I'M SORRY...BUT IF YOU READ MY PREVIOUS POST...THAN YOU'LL UNDERSTAND

I don't know when I'll be back. I'm taking some time away from blogging. I have other things to take care of. No I'm sorry, I don't have things to take care of...I have a family to take care of.

BBS
Jose

BEING STRONG, WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE THE STRENGTH

OK here's a little secret. Season and I were parents...for about 4-5 weeks. That ended this morning around 8 am. It ended and I couldn't be sad or weak, not this time. I had to be there for Season, who was taking it really hard. So I had to swallow down a lot of pain and an extreme sense of loss. I didn't know I could feel that abyss of emptiness, and I almost ran to a graveyard of empty bottles again. I couldn't do that, not this time. You see I have this tendency to run into that graveyard whenever things hurt too much and believe me I was hurting. If I had done that, first of all, what kind of a partner/soon to be husband would I be if I left her to deal with alone? Second, what kind of father would do that? I didn't want to be that person, not anymore. Right now I'm having a couple of drinks, only because I wouldn't be able to say any of this without it. It's been a long day. Season called me this morning to bring her meds and girly armor, and bring them out to her work. When I got there she was barely holding on, and so was I. I guess I've always wanted a child of my own, from me and of me. I wanted it with EX1, but I never really felt this kind of emptiness when it didn't happen with her. Oddly, I didn't want it with EX2, but with Season, it truly felt beautiful and like it was truly meant to be. On Wednesday I emailed my friend Bev and told her what was going on, and I wish I hadn't. Because 2 days later everything has changed. Season is doing good...physically and emotionally, and we'll be setting up an OB-GYN appointment. Because, I want her to be OK. We both lost someone very special today, and I can't bear the thought of something happening to her. I'm sorry that I'm going all over the place today, but that's how the thoughts are coming to me. I mean even before this, we came up with names, that WE BOTH AGREED on. Inara for a girl and Kaelin for a boy. Nope no middle names...yet, but we both figured that those would come in time. I read online that most people, who have miscarriages, usually refer to them as its. Well I won't. Also it's not a miscarriage, until it's between the 12th and 28th week. Sorry for the crude language, but that is so totally fucked!!!! He/she has started to grow. He/she has had a taste of life. He/she did live. He/she passed away. Are we the only 2 people who see this? Does this mean we are going to stop hoping for a family? NO. Does this mean we're going to stop trying? NO. Because up until this, we didn't think it was possible. Now we know it is. Now, we know we have that chance. Our child has given us something we didn't have before. We have hope. Our child showed us that there is something more for us. Our unborn child, gave us a hope for tomorrow. Our unborn child, gave us a gift. That gift was and is a future family. And to never ever shoot for less.

IN THE MOOD TO WRITE

Ok let's see what happened. On Tuesday I helped my sister with her cleaning job. So I tell her about http://kittenwar.com/ and she tells me that her kitten was on there. http://kittenwar.com/kittens/56468/, that's her kitten. So she tells me she's been avoiding her dad (that would be my stepdad...for now). Which in turns explains why he's been calling me so often now. So on Wednesday (and why is it pronounced wensday?), I had breakfast with stepdad, and we talk and talk and talk. Mainly about bullshit because he won't say anything of true substance. So now it's Thursday and stepdad calls me again, this time to tell me that I can have a bookshelf. Since Season and I have been trying to consolidate 2 households, our "libraries" have grown. Books, cd's and movies, so we need as many shelving units as we can get. Now because of the whole divorce thing going on, stepdad gets a little wonky. So having the occasional breakfast keps him from getting too stupid. So I tell my mom this. She basically says as long as it keeps him of her back she really doesn't care. Which in translation means I can't believe you're making time for him and you aren't for me. So basically I give up when it comes to staying out of the whole divorce thing. I am telling them both what they should do, only because I'm tired of being put in the middle of it, so instead I'm doing what I can to end the whole mess...because than the extreme amounts of bullshit and backstabbing will come to an end, and I can get on with my own life.

Jose

IS IT ME OR IS THIS JUST WRONG?

Hello again all you wonderful people. Today while Season and I happened to be at Wal-Mart, getting some soon to be needed health care and pet supplies, we came across this lil dandy. THE GILETTE VENUS VIBRANCE. It's a vibrating razor, for those who didn't know. Like me, until this evening. Now call me dumb, but since when do vibrating and shaving go in the same sentence? I can see doing one AFTER the other, but at the same time? That just seems kinda scary to me. Just thought I'd share that.
Jose

WHY SO MANY LINKS?

Well that's easy...I'm bored. I've been at home for almost 2 months now (temporary lay off's suck) and being the house bitch, just isn't as cool as it was in the beginning. I spent the first week watching Sci-Fi Channel and Cartoon Network. I than spent part of the next week reading, watching anime and doing some house work. Than I decided I would get caught up on favorite blogs, and comics and catching up on my time waasting sites. So that's what I've been doing...and now I'm bored out of my freakin mind. So what do I do? I turn to the net to relieve my boredom. So I've been doing that...and when I see something that really makes me laugh, go "OMF'ingGAAAAWD" or even WOW...I link it. I know I'm in a sad state of affairs. Even cooking which has always been a joy for me, has been feeling like a burden. So there ya have it...I'm looking for crap on the info supa hi-weigh cause I got nuffin better to do.

But on the plus side...

I get to sleep with my girl. Well, when I CAN sleep. I get to see her for more than just 3-4 hours a day, which has been awesome. I talk to her when she calls me from her breaks, which still makes me feel like a teenager when that girl you likes calls you. So I guess it does even out in that way.

I guess I'n just like the petulant child, I'm happy with what I got, and unhappy with what I got. Do you think it's time for me to grow up? Oh sweet hosannah in the highest, I hope not.

TTYS

Jose

BY ALL THAT IS HOLY...THIS IS SPOOKY

There really are Smurfs....and by god it is scary

http://www.fhm.com/site/readersemails/img/smurfs.jpg

CLEANING OUT IMAGE FOLDER 2

Still cleaning out my folder

CLEANING OUT IMAGE FOLDER

Cleaning out my jpg folder.

TIME WASTER OF THE MOMENT

Which Simpson Character YOU??

sadly...


thas me


but I know I have more hair...OY VEY!!!

KILLING TIME IN THE FIRST DEGREE

I'm still www surfing and watching the Hallmark Channel. Bedknobs and Broomsticks finished, and now A Simple Twist of Fate is on. So needless to say today is a lazy Monday. I have done nothing, except take dinner out of the freezer for dethawment. That's it. The most exciting thing I've done is find a couple of great blogs...I told you about one, well here's another one. Just read it. You'll love it. It's called Throwing Bananas at Toddlers Confessions of an Imperfect Parent. Read it already.

JUST DOING A LITTLE WWW SURFING

Wow. I was just wasting some time on here, while I wait to hear from Season. She calls during her lunch break, and we talk for a few minutes. So I decided to go blog hopping. When I do this, I usually read the first 3-4 posts. If it keeps me reading than I walk away from it. I save it in my faves folder. Than I'll walk away from the puter. Smoke a cigarette, check what's on TV, grab a diet coke and than come back to the puter. I basically try to forget what it was I was reading, and if that lil loud mouthed thing in the back of my mind tells me to go back and read more, well than I go back and read some more. Now this really doesn't happen that often...that's why I don't have many blog's linked. They really have to strike some kind of chord with me. So now that you have system as to how I link blogs I have to say this. I found this very honest, thought provoking and at times very humorous blog called Confessions from a Private Lesbian. I kept reading it, till I was up to date with it. It made me laugh, stop and think and at times I thought, that's what I would say/think/do. So here you go. Something new to read. Something new to enjoy.

LOOKEE LOOKEE NEW THINGS ADDED

Well hello again my legion of friends, well at least all 3 of you, It's after midnight and Season is hibernating. So since I got me a case of "aint got the sleepies" I'd thought I'd come here and have some fun. First of all I'd like to welcome Birch Bark Blog(Black's Cliff Resort) to my lil waste of space. For a wonderful glimpse into the daily life of a resort gal (and family) in the Northwoods of Wisconsin check out her blog. In case you missed it here it is again Birch Bark Blog(Black's Cliff Resort), and it can also be found on my sidebar.
Also added all things Serenity/Firefly straight from the creators blog. All hail Joss Whedon!! Speaking of Joss, some of you may not know that he also did Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel. One of the actors from Angel is Christian Kane, who also happens to be a pretty good singer, and by accident I found this...KANE at myspace.com. It's his bands music and if ya dig let 'em know.
Well I gotta go kill a cat who is trying to walk on a kitchen counter, which he clearly know he aint allowed on. Be back later.

OD'ING ON FIREFLY

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You scored as Serenity (Firefly). You like to live your own way and don't enjoy when anyone but a friend tries to tell you should do different. Now if only the Reavers would quit trying to skin you. Your Ultimate Sci-Fi Profile II: which sci-fi crew would you best fit in? (pics) created with QuizFarm.com

HOMOGYNIST IS NOT A REAL WORD

Misogyny is an exaggerated aversion towards women. Compared with anti-woman sexism, misogyny is usually regarded as directed against women by some men, though women can also harbor misogynistic views. In feminist theory, misogyny is recognised as a political ideology similar to racism or anti-Semitism, existing to justify and reproduce the subordination of women by men. The etymology of misogyny comes from the Greek and means to hate (misein) woman (gyne).

The above was stolen with respect from http://www.reference.com/browse/wiki/Misogyny.
Well today I thought I was being very clever, when I asked Season, while shopping at WAL-MART

"If a misogynist hates women, does a homogynist, hate gay people or cows?"
See, I thought "wow I am so very clever", so being happy and smug, when we got home, I decided to look on the 'www' to see if it was a real word. It's not, but other people who are more clever than I, have used that word also, and plentifully. Now, again I used it as a funny little play on words, and I found people who actually use it. So being as anal retentive as I am, I looked up the definitions and the etymology. Low and behold, MUUUAAAH HAHAHAHAHA, I give you the results (see the first portion of this post). So than going to new levels of anal retentiveness, I looked up the word "homo" and I got this

A member of the genus Homo, which includes the extinct and extant species of humans

and

any living or extinct member of the family Hominidae [syn: man, human being, human]
So I guess technically a Homogynist would be homo=man genus=woman. It would be a man/woman. Umm...that's a good thing I believe. Unless you're gay than it would be a homohomo or a gynistgynist. Wow, I think I gynist wasted a lot of reading time with my retentivness.

So with that said, I remain a guy with way too much time to do crap like this named,

Jose

FOR THE RECORD...ACCORDING TO THE HISTORY CHANEL

The History of Valentine's DayEvery February, across the country, candy, flowers, and gifts are exchanged between loved ones, all in the name of St. Valentine. But who is this mysterious saint and why do we celebrate this holiday? The history of Valentine's Day -- and its patron saint -- is shrouded in mystery. But we do know that February has long been a month of romance. St. Valentine's Day, as we know it today, contains vestiges of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition. So, who was Saint Valentine and how did he become associated with this ancient rite? Today, the Catholic Church recognizes at least three different saints named Valentine or Valentinus, all of whom were martyred.
One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men -- his crop of potential soldiers. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death.
Other stories suggest that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons where they were often beaten and tortured. According to one legend, Valentine actually sent the first 'valentine' greeting himself. While in prison, it is believed that Valentine fell in love with a young girl -- who may have been his jailor's daughter -- who visited him during his confinement. Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter, which he signed 'From your Valentine,' an expression that is still in use today. Although the truth behind the Valentine legends is murky, the stories certainly emphasize his appeal as a sympathetic, heroic, and, most importantly, romantic figure. It's no surprise that by the Middle Ages, Valentine was one of the most popular saints in England and France.
The History of Valentine's DayWhile some believe that Valentine's Day is celebrated in the middle of February to commemorate the anniversary of Valentine's death or burial -- which probably occurred around 270 A.D -- others claim that the Christian church may have decided to celebrate Valentine's feast day in the middle of February in an effort to 'christianize' celebrations of the pagan Lupercalia festival. In ancient Rome, February was the official beginning of spring and was considered a time for purification. Houses were ritually cleansed by sweeping them out and then sprinkling salt and a type of wheat called spelt throughout their interiors. Lupercalia, which began at the ides of February, February 15, was a fertility festival dedicated to Faunus, the Roman god of agriculture, as well as to the Roman founders Romulus and Remus.
To begin the festival, members of the Luperci, an order of Roman priests, would gather at the sacred cave where the infants Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome, were believed to have been cared for by a she-wolf or lupa. The priests would then sacrifice a goat, for fertility, and a dog, for purification. The History of Valentine's DayIn Great Britain, Valentine's Day began to be popularly celebrated around the seventeenth century. By the middle of the eighteenth century, it was common for friends and lovers in all social classes to exchange small tokens of affection or handwritten notes. By the end of the century, printed cards began to replace written letters due to improvements in printing technology. Ready-made cards were an easy way for people to express their emotions in a time when direct expression of one's feelings was discouraged. Cheaper postage rates also contributed to an increase in the popularity of sending Valentine's Day greetings. Americans probably began exchanging hand-made valentines in the early 1700s. In the 1840s, Esther A. Howland began to sell the first mass-produced valentines in America.
According to the Greeting Card Association, an estimated one billion valentine cards are sent each year, making Valentine's Day the second largest card-sending holiday of the year. (An estimated 2.6 billion cards are sent for Christmas.)
Approximately 85 percent of all valentines are purchased by women. In addition to the United States, Valentine's Day is celebrated in Canada, Mexico, the United Kingdom, France, and Australia. Valentine greetings were popular as far back as the Middle Ages (written Valentine's didn't begin to appear until after 1400), and the oldest known Valentine card is on display at the British Museum. The first commercial Valentine's Day greeting cards produced in the U.S. were created in the 1840s by Esther A. Howland. Howland, known as the Mother of the Valentine, made elaborate creations with real lace, ribbons and colorful pictures known as "scrap".
The boys then sliced the goat's hide into strips, dipped them in the sacrificial blood and took to the streets, gently slapping both women and fields of crops with the goathide strips. Far from being fearful, Roman women welcomed being touched with the hides because it was believed the strips would make them more fertile in the coming year. Later in the day, according to legend, all the young women in the city would place their names in a big urn. The city's bachelors would then each choose a name out of the urn and become paired for the year with his chosen woman. These matches often ended in marriage. Pope Gelasius declared February 14 St. Valentine's Day around 498 A.D. The Roman 'lottery' system for romantic pairing was deemed un-Christian and outlawed. Later, during the Middle Ages, it was commonly believed in France and England that February 14 was the beginning of birds' mating season, which added to the idea that the middle of February -- Valentine's Day -- should be a day for romance. The oldest known valentine still in existence today was a poem written by Charles, Duke of Orleans to his wife while he was imprisoned in the Tower of London following his capture at the Battle of Agincourt. The greeting, which was written in 1415, is part of the manuscript collection of the British Library in London, England. Several years later, it is believed that King Henry V hired a writer named John Lydgate to compose a valentine note to Catherine of Valois.

IT'S SATURDAY AND IT'S ALL RIGHT

For Fosters and Pall Mall Light 100's (although it's my last 100, and I'll be smoking Kings, because they were cheaper). It's been an a domesticated 2 days for me. Cleaning, laundry and cooking is what I have done. Now it's time for me to blog away. Season is sleeping, and I couldn't. So I decided to have a solo man outing. Which means I was reading comics, blogs and porn. Oh by the hand of Jesus saves, because he clips coupons, I have blogged. I've comiced. I porned. Damn it's good to be the kings...3rd cousin from my mothers side 4 times removed. Yeah, this is one of my waste of words kind of moment, but I hope you enjoy the rut out of it anyway. You know it has been an ok week this time. Not great, but not a suck's worse than a dirt devil kind of week. Season is now an official employee of her work place, insteat of being a temp. My ass is still on a layoff. We watched all of Firefly, along with DOOM (which was an awright flick), Mirrormask (which was stunning and beautiful), the Island (which was fun...although to me it felt like it had shades of Logan's Run) and Amy's O (which is a DRAMA/COMEDY about relationships and how they are percieved). Now don't get me wrong...we aint perfect...but we keep trying. The 2 of us. Working through everything. Dealing with everything. Trying to a better whole, than just a couple of ok parts. I guess I just had to say that.

So with all that said...meaning I said nothing at all..I still remain

Jose

Yay Ruttin me.

TTYS.

A NISSAN VIDEO??? THAS PRETTY COOL!!!

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

IT'S 3 AM I MUST BE...SLEEPY?

Oh good lord...I am on the last 2 loads of laundry...you know having only 1 washer/dryer, really is a way to waste the entire day. Thank the goddess, I had movies to occupy my time. Because after I finish washing/drying the last 2 loads, I than got to put all the clothes away. Which won't be so bad, cause I don't fold a damn thing. Another moment of praise for the dieties that someone follows, that I have a lot of closet space. So why does laundry actually take up 2 posts? Because very simply, I had a lot of laundry to do. So now that I'm on the last lap, I can now start on the next thing on my list. The kitchen. I already started some of it. Trying to let the dishpan hands go away. OMG. I'm becoming domesticated. I really need to get a life.

Be back in a few.

REVIEW OF THE DUKES OF HAZZARD (Unrated Widescreen Edition)

I feel so ashamed. I feel dirty. I wasted 107 minutes. I actually watched this movie. And by the grace of God's wicked sense of humor, I actually found myself laughing not only outloud, but also cheering for the damn Dukes. This movie may not have been an overly accurate remake of the TV series, but it did capture the spirit of the original. Of course it helps that it was directed by the same cat Jay Chandrasekhar who directed Super Troopers. which is frikken HIGH-LAR-EEEE-YUS. Let me simply say this. You had to have seen the original series to appreciate the subtle and overly obvious jabs and parodies. Now being a fan of the original series, albeit I was also 7 thru 13 years old and that's my excuse, I did enjoy the movie. But at the same time I can see why people who didn't see the originals or like the original, wouldn't like it. And that's cool. Like I said;
I feel so ashamed. I feel dirty. I wasted 107 minutes. I actually watched this movie. And by the grace of God's wicked sense of humor, I actually found myself laughing not only outloud, but also cheering for the damn Dukes. And that's all I got to say about that.

NOT IN THE MOOD, SORRY

Well I guess that says it all. You see for the last week or so I've been absolutely lazy. I haven't been in the mood to post, so I pretty much put up some of my "back up" things, you know those dumb things we keep that we enventually share. Well I finally did. So there you have it. I'll be back a lil later. I actually have some things to talk about. Right now I'm in the middle of laundry. Be back.

NOBODY PUTS SWAYZE IN A CORNER

JUST WATCH IT...lmao

http://www.ephinx.com/tvadverts/142/orange-patrick-swayze-advert.html

BATH TIME MOSES

hehehehehehe

LOL...This is what happens when you send me emails

I'LL DO MORE SOON...

NOT TO MUCH TIME SO I DID SOME OFFLINE TIME WASTING

COMEDITY

LOL and this one too

Comedity

CYANIDE AND HAPPINESS

This comic is wrong on so many levels, that I couldn't stop reading it. Check this bad boy out.
Cyanide and Happiness

WELL IT'S OFFICIAL

I have officially wasted enough time to Catch up on PVP Online ,Scandal Sheet ,Something Positive, Devil's Panties, Venus Envy and Friendly Hostility. I'm caught up on web comics. I've also started a flickr link, where I'll be posting some of the things that I fotograf on occasion. When I get it going better, and learn how to do more things with it and get more pictures I want posted I'll be linking. So now I'll be scouring the I-net for some more cool comics. I mean now that I can spend mere moments reading comics, instead of hours and days at a time...well, you get the idea. So there ya have it. I'm caught up. Feels kind of weird though. Well let's see what I find.

Sarah Michelle Geller and it was on Saturday Night Live

It's Sarah Michelle Geller and it was on Saturday Night Live


http://media.putfile.com/Sarah-Michelle-Gellar-as-Britney-Spears

LOL THE 80'S LIVE

This had me rolling...and best of all...I know all the words to this awesome song

CLICK HERE

STILL NOT SLEEPING

And still checking out some truly beautiful photographs...and linking them so youcan see them too...
sf9
avolare render 2
runtome

CAN'T SLEEP

I couldn't sleep again. So I surfed the i-net. And I found this. So being a very amatuer fotografur, all I can say are these shots are truly amazing.

nakedtoilet
lostatsea
done
sf6
sf7

JUST DAMN DISTURBING

CLICK HERE

FRIENDLY HOSTILITY

FRIENDLY HOSTILITY


Hi all...couldn't sleep tonight, so I started reading some web comics...and this one had me rolling on the frikken floor...so go and read it

HERE'S THE REASON TO READ

HERE'S THE REASON TO READ SOMETHING POSITIVE




SO GO READ IT IF YOU ALREADY DON'T!!! SO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR...CLICK HERE ???

IT JUST FIT MY PREVIOUS POST

I'M STILL ALIVE!!!'

I took my lil sis out driving today. She's 21 and finally bent on getting her drivers license, only because, she wants them to get a better job. This is the second time we've driven, and the first time I was scared. She tends to use the brake as a slow down device, sometimes. She also tends to weave more than a persian rug maker, which the first time out wasn't so bad. But this time we went on a major highway. Umm...let's just say I have found a brand new love of the invisable brake pedal and for seatbelts. We're doing this again in a few days, please pray for me.

MORE EMAILS

As we all know, when we hit retirementage we come face to face with the fact that it maybe time to relocate. The big question is: where to?Here are some tips.

You can live in Phoenix, Arizona where....
1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
2. You can open and drive your car without touching the car door or the steering wheel.
3. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
4. You would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.
5. You can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.
6. "Dress Code" is meaningless at high schools and universities. Picture lingerie ads.
7. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
8. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
9. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!
10. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.

You can Live in California where...
1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2 The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell phone.
3. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
4. You know how to eat an artichoke.
5. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
6. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.

You can Live in New York City where...
1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the EmpireStateBuilding.
3. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
4 You think Central Park is "nature,"
5. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
6. You've worn out a car horn.7. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

You can Live in Maine where...
1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.

You can Live in the Deep South where...
1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2. "y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.
3. After five years you still hear, "You ain't from ' round here, are Ya?"
4. "He needed killin' " is a valid defense.
5. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, MARY BETH, etc.

You can live in Colorado where...
1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

You can live in the Midwest where...
1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"

AND You can live in Florida where.
1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.

ANOTHER EMAIL

I thought it does have some merit, now I don't agree with it all, but this is the way it was sent to me, so I see no need to edit or censor it. You may like it or not, but either way, it's what I'm doing.

Andy Rooney ! said on "60 Minutes" a few weeks back:

I don't think being a minority makes you a victim of anything except numbers. The only things I can think of that are truly discriminatory are things like the United Negro College Fund, Jet Magazine, Black Entertainment Television, and Miss Black America. Try to have things like the United Caucasian College Fund, Cloud Magazine, White Entertainment Television, or Miss White America; and see what happens...Jesse Jackson will be knocking down your door.

Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.

I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a reason, that is why there are no girls allowed. Girls belong in the Girl Scouts! ARE YOU LISTENING MARTHA BURKE?

I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong, it is not a phobia, it is an opinion.

I have the right "NOT" to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird, or tick me off.

When 70% of the people who get arrested are black, in cities where 70% of the population is black, that is not racial profiling, it is the Law of Probability.

I believe that if you are selling me a milkshake, a pack of cigarettes, a newspaper or a hotel room, you must do it in English! As a matter of fact, if you want to be an American citizen, you should have to speak English!

My father and grandfather didn't die in vain so you can leave the countries you were born in to come over and disrespect ours. I think the police should have every right to shoot your sorry a_ _(bottom) if you threaten them, after they tell you to stop. If you can't understand the word "freeze" or "stop" in English, see the above lines.

I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you are qualified for any special loan programs, government sponsored bank loans or tax breaks, etc., so you can open a hotel, coffee shop, trinket store, or any other business.

We did not go to the aid of certain foreign countries and risk our lives in wars to defend their freedoms, so that decades later they could come over here and tell us our constitution is a living document, and open to their interpretations.

I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.

I know pro wrestling is fake, but so are movies and television. That doesn't stop you from watching them.

I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made, and continue to make more. If it ticks you off, go and invent the next operating system that's better, and put your name on the building.

It doesn't take a whole village to raise a child right, but it does take a parent to stand up to the kid; and smack their little behinds when necessary, and say "NO!"

I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement. And, please, stay home until that new lip ring heals. I don't want to look at your ugly infected mouth as you serve me French fries!

I am sick of "Political Correctness." I know a lot of black people, and not a single one of them was born in Africa; so how can they be "African-Americans"? Besides, Africa is a continent. I don't go around saying I am a European-American because my great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather was from Europe. I am proud to be from America and nowhere else.

And if you don't like my point of view, tough...

DON'T PASS IT ON...

AN EMAIL...

Just an email I got

Paul Harvey Writes:

We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse.. For my grandchildren, I'd like better.

I'd really like for them to know about hand me down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches. I really would.

I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated.

I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car.

And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen.

It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your old dog put to sleep.

I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in.

I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother/sister. And it's all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room,but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I hope you let him.

When you want to see a movie and your little brother/sister wants to tag along, I hope you'll let him/her.

I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely.

On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don't ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won't be seen riding with someone as uncool as your Mom.

If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one.

I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books.

When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head.

I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a boy\girl, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what ivory soap tastes like.

May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.

I don't care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don't like it. And if a friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you realize he is not your friend.

I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandma/Grandpa and go fishing with your Uncle.

May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays.

I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your neighbor's window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Hannukah/Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand.

These things I wish for you - tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness. To me, it's the only way to appreciate life.

Written with a pen.

Sealed with a kiss. I'm here for you.

And if I die before you do, I'll go to heaven and wait for you.

I'M SO EMBAREASSED

You know what I did yesterday? I watched America's Next Top Model season 4 marathon on VH1. Yeah I know I was stuck on VH1 yesterday. What makes it worse is that I can very honestly say that I have NEVER watched Survivor, Fear Factor and the only reason I watched the Apprentice, was because I had no control over the TV in a single TV household. With the only 2 exceptions being Season 2 of MTV's Real World and WWE's Tough Enough that aired on MTV, which I watched religiously for the 3 seasons it aired. So no, I'm not into "reality based" shows or competitions, at all. But there exceptions to this rule. I will watch the occasional Celebreality show on VH1, only because most celebrities exist on planet Earth, but they don't live on it. So it's not reality in any way. I know this is an over exageration, but just work with me here. So as I was saying, I'm not a reality tv person, or as I like to call it, Misery TV. So yesterday, I was just too damn lazy to change the channel, so I left it on VH1, because I thoght they might on occasion play a music video. I was once again wrong. Instead there was America's Next Top Model. So out of a sick curiosity, I started watching it.

And...

God damnit. Another reality competition has gotten it's dirty fingers into me. I hate it when that happens. Well I wasted a day watching America's Next Top Model. Worst thing was, the model I was rooting for, Kahlen, who did make it to the final 2, and lost out in the end. She has that Coutney Thorne-Smith and Meg Ryan girl next door yet very sexy girl feel So yeah an entire frikken day wasted. I got bit by the damn America's Next Top Model bug.

I hope that this bug goes away soon. Here I go looking for a cure. See ya.

LISA LOEB

This is cut from the Lisa Loeb official site

This is the way it really is. Lisa Loeb is a woman with a vision. Fiercely independent, savvy and driven, the multidimensional performer, who started her career at the top of the charts when her debut song "Stay (I Missed You)" landed the then unsigned artist at No. 1, continues to follow a singular, self-guided path. On her fifth studio recording, her first for Zoë/Rounder Records, the Grammy-nominated singer and songwriter carefully guides this musical vision to reality. The Way It Really Is, is a keenly observed recording, rich in lyrical and musical detail, an engaging, literal and philosophical examination of life and love.

Loeb creates poetic and painful images on the more intimate acoustic tracks. The song "Try," reflects Loeb’s attitude that one can choose the positive over the negative. With its classic allusions to mountains and other obstacles, the song offers advice, as well as Loeb's reminder to herself that perspective is everything. On "Accident," she juxtaposes lyrics about a high-society calamity with gun-toting school children to create a jarring effect. "The song is about how people deal with tragedy," Loeb comments. "We don't want to see it, but at the same time, we slow down to stare at it. Recently, I've noticed it even more, with all of the world turmoil reported on the news. What makes it even more disturbing, is that the serious issues are reported in the same breath as celebrity gossip, desensitizing us to what’s actually important."

Raised in Dallas, Texas, deeply immersed in the arts, Loeb studied piano and music theory and wrote her first original songs with lyrics while still in her early teens. She earned her degree in comparative literature from Brown University, where she experienced her first taste of musical success with the duo, Liz and Lisa. In the early ‘90s, Loeb moved to New York where she became a favorite on the Manhattan club circuit and surrounded herself with like-minded young musicians, actors and writers. In 1993, Loeb's New York neighbor and pal Ethan Hawke recommended her to Reality Bites director Ben Stiller, who in turn included "Stay" on the hit film's soundtrack. Confirming Loeb's prodigious talents, the Platinum-selling "Stay" earned both a Grammy nomination and a "Best New Artist" Brit Award and resulted in a record deal with Geffen Records.

So needless to say when I saw this on Vh1...



well I had to link it...

LMAO you so gotta see this moviE

preview

WEEK PT 3

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!!

So this is a PSA for all you men out there, only because Valentines Day is 8 days away...

The right questions...

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW!! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: What did I do wrong?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.

13 Things! PMS Stands For:

1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff

...And my favorite one...

13. Potential Murder Suspect

Another thing to giggle about...

My husband, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood,

it leaves a big red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy me diamonds.
Here have some chocolate.

WEEK...PT2

An oldie...but still damn funny
Whether Democrat or Republican, I think you'll get a kick out of this. A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is Politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I am the head of the family, so call me The President. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government. We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People. The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we will call him the Future. Now think about that and see if it makes sense.

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."

The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."

The little boy replies, "The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are beingignored and the Future is in deep shit."

IT'S BEEN A WEEK...

Now let's se what the hell I've been up to...

Well, I realized that I really had not much to say. I guess even I can't talk that much...well I'm working towrads it, but for now, I took the last week off to do some recharging of the blog batteries. So I did a lot of offline writing, compiling some funny e-mails, and locating some funny i-net crap, that I'm about to unload on you all...

First we have the emails...

Oxymorons:

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
6. Why do "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
7. Why do "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?
9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?
10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?
11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?
12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?
14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?
15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?
16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?
21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?
27. Christmas oxymoron: What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?