A Moment Of Silence redux

A Moment Of Silence


Now those of you that actually know me, know that I'm not a pro-military person. But I do have a respect for those that do choose this way of life. Yes, it is a way of life. It takes someone of a special courage, an unbelievable strength of character and a love for their family, home and friends, to join the military. It takes someone who is afraid but won't and didn't let that stand in his or her way. It takes ultimate sacrifice, for those that laid it all on the line, because whether they lived or died, they're the ones who pay the price of freedom. I may never know all of you, but to you all I do say "thank you"! To the families and friends of these courageous individuals, my prayers are with you. To those who never came home... a moment of silence.

CONNECTED TO ANOTHER REALITY

You know I got this great compliment today...well I don't know if it was compliment but I took it as one. You see One of the "lil freaks" i work with said I was pretty weird, just because I made this statement;
"Hey Ray Ray (her name is Rachel) you're here to work work, not play play"
to which she said.."Jose you are pretty weird." Like I said I took that as a compliment, because that meant that she accepts me in her world. I know because I asked her what she meant. She's a unique individual with her own way of looking at life and people. So because she made that simple statement she let me a part of her world. And that's my little hooligans is a great and fantastic compliment.

Jose

I HATE IT HERE...THE END

You know, when I left work today, I was full of piss and vinegar, bile and venom and a wanting to release hate from my finger tips. But that didn't happen. Instead, I started to catch up on this awesome web comic called Venus Envy and after reading it, I realized something. I'm not angry or bitter anymore and the pool of anger and rage that used to boil in my soul, well it just doesn't drive me anymore. I seem to look for the hope and promise of tommorrow instead of the vileness that use to fuel my very essence. I seem to want to feel real emotions of today insted of lingering on the zeals of the past. You see, I learned that some people read this little waste of space, just to be angry at me. And others, read this only to complain that I didn't wait long enough to expose my happiness, and that they would wish I would stop only because me talking about the things and people (aka person) that make me happy doesn't fit into their schedule. Well like I said I was ready to unlesh the hounds of hell and the dogs of war on them, but I didn't. And I probably never will. There is too much happiness and too many great things happening that prevent me from venting and bringing that bitter bastard that started this particular blog back. Well that man has long died. Instead, a new and stronger man stands in his place. A man who wishes that everyone could feel his happiness and bliss. I know that will never happen, because too many people want me to fail. I think that's a sad and very lonely ideal, because I will persevere. I will not lay down again. I will not give up again. Instead I will walk taller. I will shine brighter. You see I can't fail anymore. I may stumble every once in a while, but that is what we mere mortals are supposed to do. But for once I have everything I need. I have hope. I have a very real love in my life. I have my soul. For once, none of it is compromized, for anyone else. Well, that woman is my alter ego, companion, confidante, friend, heart's desire, helpmate, kindred soul, kindred spirit, lover, one's promised, partner and true love is home and we got a few errands to run, so I am cutting this a little bit short, because well it's been a month since we sarted our lives together, and well I still love the time we spend together. So I'm sorry but my Mamey comes first. Until next time...

I'm still

Jose

WELL SLAP MY ASS AND CALL ME SALLY

Hello hello hello, I was bad today. I didn't feel to well so I called in sick to work and I'm still in the safety zone. So basically I hung out with Mamey (that's the nickname for my significant other) till she had to work, am doing laundry, ate ice cream, listened to music and read web comics. A whole crap load of them. I am finally caught up on Scandal Sheet, Something Positive and PVP Online although I am still behind on The Devils Panties but I'm working on it. I mean you can only read 7 months of web comics in a row. So what do I do? I start reading new web comics. Yes this is the part where I slap myself in the forehead and do the "Homer"sexual "DOH!!!" Well both have been around for a while apparently, and one of them was on Mamey's computer favorites thingy. Well the art made me go "WOW" and the story makes me laugh...alot. So while I was there, I decided I would start looking at some of the other comics there and thats how I found web comic number 2. So here you go
Striptease
and
Clan of the Cats
trust me you will enjoy them...a whole lot. Well that was my blog break...must go back to reading comics that started almost6 years ago...I have a lot of catching up to do.

Jose

DEAR CUPID

Dear Cupid,
How are ya? I was just wondering why are you such a complicated little prick? Why did you make it so hard for me to find my other half? I mean you put her almost five hours away and you made it so I couldn't meet her unless a former mutual friend introduced us. Than you made the former mutual friend who than became my girlfriend fight like a christian in the roman amphitheater against a lion to keep us apart. I mean is it so hard to make it a little bit easier? I mean we finally found a way for our paths to merge as one and now we walk as one. But c'mon already. Now I'm making a case for other people, the lonely and the desperate, who need someone too. Let it go, love shouldn't be so hard to come by. Just something for you too look into and hopefully do something about.
Sincerely,

Jose

100 LIST PT2

A few months ago...aka...a while ago, I put up a 100 things you didn't know about me post...well this is kind of a continuation/update of that...
so here we go....

1. I currently live in Rhinelander, WI.
2. That will be changing before this year is up.
3. I have a new person in my life.
4. She actually fills my life with the promise of tomorrow.
5. I hate my current job.
6. Even though it pays the bills.
7. I sold my comic books to move up here.
8. Well, not all of them.
9. I still talk to my ex...not the current ex but the previous ex.
10. It took a year for me to be happy for her.
11. I currently live with my new girlfriend.
12. She's also my best friend.
13. and my partner.
14. And one day she will be wife.
15. Of this I am certain.
16. Currently Type O Negative is playing on the CD player.
17. And my partner is yelling at the cat (well one of the cat's) for her tiny little poop that took 4 flushes to get down the toilet.
18. You gotta love flushable kitty litter.
19. Had McDonald's for dinner.
20. Gawd I hate McDonald's.
21. I was corrected just now because there are 3 cats that rule this household.
22. She is correct.
23. I was wrong.
24. Again.
25. LOL right now my Mamey is reading over my shoulder and telling me to stop correcting everything that she comments on.
26. Now she's laughing and trying to walk away to keep me from changing everything I type.
27. It's not working too well.
28. Now she wants to read "as to not affect what it is I am typing"
29. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
30. Besides being called such things as a Bastard and Brat...I am now being called a "Goober Head".
31. What the hell is a Goober Head?????
32. I have refound my love of MOTLEY CRUE.
33. Thanks to the "Red White and Crue" best of CD.
34. I am in love.
35. She tells me she loves me too.
36. I actually believe her.
37. That is actually quite a fresh of breath air.
38. Yes, that was on purpose.
39. You know I never realized how sexy one of my tank top would be...especially when if you turn fast in either direction...youcan see skin.
40. : )
41. LMAO...right now she's blushing.
42. It's soooooooo cuuuuuute!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
43. Oh oh...now she's trying to hide.
44. That's too bad because she's so beautiful.
45. Sorry was distarcetd for a moment.
46. The typo was her fault.
47. Just a quick fondle.
48. :D
49. I am truly happy.
50. Half way done with this particular list.
51. I mean really really really HAPPY!!!!!!!!
52. I never realized how easily distarcted I could be.
53. She easily distracts me.
54. Totally on purpose.
55. I have a cool bar I hang out in.
56. It's called "longbranch"
57. That's where I found where I am supposed to be.
58. Concrete Blonde's "Bloodletting" is now playing on the CD player (well it's a tape playing in the "boom box")
59. Waiting for mapquest to show us where Longbranch is.
60. God damnit...still waiting.
61. all right I found it...it's now linked up above.
62. Oh yeah I gotta wear glasses now.
63. IT SUX!!!!!
64. Did I mention that glasses truly suck yet??
65. If I didn't, well than ...
66. They are truly the cause of heinousity.
67. Yes I do creat my own words.
68. If you don't like...than you truly are the lowest suckage point that a non-erection can cause.
69. hehehehehehehehe
70. I still love that number.
71. Even more now.
72. That's the year I was born in.
73. This is not the year I was born in.
74. This is the first time I had someone reading over my shoulder as I write on this blog.
75. For once...I don't mind at all.
76. Actually...I kind of like it.
77. WOW look double numbers.
78. Now she's teasing.
79. :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :P
80. It's almost 130 AM
81. WOW!!! I can't ever stop staring at Mamey's butt.
82. She just walked away to turn the tape over.
83. She's blushing again.
84. She does that a lot for some reason.
85. I don't know why.
86. Now she's dancing.
87. :D
88. Damnit...my butt's getting sore from sitting here so long.
89. Oh crap I had an idea...now it went away.
90. Only 10 more things to come up with.
91. Hehehehehehe...I got another idea...but this aint a sexblog so I can't say it here.
92. Hmmmmmm....maybe I could any way.
93. But I won't...
94. This time.
95. You know I had a lot of fun this time with my 100 list.
96. I think I will try to do this every couple of months.
97. Craaap...just had a sneeze attack.
98. FUCK!!!!! I just put the kleenex in my soda.
99. That sucked.
100. Cuz now I am really thirsty....
101. Well I'm not that picky....gulp gulp gulp

STAR WARS EPISODE 3

This was both one of the most tragic and most thought compelling movies in the Star Wars saga. The fall of Anakin and his transformation into Vader, was complete, woeful and almost horrifying. The acting was superb. The visuals were stunning. The story was almost flawless. The action sequences were simply awesome. The fact of the matter is that this is hands down one of the best movies I have ever seen.
It was also one of the hardest movies to watch. It was heartwrenching and despondent. It was a movie about a brokenheart, that wanted to do nothing more than save the loves of his life, and in doing so, sells his soul to the devil to lose everything in the end. It also made me wonder what I would have done in the same situation, and I realized that I would have been one of the fallen too. I would have succumbed to the dark side myself, even though the price of my decision would greatly outweigh the good I wanted to do. But in Anakin's mind, as in mine, it was the right choice. How far would I go to save my loved ones? What price would I pay? What would I do? I don't know anymore.

Jose

DEAR EX-FRIEND

Dear Ex-friend,
How dare you take something as simple as an affirmation of friendship, question others about it and than talk to a person who has no right to know any of this. I considered you a friend and a confidant, but I see all you are is a jezebel who takes pleasure in stoking fires of ill will between people. How dare you take such liberties with MY life in such a manner. If you had any questions or reservations as to what my words meant, it should have been me you came too. Up until this moment I held you in high regard and defended your character from many slanderous statements. No longer will I do that. I can see clearly I did not lose a friend, because a friend would never have done that. All you have done is make my life much simpler, by excluding you from my world and inner circle of trusted individuals who do have my confidence, conviction and credence. Thank you again for your deceitful and insincere ways, for my life shines brighter now that YOU are not in it.

Jose

STAR WARS EPISODE 3

hehehehehehehehe, just getting ready for my SW Episode 3 moment. So I thought I'd go back to the original trilogy to find some things to entertain and I found this instead. The best qutes in my opinion from the 3 who delvered them the best, enjoy and I'll let you know how my Star Warection and I fared after, dare I say it (with a tear in my eye) the last Star Wars movie.

"Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi; you're my only hope." - Princess Leia, A New Hope
"I recognized your foul stench when I was brought on board." - Princess Leia, A New Hope
"Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?" - Princess Leia, A New Hope
"Into the garbage chute, flyboy." - Princess Leia, A New Hope
"Will somebody get this big walking carpet out of my way!?" - Princess Leia, A New Hope
"You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought." - Princess Leia, A New Hope
"I'd just as soon kiss a Wookiee." - Princess Leia, The Empire Strikes Back
"Why, you stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking nerf-herder." - Princess Leia, The Empire Strikes Back
"Would it help if I got out and pushed?" - Princess Leia, The Empire Strikes Back
"You do have your moments. Not many of them, but you do have them." - Princess Leia, The Empire Strikes Back
"Captain, being held by you isn't quite enough to get me excited." - Princess Leia, The Empire Strikes Back
"I have a bad feeling about this." - Princess Leia, The Empire Strikes Back
"I love you." - Princess Leia, The Empire Strikes Back
"Someone who loves you." - Princess Leia, Return of the Jedi

"Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force." - Darth Vader, A New Hope
"I find your lack of faith disturbing." - Darth Vader, A New Hope
"Your powers are weak, old man." - Darth Vader, A New Hope
"He will join us or die, my master." - Darth Vader, The Empire Strikes Back
"Apology accepted, Captain Needa." - Darth Vader, The Empire Strikes Back
"You have learned much, young one." - Darth Vader, The Empire Strikes Back
"You are beaten. It is useless to resist." - Darth Vader, The Empire Strikes Back
"Impressive. Most impressive." - Darth Vader, The Empire Strikes Back
"No, I am your father!" - Darth Vader, The Empire Strikes Back
"You may dispense with the pleasantries, Commander." - Darth Vader, Return of the Jedi
"What is thy bidding, my master?" - Darth Vader, Return of the Jedi
"You are unwise to lower your defenses!" - Darth Vader, Return of the Jedi
"You don't know the power of the Dark Side!" - Darth Vader, Return of the Jedi

"You've never heard of the Millennium Falcon? It's the ship that made the Kessel run in less than twelve parsecs." - Han Solo, A New Hope
"I'll bet you have." - Han Solo, A New Hope
"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid." - Han Solo, A New Hope
"Traveling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, boy." - Han Solo, A New Hope
"I take orders from just one person: Me!" - Han Solo, A New Hope
"Wonderful girl! Either I'm gonna kill her or I'm beginning to like her." - Han Solo, A New Hope
"What an incredible smell you've discovered!" - Han Solo, A New Hope
"I've got a very bad feeling about this." - Han Solo, A New Hope
"You know, sometimes I amaze even myself." - Han Solo, A New Hope
"No reward is worth this." - Han Solo, A New Hope
"Great kid! Don't get cocky." - Han Solo, A New Hope
"Who's scruffy-looking?" - Han Solo, The Empire Strikes Back
"You look strong enough to pull the ears of a gundark." - Han Solo, The Empire Strikes Back
"Never tell me the odds." - Han Solo, The Empire Strikes Back
"Sorry sweetheart. I haven't got time for anything else." - Han Solo, The Empire Strikes Back
"I have no time to discuss this with the Committee!" - Han Solo, The Empire Strikes Back
"Laugh it up, fuzzball." - Han Solo, The Empire Strikes Back
"Hurry up, goldenrod, or you're gonna be a permanent resident!" - Han Solo, The Empire Strikes Back
"You like me because I'm a scoundrel. There aren't enough scoundrels in your life." - Han Solo, The Empire Strikes Back
"I'm nice men." - Han Solo, The Empire Strikes Back
"I know." - Han Solo, The Empire Strikes Back

I'M IN A HOLY ROLLER STATE OF MIND

You know for some reason for the last few days, I have strated to include "God" into my everyday word pattern. You know the "God loves you and so do I" statements. This is weird, well even for me, because you see "god" and I have some issues we're trying to work out. So the fact that I mention him (yes I do know he/she is genderless but work with me here) in everyday talk kind of wierds me out. You see I am thankful for the fact that I get every day with my partner. That I get to make others laugh and be there when they need a shoulder. For once in my life, I don't have any reason to be unhappy. I have my health, as poor as I am making it. I have a job that pays the bills. No, I'll never be rich but that's ok. I'm with my best friend who also happens to be my partner and girlfriend. I find myself looking towards the future and getting excited by it. I have re-found my lust for life. I have for the most part been reborn. So I was thinking that maybe there is a plan for all of us? Or maybe I'm just so damn happy now, that when I think of all those years I spent "thinking" I was happy, I realized I was doing nothing more than lying to myself. To actually know what it means when 2 hearts beat as one. When loving someone is as natural as breathing and just as important. When you have conversations where even the silence is comforting. When the sharing of your fears is just as important as sharing your hopes and dreams. So yeah at times like that do I thank myslef for waking up and seeing things as they truly are? Or is it a higher power, divine intervention or fate? I don't know, but I am grateful for it. Eveyrday.

Jose

UNITED I CAN STAND

You know the funny part of my existance, is that sometimes I get so wrapped up in my own self delusions, that I forget about many things. For example, I forget that there are people who have had dream jobs and wonderful lives that because of human frailties they can't do them anymore. Or the fact that not everyone is happy with where they are, whether it's a city, a job or relationship. I used to believe in the age old mantra...what comes around goes around. Well that's a crock of shit. I mean a big ole stinking pile of fly buffet served from the ass end of an escrement supplier. Yeah i know it sounds defeatist but it isn't. Everyone has to work at whatever happiness or in some cases the misery that surrounds them. I realize this. You see i'm happy to the deepest reaches of my soul right now. And I know my partner is too. But sometimes the sadness of the life she used to have shows up in her eyes. I know this because the same sadness will sometimes creep back into my very fiber and weighs at my heart and starts to drag me down the road of doubt and self pity. I realized today that she is the jedi master, and I am but a padawan learner. She is the stronger of us and I'm ok with that. I used to believe that my shoulders were broad enough to hold the world aka Atlas, But the truth is that I can barely stand at times and even without knowing it, thinking of her has given me the abilty to stand tall. Which is a good thing because being able to stand tall also means I can stand next to her, and even though she is shorter than me, she still towers over me. But I can stand next to her as an equal, and very honestly that is one of the greatest joys of my life.

A TRIP DOWN MEMORY LANE

You know my faithful and faithless, it seems whenever Superman seens to creep in my thoughts, I seem to drift back to more innocent days. When all flying took was to tie a towel around your neck, make the "whoooooosh" sound, jump up like you're taking off and that sort of false jump to pretend you just landed. When standing with your hands balled into fists pressed against your hips was all you needed to do deflect bullets. When "this is a job for Superman" was your battlecry to protect the innocent. The days of simple thoughts and ideas. Those days when waking up on Saturday mornings to catch him on the "Super Friends" was the pinnacle of happiness. Yeah, I miss those days alot. Recently I have found that the real world sucks worse than a partner with chipped and missing teeth. I realize that not everything is fixed with "truth justice and the American way". I am starting to see that the world is where "CRIMINALS ARE A COWARDLY AND SUPERSTITIOUS LOT, SO MYDISGUISE MUST BE ABLE TO STRIKE TERROR INTO THEIR HEARTS. I MUST BE A CREATURE OF THE NIGHT, BLACK, TERRIBLE" kind of place. You see I have really lost a lot of faith in the human race. It is a sad and very real forthcoming, that the demise of the human ideal will be, sad as it is to say, at the hands of man. And no I don't mean "man" as a gender but as whole. You see when I went to work today this blog started writing itself in my mind. Man builds just to tear down again. Than I started thinking about all of the things we as a race have done. We created. We destroy. We love. Only to love to hate. Yeah I know...as usual I am being very melodramatic, as is my nature, but I rarely ever hear about those things that used to inspire me as a child. Instead I hear about the horrors and fears that make my soul scream. Terrorism and crime. Abuse and abandonment. Neglect. Murder. Rape. All the things that strip away innocence. All the things that make children grow up, and become adults before they are ready. All the things that push you run in the "real world" when you still are not able to walk yet. Yeah I guess I still long for the days of "Super Friends" and hope for the world. Now I just long for some good news every once in a while.

I guess I remain Jose

...ending on a downer and looking for that red towel to tie around my neck, trying to catch those days gone by...

A MISSION STATEMENT

You know I have come to the conclusion after so many of the blogs that I truly enjoy have closed up shop because "people" know who they are and they didn't want to offend anyone or worse yet get asked "Are you talking about me?" This is a blog, this is where we talk about the things in life that make us laugh, make us cry and piss us off. It's like getting a peak into our collective thoughts and getting the real deal. Now, yeah I know this might upset some people, but this isn't about "you", it's about us, the bloggers. I've been writing about many things here for a little while now, and it seems like I've offended someone. By saying how I was feeling she thinks it was all her fault and that I blame her, but it wasn't and I'm not. It was also mine. I accept that. I gave up on myself. That's where the feeling came from. I gave up everything I was and am. This is nobody's fault but mine. Well I was debating whether or not I was gonna talk about it...knowing that there are a few people who know all the parties involved in what happened. I than decided. This is my life. This is my blog where I talk about my life. I talk about all the things that I needed to get out of my chaotic mind to start healing myself. Than I asked myself why would this be any different? It wouldn't be. So I started writing again. The need to get my feelings and thoughts in the open was again important to me. This is called Confessions of a Cereal Eater. Confessions being the operative word. So I did that. I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you don't want to be on here...ever, than you very honestly can't be in my world. This blog is a part of my world now. These are the things that I can't usually say in person. So I type them here. It's cathartic and is as much a part of my life as breathing. So there you have it. This blog will be here as long as I am breathing. With way more frequent updates, if you can't tell already.

ALL THINGS MUST COME TO AN END

Well, it's been a while since I was here last. The day that I wrote about Rocky, my life changed...again. You see if you go back and reread my blog from the beginning, you can see that part of me was being suppressed choked and slowly dying. Well after contemplating of an "easy way out" and a week of alcohol numbing (which is what I do in response to a heavy dose of reality slapping me in the face) I came to a decision. I wanted out. I needed out. I needed space. I needed to be free of the shackles of complacency. Without going into to many details, I left WG, and moved in with my best friend. The same friend who I was denied because of jealousy. I guess looking back I can see why. You see when we met we connected. We got along great, having so much in common, from the love of movies to "porn mad libs". I used to look forward to talking to her through Yahoo messenger, until I found out WG was getting jealous because we talked. Than we had lunch together, back when I was still trying to find a job in "rivendale", and we sort of had this unspoken pact. We weren't going to talk anymore. We wouldn't hang out anymore. In short, we would avoid each other like the plague. And we did. It sucked. I was lonely without my friend. Well we did this for close to 6 months. The loneliness of knowing my friend was "here" and not being able to do anything about it just about killed me. Than when I reached my breaking point...this is at the end of the 5 day bender I was on, I asked her if I could move in with her. She said yes. I said "wow". So after a slight stumble I did move in with her. Than one day (this was this past Saturday) I asked her out on a date. We had dinner. We watched a movie. It was "Life as a House". We had some cocktails. We talked about our feelings toward each other. I asked if she was willing to chance our friendship at something more. She said yes. I said "wow". So than on Sunday, after work I stopped here and asked her out on what we would call our second official date. I asked if she wanted to go for a walk to the park. She said yes. I said "wow". So we went, and we swung on the swings, we sat along the lake, and I acted like I was going to throw her in the lake. It was a very nice late afternoon. Well that's where I stand now. A new beginning with my best friend. I don't know what will happen. But than again who does? All I know is that for the first time in many months, I am truly excited about what tomorrow will bring. Just thought I'd let you all know what was going on in the now more complicated yet way more simple world of Jose.

Well see you all soon, and I'll let you all know what's going on in my little world.

Jose

DEAR GOD

Dear God,

What's up? I know we don't talk much anymore, but hey we're both pretty busy nowadays. I just have some things I need to ask you? I mean why did you give us free will only to punish us for using it? I mean it's not like you gave us an instruction manual to go with it. You didn't give it to your first creations nor did you give it to anything else. In your book you said that we were the favorites of all your creations, yet you abandoned your first born, never forgiving them, but you than sacrificed your "true" son only to give the rest of us a chance at forgiveness, but did you ever forgive the first "betrayers"? I don't think you did, nor do I think you ever will. You are just being a stubborn parent who was crossed, and even though you were and are wrong you still won't admit it. I think that's a pretty selfish thing. I think it's a pretty human thing. I think it's about time you got over it.

Jose