greatest sacrifice is time.

The gods of radio, with whom I rejoice and sing along with.

The gods of malls and shopping centers, where I have and will congregate again.

The gods of the internet with whom I spread the word, to all.

The gods of commerce, to whom I give tithings to, freely and often.

The gods of industry, where I spend 40 hours a week in thought and reflection.

It's a sad day when, I have the time to sit here and think of these things. Maybe I should stop reading Neil Gaiman's American Gods, and go with something a little on the lighter side.

Currently listening : Spread Eagle (Reissue) By Spread Eagle Release date: 01 August, 2006

THE WEEK I LOST MY LAUGH part 5

Current mood: calm


QUOTE OF THE DAY:
“Try as much as possible to be wholly alive, with all your might, and when you laugh, laugh like hell and when you get angry, get good and angry. Try to be alive. You will be dead soon enough.”
William Saroyan

THE WEEK I LOST MY LAUGH part 1
THE WEEK I LOST MY LAUGH part 2
THE WEEK I LOST MY LAUGH part 3
THE WEEK I LOST MY LAUGH part 4


I guess I am not a very good listener. As I head towards our destination, my aunt is trying to direct me. I've pretty much had it with everyone else's crappy directions. I know how to get there, and by all that is good and holy, I will do it without interference.

I'm only thinking 2 things at this time.
1. My little conscience (who shall be named SPEW from this day forward) is singing "Tra la la, la la la la, Tra la la, la la la la".
2. I will get us there.

I lived in the area for a few years, so I know how to get around pretty well. I hear a faint echo telling me to turn here (SPEW chimes in with one banana 2 banana 3 banana 4).

If I would have had a thought bubble it would have said 'Why am I going to turn here when it's 5 minutes up the road and then a left turn for about 3 minutes. The way I am being directed would take me 15 minutes out of the way.'

"Are you listening to my directions?" is asked of me.

Now the second line SPEW 'Four bananas make a bunch and so do many more.'

Nine minutes later we arrive.

My aunt questions, "Where are we?"

I point to this really big church right next to her.

"Oh."

I'll take this as a victory.

We walk into the basement of the church. There's a bunch of tables set up, some food prepared and the din of dialogue.

We look for a place to sit and eat. One table was pretty empty, so we sat there. We ended up sitting with my godfathers wife.

She's a very entertaining, inviting and warm individual. She occupies the awkward silences with silly and delightful tales. She honestly cares what you have to say and listens with a passion. She makes you feel very special, like you really do matter. In the near future I plan on visiting her, when there not so many raw and fresh emotions and wounds.

This is all I wanted to do since 8 A.M. this morning. Sit down and talk with someone who knew my godfather.

Sadly this, like all good things, must eventually come to an end. And it does.

A cousin of my mother, starts talking to me.

SPEW says 'She's seems like an uppity bitch.'

I respond to her questions in my very broken Spanish. I don't use it very often, and when I do, it's usually to order food. She proceeds to criticize me for apparent lack of "Mexican-ess." She tells me I should practice it more, because it will help me at my job and with my work. So I explain to her, with an assist from this girl who was sitting next to me, that I work with people who only speak English, and bad English at that.

Well OK some of them speak bible, but I just usually ignore those conversations.

But because of her attitude, a little bit of resentment was growing. Which, by the way SPEW will translate:

"Jose is not going to censor much of what he is going to say!"

So I immediately follow it up with "besides we live in America where the main language is English."

SNUB number 1. Only 2 batters left.

She then asks me what I do. I tell her. She looks wholly unimpressed.

SNUB number 2. This looks like it's going to be a shut out.

She notices my wedding band and asks if I am married. I say yes.

"To a Mexican girl?"

"Nope, she's American."

SNUB number 3.

Game over.

I'm outta there.

She then turns away, literally turns and sits sideways, and proceeds to engage in conversation with the woman who is sitting next to her.

SPEW was correct.

She was an uppity bitch.

We end up leaving a few minutes later.

I drop everyone off and I go home.

Wednesday is a pretty rough day at work for me. I keep to myself, and just focus on the work.

Thursday is actually even rougher on me. Until my boss calls us all over for a "talk."

This isn't a work related talk. There are times when the boss man just want to talk. He tells us all funny stories, jokes, talks about movies, hunting, personal beefs with the world and about his late wife. At one point when one of the guys is sharing something, he leans over and tells me very softly "It's OK to laugh, it helps the healing."

And I did.

And it did.

I had found my laugh.

Again.

THE END

Currently listening : Animals with Human Intelligence By Enuff Z’Nuff Release date: 03 October, 2000

THE WEEK I LOST MY LAUGH part 4

Current mood: calm

QUOTE OF THE DAY:
"Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on."
Bob Newhart

THE WEEK I LOST MY LAUGH part 1
THE WEEK I LOST MY LAUGH part 2
THE WEEK I LOST MY LAUGH part 3


So now it's Tuesday morning, and I'm at my mother's house. I woke up on time and arrived before 9 A.M. I didn't want to be "late" you know. Well she's still getting ready and we finally head out the door around 9:30. We do the usual chit chat as I drive to the funeral home. I'm in no hurry. I planned it so we wouldn't have to rush. After the day before, I didn't want to be walking in at the last minute, AGAIN. I realize that it's getting quite toasty outside. I drive past a bank and the temperature says 85 degrees. Great. This is the perfect kind of day to wear dark colors. We roll in to our destination. 10 A.M. On the dot. Absolutely perfect. This means I may have a few minutes to speak with my godfather's family. Only two little problems.

First problem:

As I start to look around for the funeral home, my mother's cell phone rings. It's one of my aunt's asking if we could come and pick her up. My mother says yes, and promptly hangs up.

Second problem:

There's no funeral home here.

Strip mall? Check. Grocery store? Affirmative. Check Cashing place? That's a big 10/4. Funeral home? No sir, that particular establishment is AWOL.

We discuss the directions, and we both agree that we were told the same thing. OK, so it's not operator error. My mother calls my aunt back and asks her what the directions were. Her information collated with ours. So my mother tells my aunt that we're on our way to pick her up, and maybe between the 3 of us we can figure out what's going on.

My mother asks me if we will have enough time.

I look at my mother and I tell her maybe. That on a good day, I can make round trip drive in 45 minutes. But since you already told her we are on our way, I don't have much choice.

So I proceed back towards Waukesha from the North side of Milwaukee.

This was NOT a good day.

It took us 1 hour and 15 minutes.

During the trip BACK to Milwaukee, I ask them if they can call anybody to find out precisely where we are supposed to go.

They say no.

NO!?!?

It obviously never occurred to either of them to get information, like cell phone numbers, "just in case." I'm starting to get livid, and suddenly I erupt with laughter, and I can't stop. My mother and aunt are getting angry with me because I shouldn't be laughing on the way to a funeral home. The irony of this situation is that we don't even know where the funeral home or the cemetery is, they can't call anybody to ask where it is and they are getting upset with me for laughing. So the giggle loop increases ten fold.

So we arrive back at the original intersection, where the funeral home is supposed to be, and suddenly I get a brain storm.

I start to drive east. 10 blocks east to be precise.

Without warning, my mother and aunt are telling me to stop. That we were told it was at that intersection, and we should wait there. I continue driving and out of the blue, there is a procession of cars immediately to my left. I see the funeral home up ahead. I turn around in their parking lot and break a few laws. All this in an attempt to catch up to the procession.

Needless to say my mother and aunt are just getting more and more irate, because I'm not listening to them. They haven't even noticed that we just turned around in the funeral home's parking lot, or the big line of cars that are about 2-3 blocks ahead of us. I guess I should tell you all that I am still laughing at this point in time.

I finally catch up to the last car, slow down and just point out the windshield.

My mother and aunt look, and silence follows.

Except for my chuckling, which is finally tapering off.

So, thanks to blind luck, a late start, many mourners and my gut instinct, we got there just in time...AGAIN.

It was a very moving service. Tears were shed. A mariachi band played (I shit you not). The men of the family were having their fermented beverages. Everybody was sweating like a priest at a boy scout jamboree. The temperature hit 97 degrees. 80 percent of the people there were wearing black (I personally did not know that shirts with the words "roca wear" or "Carolina panthers" was appropriate funeral clothing, but what do I know. I mean the last time I paid attention to fashion, spandex, cut t-shirts and aqua net was still popular).

So there we all stood. Some people were telling stories, others were taking/giving comfort and support and my mother was introducing me to the people who she missed the day before. WOOF WOOF. I wonder if I'm AKC approved.

All I wanted to do, was get a chance to talk to his family and ask them what kind of person he was. This was not to be. Not on this day.

It's now 2 P.M. We have been standing outside since roughly 11:40 or so. I ask the person closest to me, what's going to happen now. He tells me that we are all getting together at the church, from the day before. I say OK, sounds like a plan. I tell my mother this bit of news. She tells me that she already knew that.

Well, not like it would be important to the person driving your car to know where we are headed or what we are doing, but again, what do I know? As I'm counting under my breath to cool down (I was up to about 32-33) everybody started walking to their respective vehicles. I herd my passengers to our automobile. We were one the last cars parked and since mother and aunt are behind me a few yards, I decided to have a quick cigarette.

Apparently this was one of my worst offenses today, because they both gawked at me like I just pissed on the Virgin Mary. I simply said "Well, at least I'm not drinking and driving like half of the guys up there."

Again, silence followed.

So since I knew where the church was, and how to get there, I started driving. I mentioned we needed gas and promptly found a fueling station. I'm still so incredibly pissed at these 2 women. How dare they judge me. How dare they think I was being disrespectful. I didn't know 99% of these people. They did. They could very easily gotten any kind of information they needed, if they just asked. I'm just seething.

Then by the grace of god and good fortune, a wee little lady starts talking to me. I was keeping an eye on her, because she was kind of running around the gas pumps. Luckily no cars pulled in. A little giggle, an innocent question and a gap toothed grin, and suddenly...no more anger. I was at peace again.

END OF PART 4

Currently listening : The Return of Bruno By Bruce Willis Release date: 18 March, 1997

THE WEEK I LOST MY LAUGH part 3

Current mood: sad


QUOTE OF THE DAY:
Perhaps I know best why it is man alone who laughs; he alone suffers so deeply that he had to invent laughter.
Friedrich Nietzsche



THE WEEK I LOST MY LAUGH part 1
THE WEEK I LOST MY LAUGH part 2



"I thought you were going to be late."

"Mother, yes we all know that I am not the most punctual person on this blue planet, but if it's something important, I'm NEVER late." Was my response.

"So where are we headed?"

"To your Tia's house to get the directions."

"OK, from there I'll drive, cool?"

"Si Mijo, that would be a good idea."

We get to my aunts house, and we get the directions. Which were vague and wrong, but I didn't know that at the time. Soon we were on our way. I drove there with the directions she gave us, and we ended up on the north side of Milwaukee. We drove around for about 30 minutes, trying to find the location, according to the directions we were given, which got us nowhere, except 1/4 tank lower on gas. Finally I thought, SCREW IT, we stopped at a gas station where I asked someone on how to get to the church. With clear and precise directions, we made it there in about 7 minutes. The service was just starting.

On a side note, it really amazes me, when a whole bunch of Mexicans get together, whether for a happy occasion or a sad occasion, they seem to act the exact same way. There were people drinking in front of and in the church. People were lounging out on the stairs like they were at a park. For some reason I find this a tad bit disrespectful. OK, that's the end of this side note.

We find a spot to sit near the back of the church. As I looked around I realized that I know almost nobody here. Then I saw something that floored me.

When I was a lot younger I had an aunt that would babysit for me, and it was cool because my cousin was the same age as me. So we always played together, ate together and watched TV together when ever I was there. I was treated like part of her family. Later, when my step-father got abusive, I could go there and feel safe for a little while. My Tia Luisa, always knew how to make the "monsters" go away. At least for a little while.

She had 5 kids (although I only knew 4).

She was my father's sister.

For the most part, my mom didn't really meet or hang out with my relatives on my fathers side. My Tia Luisa being one of the very very few exceptions. Well she passed away about 10 years ago, and that was pretty much the last time I saw the family.

Well at the church I saw the 3 sisters (my cousins) and asked my mother how they knew my godfather. She tells me that they are brother and sisters.

I tried to wrap my head around that concept. I look at my mom and ask her, "Mother, I have never met him have I?"

She says "Si mijo, at your Tia Luisa's funeral."

I'm supposed to remember meeting someone, at the funeral of my favorite aunt, where I was too busy holding and comforting my cousin, who was in turn holding and comforting me. I mean WHO wouldn't remember meeting a godfather, who up until this moment didn't even exist, when my aunt who was there for me, and treated me like her own child has just passed away. Knowing next time I needed to be with a friendly face when my own life was beating the shit out of me has just passed away, and I'm here to say good-bye. I can't believe I could be so damn insensitive about that. I must be some kind of monster.

Well after that bombshell, I started to become numb.

I was sitting in the pew, waiting for the service to begin, and it was a beautiful service. I learned a little about the man who passed away. And I wished I could have known him a little better.

After the service, I was introduced to his wife and children. Who apparently had heard of me. We exchanged hugs and condolences. I really had no idea what to else say. Here I was at a wake for a man I didn't know, hugging his family, and telling them "How sorry I am for their loss."

Than sadly this is the point the circus started.

I was then paraded around, by my mother, to meet cousins, uncles and aunts, like a damn show dog. She's bragging about all the things I've done (which in reality amounts to a drop of piss in the ocean blue, by the way). I was feeling so uncomfortable and dirty, I almost lost it.

Finally my mom says we should get going.

I breathe a tremendous sigh of relief.

I ask where and at what time is the funeral and I get the directions and the time for that. 11:00 A.M. but be there at 10:30 because the procession starts at 11.

OK, I get that.

I go and drop off my mother, get in my car and proceed to go to work.

I'm there only 2 hours because, guilt and grief have become too much. I feel bad for my cousins who have lost their brother. I feel bad that even though I never truly met him, his family, for some reason, knew who I was. I felt guilty for being part of my mother's "showcase." And mostly I wanted to see my wife, to tell her how much I love her and want her in my life.

I get home and lie down with my soul mate, best friend and partner in life and love. I tell her how much I love her, and I give her a kiss on her forehead.

That's the moment Miss Typhoid Season comes into that realm we call reality and says "What the hell are you doing home?"

I tell her, very simply that at this moment in time, I just needed to be with her.

She smiled.

Closed her eyes.

And started snoring in my face.

I smile at her.

I hold her close.

And proceed to the realm of the sandman myself.

The next morning I wake up, smoke a cigarette, shower, get dressed and head off to pick up my mother.

END OF PART 3

Currently listening : Rio By Duran Duran Release date: 03 July, 2001

THE WEEK I LOST MY LAUGH part 2

QUOTE OF THE DAY:
"I've always thought that a big laugh is a really loud noise from the soul saying, "Ain't that the truth."
Quincy Jones

THE WEEK I LOST MY LAUGH part 1


So my wife and I start talking about what has transpired over the last 8 hours. My thoughts and feelings, if I am OK and is there anything she can do to help. She shares her opinions on what she would do, or what I should have done, it's the usual dialouge we have after an afternoon with my mother.

Season finally asks me, "Are you going to go?"

I said "I don't know, we'll see what happens tomorrow." Still being in a wee bit of shock and confusion.

Sunday rears it's ugly head, and we don't talk about death or taxes. We just try to have a somewhat normal day, sitting at home, waiting for the phone to ring with the information that
will help me make a decision. Waiting and sitting by the phone, for the call my mother promised she'd make. Waiting and waiting.

Morning turns to Noon.

We decide to watch "Wild Hogs" and "The Ultimate Gift" as a distraction to the clock watching experience that we are engaged in.

Actually, they were very good distractions. They helped me laugh and cry. And for 3 1/2 hours all I thought about was 2 movies, and not the fact that I am sitting at home, waiting.

Afterwards, we return said movies to the land of Blockbuster, and spend about 30 seconds
deciding we don't want to get another movie.

Well truth be told, I spent the 7 minute car ride trying to convince my beautiful, yet stubborn wife that getting another movie benefits the economy, which in turn will eventually trickle back down to us (thank you TV for the bits of useless information that when wielded with intelligence, make strong and compelling arguments. But when used by yours truly, just makes me sound like a ass, blockhead, boob, booby, cretin, dimwit, donkey, dork, dumb ox, dumbbell, dunce, dunderhead, fool, halfwit, ignoramus, imbecile, jackass, jerk, kook, meat head, mental defective, moron, nincompoop, ninny, nitwit, pinhead, pointy head, simpleton, stupid, tom fool, twit and yo-yo {yeah they all sounded really good so I used them all}).

We finally arrived at the land of Blockbuster. We walked in. Returned the movies. We exited. We got in the car, and my wife looked at me and said "No we are not renting any more movies today."

"mumble mumble ok mumble mumble" was the best response I could give 'she who must be obeyed.'

We arrived back at home.

Still no phone call.

We ate.

Still no phone call.

Afternoon turned to evening.

Still nothing.

Evening turned to bed and romantic time.

Still no phone call.

Sunday turned to Monday, and as I am oft to do, I slept the day away.

Season came home with a fever and no voice, and laid down with me. And for the first time in quite a while I had a very very good sleep. Sleeping with my wife does that to me. I always sleep better with her in my arms. Sadly, this moment of bliss must come to an end. The alarm clock goes off, to tell me it's time for me to get ready to go to work.

I proceed with my morning rituals (well in my case, my afternoon rituals, but you get my drift) which includes stumbling out of bed, smoking a cigarette, using the bathroom, checking my emails, logging onto my space, wait for Season to call me from her last break, looking at the clock and going "FUCK, I need to get in the shower now!" and then heading out the door with 6 minutes to get to work. Sometimes all that is not possible. Sometimes I wake up and proceed straight to "FUCK, I need to get in the shower now!" and then heading out the door with 6 minutes to get to work. And on many occasions it's simply waking up and heading out the door with 6 minutes to get to work. I like having a plan with back ups, just in case.

Then the phone rings as I am about to sit down at the porn loader. My wife in the midst of her sickly/just woke up phase answers the phone, says ok, hangs up, tells me the service is in one hour, then proceeds to pass out again. I finish lighting my cigarette, pick up the phone call my mother back, and tell her I'll be over at 4:00. The clock on the cable box says 3:10, I call work, tell them I won't be in, I jump in the shower, shave, wash the body (spending extra time on those problem areas, because I'm going to be in close proximity to many people I don't know) dry off, brush my teeth, do my hair, come upstairs and look for clean clothes that are funeral appropriate.

My wife who has resurfaced into reality again, asks me "What's going on."

I tell her "I am going to the showing."

"Do you want me to come along?"

I looked at my wife, who to me never looked more beautiful, and said "No way Sickly von Infectious-stein, just stay home and get better."

I kissed my wife, and headed out the door. At exactly 4:00 I show up. My mother was already backing out of her parking spot. She sees me, pulling into the driveway, and stops. I park my car, walk over to hers and get in.

END OF PART 2