Yup that kind of Night5/04/2007
5/03/2007
TOP 17 FATAL THINGS TO SAY TO YOUR PREGNANT WIFE
QUOTE OF THE DAY:
I would say that the chances slim and none—and slim just rode out of town
Anonomys
17. "I finished the Oreo's."
16. "Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs 40pounds."
15. "Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Leehad a baby!"
14. "I sure hope your thighs aren't gonna stay that flabby forever."
13. "Well, couldn't they induce labor? The 25th is the SuperBowl."
12. "Darned if you ain't about five pounds away from a surprisevisit from that Richard Simmons
fella."
11. "Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy,that's gotta hurt."
10. "Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next toWillard Scott!"
9. "I'm jealous! Why can't men experience the joy of childbirth?"
8. "Are your ankles supposed to look like that?"
7. "Get your *own* ice cream."
6. "Geez, you're awfully puffy looking today."
5. "Got milk?"
4. "Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Bambi."
3. "Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!"
2. "Retaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water."
And the Number 1 Fatal Thing to Say to Your Pregnant Wife...
1. "You don't have the guts to pull the trigger........."
I would say that the chances slim and none—and slim just rode out of town
Anonomys
17. "I finished the Oreo's."
16. "Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs 40pounds."
15. "Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Leehad a baby!"
14. "I sure hope your thighs aren't gonna stay that flabby forever."
13. "Well, couldn't they induce labor? The 25th is the SuperBowl."
12. "Darned if you ain't about five pounds away from a surprisevisit from that Richard Simmons
fella."
11. "Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy,that's gotta hurt."
10. "Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next toWillard Scott!"
9. "I'm jealous! Why can't men experience the joy of childbirth?"
8. "Are your ankles supposed to look like that?"
7. "Get your *own* ice cream."
6. "Geez, you're awfully puffy looking today."
5. "Got milk?"
4. "Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Bambi."
3. "Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!"
2. "Retaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water."
And the Number 1 Fatal Thing to Say to Your Pregnant Wife...
1. "You don't have the guts to pull the trigger........."
30 THINGS STRESSED WOMEN MAY SAY AT WORK
Current mood: bouncy
QUOTE OF THE DAY:
"It's one thing to shoot yourself in the foot. It's another thing to reload. And it's quite another thing to go get another gun."
Mark Rasch
Chief security counsel, primary spokesperson for customer education and security strategies for Solutionary, worked with Fortune 500 clients, law enforcement, and various intelligence communities and a former federal prosecutor for high-tech crimes
1. Okay, okay! I take it back. Unfuck you.
2. You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.
3. Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.
4. Well, aren't we a damn ray of sunshine?
5. Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after.
6. Do I look like a people person?
7. This isn't an office. It's hell with fluorescent lighting.
8. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.
9. Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.
10. Why don't you try practicing random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control?
11. I'm not crazy. I've been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
12. Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.
13. Do they ever shut up on your planet?
14. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
15. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't gone to sleep yet!
16. Back off!! You're standing in my aura.
17. Don't worry. I forgot your name too.
18. I work 45 hours a week to be this poor.
19. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
20. Wait...I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
21. Chaos, panic and disorder .. my work here is done.
22. Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
23. You look like shit. Is that the style now?
24. Earth is full. Go home.
25. Aw, did I step on your poor little itty bitty ego?
26. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
27. A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.
28. You are depriving some village of an idiot.
29. If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport.
30. Look in my eyes . Do you see one ounce of gives-a-shit?
QUOTE OF THE DAY:
"It's one thing to shoot yourself in the foot. It's another thing to reload. And it's quite another thing to go get another gun."
Mark Rasch
Chief security counsel, primary spokesperson for customer education and security strategies for Solutionary, worked with Fortune 500 clients, law enforcement, and various intelligence communities and a former federal prosecutor for high-tech crimes
1. Okay, okay! I take it back. Unfuck you.
2. You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.
3. Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.
4. Well, aren't we a damn ray of sunshine?
5. Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after.
6. Do I look like a people person?
7. This isn't an office. It's hell with fluorescent lighting.
8. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.
9. Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.
10. Why don't you try practicing random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control?
11. I'm not crazy. I've been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
12. Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.
13. Do they ever shut up on your planet?
14. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
15. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't gone to sleep yet!
16. Back off!! You're standing in my aura.
17. Don't worry. I forgot your name too.
18. I work 45 hours a week to be this poor.
19. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
20. Wait...I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
21. Chaos, panic and disorder .. my work here is done.
22. Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
23. You look like shit. Is that the style now?
24. Earth is full. Go home.
25. Aw, did I step on your poor little itty bitty ego?
26. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
27. A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.
28. You are depriving some village of an idiot.
29. If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport.
30. Look in my eyes . Do you see one ounce of gives-a-shit?
5/02/2007
UPDATES
Myspace
WOW!!
Current mood: embarrassed
Just a little thing that really isn't worth mentioning to anyone but me...but You know my waste of space has been viewed over 400 times....WHY??? UHHHhh I mean Very COOL. Damnit that means I really have to try harder now...man I hate work.
Yahoo360
Current mood: embarrassed
Just a little thing that really isn't worth mentioning to anyone but me...but You know my waste of space has been viewed over 300 times....WHY??? UHHHhh I mean Very COOL. Damnit that means I really have to try harder now...man I hate work.
WOW!!
Current mood: embarrassed
Just a little thing that really isn't worth mentioning to anyone but me...but You know my waste of space has been viewed over 400 times....WHY??? UHHHhh I mean Very COOL. Damnit that means I really have to try harder now...man I hate work.
Yahoo360
Current mood: embarrassed
Just a little thing that really isn't worth mentioning to anyone but me...but You know my waste of space has been viewed over 300 times....WHY??? UHHHhh I mean Very COOL. Damnit that means I really have to try harder now...man I hate work.
TIME HAS A WAY OF BITING YOU IN THE ASS...and proving the fact you should wear clean underwear
QUOTE OF THE DAY:
"LIFE IS STRANGE AND THEN YOU LIVE."
Nikki Sixx December 11, 1958 - present (although according to their biography "The Dirt" he did die on December 23, 1987, but was revived by paramedics)
Musician, Songwriter, Author, Photographer
OK, this is not the blog entry I had planned for today. I actually had a whole other thing planned, but I don't feel like writing it just yet. But will probably rear it's pretty ugly head by Friday/Saturday. Now what exactly does this purveyor of time wasting, procrastinating, and all around tom-foolery have in store for all (I say that like I have a HUGE readership when in truth there's like 2 maybe 3 people who read this, and one of them is my wife) of my spectators to the eventual train wreck that is my existence. A personal observation into my past, insight to present, and speculations to my future.
What exactly does that mean?
Well, let me lay down the ground work. I was not the most prolific high school attendee. I did graduate, although a year late because of my need to rebel against everything and the fact that I was really bored, from high school.
Much to the surprise of everybody who had absolutely no faith in me, but that's another story.
So Yes, I am a HS graduate, although, all my friends graduated when they were supposed to, and I didn't. You see I spent so much time at Hardee's and Jennifer's (and if you went to Waukesha South High School, you would know what I mean by this) that at the time I thought I was being cool. But what I hadn't realized, that by not graduating with my class, I would probably never see those people who had enriched my high school years and blessed me with something special and rare called friendship. Something I occasionally think about. I have spent most of my life right here in Waukesha arriving, raising hell and staying. I don't regret it. It's made me the man I am today, but I do wonder what happened to my classmates. I wonder what they're doing now, how much they have changed, if they remember me or even if they want to.
So today, I thought I'd check out the HS stuff on MySpace, and another realization hit me square in the jaw. I don't remember anybody from HS anymore. Oh sure there are a few people whose faces light a candle of thought, or a name that screams hello, but as a whole...not really. I wouldn't know what to say to them even if I did. I don't know, I'm just in this weird crazy funk tonight. It's like nostalgia is a nice feeling, but when I look back, it seems like I wasted a whole lot of time.
I honestly don't know where I'm going with this. I guess I'm just thinking (and typing) out loud trying to make some kind of sense of it all. I have been doing that a lot over the last few weeks. Trying to make sense out of the world and my place in it. I've been trying to figure out why so many things happen, and what I can do about it, or if I should. I guess it finally hit an apex tonight while I was here sitting on puter, smoking a cigarette, drinking a diet coke while listening to my wife sleep. I don't have any answers to my pondering, but I guess this is my life. Sharing incoherent thoughts with complete strangers, partaking in a vice, while my wife sleeps in the other room (whom I will be joining once I spell check and post). Well than I am one very lucky man. I guess I don't need much to make me happy. And it doesn't take much to make me sad or angry. I just need to be thankful for every breath I get, so that I am able to be happy, sad, angry or question the past, future, and the present.
Umm...I guess thanks for coming along tonight. I hope you guys (and gals) don't mind the occasional self musings once in a while. You know, it does help to think out loud once in a while. Until later...LATER!
"LIFE IS STRANGE AND THEN YOU LIVE."
Nikki Sixx December 11, 1958 - present (although according to their biography "The Dirt" he did die on December 23, 1987, but was revived by paramedics)
Musician, Songwriter, Author, Photographer
OK, this is not the blog entry I had planned for today. I actually had a whole other thing planned, but I don't feel like writing it just yet. But will probably rear it's pretty ugly head by Friday/Saturday. Now what exactly does this purveyor of time wasting, procrastinating, and all around tom-foolery have in store for all (I say that like I have a HUGE readership when in truth there's like 2 maybe 3 people who read this, and one of them is my wife) of my spectators to the eventual train wreck that is my existence. A personal observation into my past, insight to present, and speculations to my future.
What exactly does that mean?
Well, let me lay down the ground work. I was not the most prolific high school attendee. I did graduate, although a year late because of my need to rebel against everything and the fact that I was really bored, from high school.
Much to the surprise of everybody who had absolutely no faith in me, but that's another story.
So Yes, I am a HS graduate, although, all my friends graduated when they were supposed to, and I didn't. You see I spent so much time at Hardee's and Jennifer's (and if you went to Waukesha South High School, you would know what I mean by this) that at the time I thought I was being cool. But what I hadn't realized, that by not graduating with my class, I would probably never see those people who had enriched my high school years and blessed me with something special and rare called friendship. Something I occasionally think about. I have spent most of my life right here in Waukesha arriving, raising hell and staying. I don't regret it. It's made me the man I am today, but I do wonder what happened to my classmates. I wonder what they're doing now, how much they have changed, if they remember me or even if they want to.
So today, I thought I'd check out the HS stuff on MySpace, and another realization hit me square in the jaw. I don't remember anybody from HS anymore. Oh sure there are a few people whose faces light a candle of thought, or a name that screams hello, but as a whole...not really. I wouldn't know what to say to them even if I did. I don't know, I'm just in this weird crazy funk tonight. It's like nostalgia is a nice feeling, but when I look back, it seems like I wasted a whole lot of time.
I honestly don't know where I'm going with this. I guess I'm just thinking (and typing) out loud trying to make some kind of sense of it all. I have been doing that a lot over the last few weeks. Trying to make sense out of the world and my place in it. I've been trying to figure out why so many things happen, and what I can do about it, or if I should. I guess it finally hit an apex tonight while I was here sitting on puter, smoking a cigarette, drinking a diet coke while listening to my wife sleep. I don't have any answers to my pondering, but I guess this is my life. Sharing incoherent thoughts with complete strangers, partaking in a vice, while my wife sleeps in the other room (whom I will be joining once I spell check and post). Well than I am one very lucky man. I guess I don't need much to make me happy. And it doesn't take much to make me sad or angry. I just need to be thankful for every breath I get, so that I am able to be happy, sad, angry or question the past, future, and the present.
Umm...I guess thanks for coming along tonight. I hope you guys (and gals) don't mind the occasional self musings once in a while. You know, it does help to think out loud once in a while. Until later...LATER!
4/29/2007
A GREAT USE FOR BULLETINS aka feeling kinda lazy
QUOTE OF THE DAY:
"You can't teach people to be lazy - either they have it, or they don't."
Dagwood Bumstead
1930ish-present
a fictional character in the comic strip Blondie
Yuppers feeling lazy so here ya go....
me---
JUNE = PORN STAR
Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Brave and fearless. Always making friends. Very easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions. Unpredictable. Understanding. Fun to be around. Nympho-and an awesome lover too....makes u happy so that makes them happy...Outgoing. Hyper. Bubbly personality. Secretive .Boy/girl crazy. Loves sports, music, leisure and travelling. Systematic. Hot but has brains. If you repost this in 5 mins, a cutie that's caught your eye will introduce themselves and you will realize thatyou are very much alike in the next 2 days.
Season---
APRIL = PIMP
APRIL means that your really good looking. Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Shy towards opposite sex. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves travelling. Dislike being at home. Restless. having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. If you repost this in thenext 5 minutes, you will become close to someone you do not speak to much in the next 4 days.
Yeah...that kind of explains a lot. :-)
"You can't teach people to be lazy - either they have it, or they don't."
Dagwood Bumstead
1930ish-present
a fictional character in the comic strip Blondie
Yuppers feeling lazy so here ya go....
me---
JUNE = PORN STAR
Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Brave and fearless. Always making friends. Very easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions. Unpredictable. Understanding. Fun to be around. Nympho-and an awesome lover too....makes u happy so that makes them happy...Outgoing. Hyper. Bubbly personality. Secretive .Boy/girl crazy. Loves sports, music, leisure and travelling. Systematic. Hot but has brains. If you repost this in 5 mins, a cutie that's caught your eye will introduce themselves and you will realize thatyou are very much alike in the next 2 days.
Season---
APRIL = PIMP
APRIL means that your really good looking. Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Shy towards opposite sex. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves travelling. Dislike being at home. Restless. having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. If you repost this in thenext 5 minutes, you will become close to someone you do not speak to much in the next 4 days.
Yeah...that kind of explains a lot. :-)
ANOTHER THEFT OF AN ENTRY
QUOTE OF THE DAY:My life has been one great big joke,A dance that's walked,A song that's spoke,I laugh so hard I almost choke,When I think about myself.
April 4, 1928 - present
an American poet, memoirist, actress and an important figure in the American Civil Rights Movement
1. When's the last time you ran?
Never, I believe politics should be left for the politicians who want government jobs.
2. Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them?
Yes. I work in a metal fabricating joint, if they aint ripped, they are my wife's
3. What are you hating right now?
That I'm a second shifter who is used to going to sleep at 4-5 AM while my first shift wife crashes no later than 11 PM
4. Do you celebrate 4/20?
April 20th...umm let me check...nope...nothing at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/April_20 that I would celebrate.
5. Only child?
No...immature maybe but a fully grown man
6. Favorite ice cream?Hmm...cold
7. When was your last doctor's visit?
Last doctors visit...umm...won't that be when I die?
8. Do you get the full 8 hours of sleep?
sure...just not in a row
9. How many brothers and sisters do you have?1 step-brother 1 half sister
10. "First Loves Are Never Over;"
this isn't a question
11. Think of all your exes. Would you take any of them back?
Back where?
12. If anyone came to your house on your "lazy days" what would u be wearing?
The pajama's god gave me
13. Have you ever stayed online for a very long time waiting for some one?
Sure...usually on my day off, and waiting for my wife to get home from work
14. Are you cocky?
yes...being a guy and all
15. Where do you work?
Well AT work...duh
16. Reading any good books?
not at this moment, at this moment I am answering this MEME
17. Do you collect anything?
Yes
18. How many states have you been to?
Quite a few...state of confusion, state of euphoria etc.
19. Where is your next vacation?
Usually when I'm away from work.
20. Where was your first kiss?
I don't know, I guess when I was born
21. Last thing you got in the mail?
I usually don't get any "thing" in the mail...usually I get letters, bills, flyers, but no "thing" as of yet
22. Do you like snakes?
I got nothing against them
23. Dream job?
Sometimes, when I'm asleep
24. How many email accounts do you have?
2
25. Ever done a Chinese fire drill?
No, and I never will...what kind of pervert do you think I am
26. Favorite guilty pleasure?
sure
27. Won any awards?
nope
28. Farthest you've been from home?
Most of my life...I only came home the night Season and I shared our first embrace
29. If you could marry any celebrity, who would it be?
None...I'm married already, and I'm not a mormon.
30. Could you live without a computer?
Sure can...it's food, water and air that I can't live without
31. Do you wear your shoes in the house?
no..not really
32. Are you a neat freak?
Nope...I'm a Mexican
34. How many phones, house phones and cell phones are in your house?
2
35. What do you do when you're sad?
Usually feel bad, maybe cry a little
36. Who would you call first if you won the lottery?
An accountant
37. Last time you saw your best friend?
Umm...this would have to go with Doctor question...so I guess it would have to be sometime in the future
38. Can you cook?
Sure can
39. What shampoo do you use?
Well I guess it would be shampoo for humans...I can't ever see myself using something for dogs, cats, or horses anytime soon
40. Who or what sleeps with you?
Umm just some cats and sometimes my wife...why what have you heard? It's a lie, a damn lie, I tell you.
41. Are you/have you ever been in love?
Yes
42. Pancakes or French toast?
You know...someone has got to come up with better questions...adding a question mark doesn't make it a question, it just makes you seem kind of stupid
43. How do you like your eggs?
They're ok, not much into conversation though
44. Are you in highschool?
No, I'm at home.
45. Is anyone on your bad side right now?
Since I was blessed with the beauty of the gods, I don't have a bad side
46. What jewelry are you wearing?
A wedding band
47. What's the first thing you do when you get online?
Well since technically I use road runner, I'm always online, so I guess it would be opening up IE
48. Been outside the country?
Yup...been to the city a few times in my life
49. Do you watch Grey's Anatomy?
Yup...been a Fan of Erin Grey for a long time
50. How do most people spell/say your name?
Usually incorrectly
51. Would you wear a boy/girlfriends clothes?
Sure why not
52. Most exotic food ever eaten?
Umm if I were to say my wife would that be wrong?
53. Do you know the words to the song on your profile?
Sometimes...I mean if it's english than sure, if it's in another language, than I might catch a word here and there
54. What was the first movie that gave you nightmares?
The Omen (the frikken original is still the best)
55. Favorite magazine?
Never heard of it.
56. Favorite 80s teen movie?
Breakfast Club
57. Is Justin Timberlake becoming the next Michael Jackson?
Umm I would have to say no to this only because Justin is already white.
58. Do you know someone that wasn't born in the United States?
Sure do
59. Favorite name for a girl? for a boy?
Katrin and Kyle
60. Will you keep your last name when you get married?
Sure did
61. Your favorite restaurant you don't get to eat much at?
Well if I don't get to eat much than it wouldn't be my favorite restaurant, I prefer a place where you can eat all you're willing to pay for
62. When is the last time you left your house?
Yesterday
63. Is the hokey pokey really what it's all about?
Well it says so in the song
64. First car?
Designed by Nicholas Joseph Cugnot and constructed by M. Brezin in 1769 ( I looked it up...and added a pic)
65. Least favorite chore?
chore
1. a small or odd job; routine task.
2. chores, the everyday work around a house or farm.
3. a hard or unpleasant task: Solving the problem was quite a chore. <---this one would be my least favorite
66. How do you eat your steak?
With my mouth
67. Do you return your cart?
No...it's mine, and there's nothing wrong with it
68. Craziest thing you've seen?
I don't know...probably something on some porn site
69. Do you have a dishwasher?
You bet I do...and it's awesome. It even has multiple uses, like for example right now it's typing
70. What noise do you hear?
Usually sound
71. Would you survive in prison?
Sure I guess...I'd be somebodies bitch
72. Next concert you hope to go to?
Umm...soon
73. What was the last thing you ate?
Don't know yet...but if given a choice I would hope it would be dinner
74. When was the last time you said I love you and meant it?
Right before my wife went to bed
75. Who is the youngest in your family?
Probably one of the babies
76. If all of your friends were going on a road trip, who would be most likely to over pack?
Why would this matter? Aren't there going to be stores and malls and shopping centers where we are going? AND If someone overpacks doesn't that mean that someone will under pack
77. Do you know anyone with the same name as you?
Yes and no...personally no...but some famous painter does, but I don't "know" him.
78. Do you cut coupons?
Nope...I usually cut "OUT" coupons, that way I can still use them
79. Least favorite food?
Umm...that's a good question
80. When is the last time you ate peanut butter?
I don't know I can't see into the future.
81. Next wedding you'll attend?
Don't know
82. What's for dinner?
That's what I ask my wife every night.
83. What's the last thing you purchased?
I usually purchase goods, not things
84. Do your siblings ever pay for anything for you?
Yup they usually pay after I have refied beans for a meal
85. Where is your cell phone?
In the glove compartment of my car
86. Is your phone on vibrate or ring?
neither, the batteries are so dead they don't even charge anymore
87. What brand are your pants right now?
What pants?
88. Ever been to Georgia?
No sir, I haven't
89. Did you do breakfast this morning?
NO, WHAT KIND OF PERVERT DO YOU THINK I AM?
90. Do you like marshmallows?
Sure do
91. What irritates you the most?
STUPID PEOPLE
92. What brand is your digital camera?
Kodak
93. Do you watch movies with your parents?
Sure do
94. What song describes your life right now?
Right now...Up All Night by Slaughter
95. Ever got caught doing something you shouldn't be doing?
Sure have
96. First thing you do in the morning?
Still working, looking at the clock hoping I don't have to stay later
97. Do you own expensive perfume/cologne?
No sir I don't
98. Are you taking college classes right now?
No sir I'm n0t
99. Who are you dating right now?
Well I guess technically it would be my wife, but since at this moment I'm just typing it would be no one
100. Do you want to live to be 100?
I sure do
101. Do you like sushi?
Yes I love her very much (my wife will get a kick out of this answer)
102. Do you get your hair cut every month?
No sir I do not
4/27/2007
OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES
QUOTE OF THE DAY:
"When I was born, I was so surprised I couldn't talk for a year and a half."
Gracie Allen July 26, 1895 – August 27, 1964
An American comedian who became internationally famous as the zany partner and comic foil of husband George Burns.
Well every once in a while I get some kind of news that makes me smile. This time it comes in the form of an e-mail...or a set of e-mails. One of the memebers of The Estrogen Clan of the Northwoods (my up until this moment mental name for "The Girls") aka my wife and her 6 best friends from grade school/high school, sent an e-mail out which was then forwarded to me. Well, after that similar stories started coming forth and I found it too funny not to post. So here you go...in order as to how I recieved them...
E-mail 1
So, I just wanted to let everyone know that according to Mac, after I told her to take a time out, she moved her little three year old body to the stairs and emphatically screamed
"You're ruining my life!"
(Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaatttttt? Did she say what I think she said?????)
I have no idea where that one came from...!!!!! Isn't it funny that this kid o' mine can't pronounce the word, "cat"- but....she can hollar out "You're ruining my life"?
I just thought this might make everyone's day....have a good one....
And...if you're as good a parent as I am...maybe YOU, TOO can ruin someone's life!!!!Ha!
FYI, after Dave came home....yadayada....Dave's ruined her life,too! (equal opportunity!)
E-mail 2
Our dinner conversation tonight was Grant asking about the middle finger. Aparently it was the topic of conversation in 1st grade today and what does each finger mean. I informed Grant that if the teacher called home about him using any of his fingers besides his thumb's up he would be in trouble.
I then had a conversation with another mom straight outof The Christmas Story movie about kids learning that word and she might want to talk to her kids too, but I was not surewhere it started.
E-Mail 3
I can also tell you its very disconcerting when you own 10 year old child refers to his testicles as "man berries"!
I promise you he did not learn that from me!!!!!:0)
E-Mail 4
Well, Ian turned 5 yesterday...he told me that his daycare provider is a "pain in the ass" (which she is) and that one ofhis friends parents was "being an idiot" (which she was)...
I agreed but told him not to say that about others; he agreed that now that he's 5 he won't say mean things about others, just ignore them and their dumb behavior (I couldn't argue with that)...
his vocab also consists of "inconceivable", "concern" (instead of worry), infamous (which he doesn't want to be...hewould rather be famous), "infuriating", "intoxicating" (his girlfriend, Emily, is this)...
argh!!!! I have got to stop readingto this child!!!!!! ha ha
Still, he does call his testicles his testicles, but there are a lot of other things that he definitely learned from me that could be ranked right up there with "man berries'!
Oh, we don't "ruin his life", but we "anger him" where he "just can't tolerate us" anymore. Ian did flip us off at a restaurant one night in front of our pastor and his family. We explained it was bad...
he learned it from an older boy at daycare...
always a joy!
E-mail 5
Thanks for the laughs, you crazy mommies!
Xavier is being silly, too. His favorite responses to requests from Mom & Dad that he is not wild about are as follows:
I don't think so.
I'm not quite ready.
I'm too busy.
And the last two - accompanied with his toy cell phone as a prop:
Please don't interrupt me, I'm on my cell phone.
Shhh! Be quiet - I'm on a business call.
Dad and Mom apparently are spending too much time on the cell phones.
whoops!
Thankfully, he hasn't learned any terms for the male anatomy except for the medical terms - I know that will be a coffee through the nose kind of funny when it happens!
and that my friends is what my wife shares with me on a daily basis. I am such a lucky man.
"When I was born, I was so surprised I couldn't talk for a year and a half."
Gracie Allen July 26, 1895 – August 27, 1964
An American comedian who became internationally famous as the zany partner and comic foil of husband George Burns.
Well every once in a while I get some kind of news that makes me smile. This time it comes in the form of an e-mail...or a set of e-mails. One of the memebers of The Estrogen Clan of the Northwoods (my up until this moment mental name for "The Girls") aka my wife and her 6 best friends from grade school/high school, sent an e-mail out which was then forwarded to me. Well, after that similar stories started coming forth and I found it too funny not to post. So here you go...in order as to how I recieved them...
E-mail 1
So, I just wanted to let everyone know that according to Mac, after I told her to take a time out, she moved her little three year old body to the stairs and emphatically screamed
"You're ruining my life!"
(Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaatttttt? Did she say what I think she said?????)
I have no idea where that one came from...!!!!! Isn't it funny that this kid o' mine can't pronounce the word, "cat"- but....she can hollar out "You're ruining my life"?
I just thought this might make everyone's day....have a good one....
And...if you're as good a parent as I am...maybe YOU, TOO can ruin someone's life!!!!Ha!
FYI, after Dave came home....yadayada....Dave's ruined her life,too! (equal opportunity!)
E-mail 2
Our dinner conversation tonight was Grant asking about the middle finger. Aparently it was the topic of conversation in 1st grade today and what does each finger mean. I informed Grant that if the teacher called home about him using any of his fingers besides his thumb's up he would be in trouble.
I then had a conversation with another mom straight outof The Christmas Story movie about kids learning that word and she might want to talk to her kids too, but I was not surewhere it started.
E-Mail 3
I can also tell you its very disconcerting when you own 10 year old child refers to his testicles as "man berries"!
I promise you he did not learn that from me!!!!!:0)
E-Mail 4
Well, Ian turned 5 yesterday...he told me that his daycare provider is a "pain in the ass" (which she is) and that one ofhis friends parents was "being an idiot" (which she was)...
I agreed but told him not to say that about others; he agreed that now that he's 5 he won't say mean things about others, just ignore them and their dumb behavior (I couldn't argue with that)...
his vocab also consists of "inconceivable", "concern" (instead of worry), infamous (which he doesn't want to be...hewould rather be famous), "infuriating", "intoxicating" (his girlfriend, Emily, is this)...
argh!!!! I have got to stop readingto this child!!!!!! ha ha
Still, he does call his testicles his testicles, but there are a lot of other things that he definitely learned from me that could be ranked right up there with "man berries'!
Oh, we don't "ruin his life", but we "anger him" where he "just can't tolerate us" anymore. Ian did flip us off at a restaurant one night in front of our pastor and his family. We explained it was bad...
he learned it from an older boy at daycare...
always a joy!
E-mail 5
Thanks for the laughs, you crazy mommies!
Xavier is being silly, too. His favorite responses to requests from Mom & Dad that he is not wild about are as follows:
I don't think so.
I'm not quite ready.
I'm too busy.
And the last two - accompanied with his toy cell phone as a prop:
Please don't interrupt me, I'm on my cell phone.
Shhh! Be quiet - I'm on a business call.
Dad and Mom apparently are spending too much time on the cell phones.
whoops!
Thankfully, he hasn't learned any terms for the male anatomy except for the medical terms - I know that will be a coffee through the nose kind of funny when it happens!
and that my friends is what my wife shares with me on a daily basis. I am such a lucky man.
4/26/2007
IT'S BEEN A YEAR
QUOTE OF THE DAY:
So many ways to say, "I love you",
never enough to say how much.
Cameron Rand
Today is the third happiest day of my life. The first happened 2 years ago, when we admitted to each other how much we needed and loved each other. The second was a year ago, when we became man and wife. And now this, today is my first wedding anniversary. It's something I have always wanted to say, I just never thought I would be able to, and now I can't seem to stop saying it. I love my life. I love my wife. I love my life with my wife.
That's all. Be back later. I need to be with that special someone who enriches everyday of my existence. I need to be with my best friend, my partner, my lover and who also happens to be my wife. I love you sweetheart. One down, forever more to go.
So many ways to say, "I love you",
never enough to say how much.
Cameron Rand
Today is the third happiest day of my life. The first happened 2 years ago, when we admitted to each other how much we needed and loved each other. The second was a year ago, when we became man and wife. And now this, today is my first wedding anniversary. It's something I have always wanted to say, I just never thought I would be able to, and now I can't seem to stop saying it. I love my life. I love my wife. I love my life with my wife.
That's all. Be back later. I need to be with that special someone who enriches everyday of my existence. I need to be with my best friend, my partner, my lover and who also happens to be my wife. I love you sweetheart. One down, forever more to go.
4/25/2007
SORRY...
Sorry for the lapse in postings...April has a "happiest day of my life" moment, but it also has a very sad day moment.
Rocky, my chinchilla died 2 years ago. I still miss him. When I come home at night there are times when I remind myself that it's time for his snack or his dust bath, only to remember he's not here anymore. It's been 2 years and I stIll miss him. A LOT.
April is also the month when I first kissed my wife, and who a year later I married. I still can't believe it's been 2 years since our life started. I am happy and grateful for every moment we have had and for every moment we will have.
Like I said, April is a tough time for me. I'll be back, soon.
Rocky, my chinchilla died 2 years ago. I still miss him. When I come home at night there are times when I remind myself that it's time for his snack or his dust bath, only to remember he's not here anymore. It's been 2 years and I stIll miss him. A LOT.
April is also the month when I first kissed my wife, and who a year later I married. I still can't believe it's been 2 years since our life started. I am happy and grateful for every moment we have had and for every moment we will have.
Like I said, April is a tough time for me. I'll be back, soon.
4/19/2007
Just some fun news...
I actually meant to post this some time ago, and than a funny thing happened. Season told me about a recent development, which refreshed the noggin which leads to this little post. One of Season's best friends runs a resort up in Hazelhurst WI, (it's pretty close to the North Pole...or at least in winter it sure as hell feels that way), well any way they have this ice out contest....
ICE OUT CONTEST
and this year some fun things happened...for example
"touched by the flame of fame"
well of course fame is never truly a fleeting momen, when you got the goods to be a celebrity...
"the flame burns brighter still"
now I truly hope that that Cliff doesn't fall into that celebrity pit trap. I hope we never see a clothing malfunction at the Superbowl or on the Red Carpet. Or Paris Hilton-esque type escapades.
Just a little thing to smile about.
ICE OUT CONTEST
and this year some fun things happened...for example
"touched by the flame of fame"
well of course fame is never truly a fleeting momen, when you got the goods to be a celebrity...
"the flame burns brighter still"
now I truly hope that that Cliff doesn't fall into that celebrity pit trap. I hope we never see a clothing malfunction at the Superbowl or on the Red Carpet. Or Paris Hilton-esque type escapades.
Just a little thing to smile about.
4/17/2007
A THOUGHT CAME INTO MY HEAD
OK, every once in a while, I'll have this thought in my head, well actually it's more of a question that leads to more questions. I usually torture my wonderful wife with it, but I figured that there enough people in the World Wide Webpublic that I put my question to you...
here it is...
Everybody wants the "illegal" immigrants to leave the U.S.A. correct?
Well how far do we go back?
Do we go back just a few days, months, years, decades, centuries or eons?
So considering most people came by choice, when there was no goverment...except for the rules and customs of the natives then are they illegal immigrants, considering they never asked permission to come here?
What if you were brought here against your will?
Are slaves technically immigrants?
If not does that mean only the decendents of those people are allowed, because to migrate means to move from one place to another, but if your forced does that still apply?
Now if we keep this train of thought going...so that means if you moved here, were brought here, ran away to here, before this was a named country...but wait a second...didn't the natives have a name for this country, so didn't we violate their laws?
So does that mean we have to go back that far...or wait...didn't the natives migrate here from some other place, so doesn't that make them illegal also?
So if tecnically everybody is an illegal immigrant...than who is legal?
Just some questions to ponder...
here it is...
Everybody wants the "illegal" immigrants to leave the U.S.A. correct?
Well how far do we go back?
Do we go back just a few days, months, years, decades, centuries or eons?
So considering most people came by choice, when there was no goverment...except for the rules and customs of the natives then are they illegal immigrants, considering they never asked permission to come here?
What if you were brought here against your will?
Are slaves technically immigrants?
If not does that mean only the decendents of those people are allowed, because to migrate means to move from one place to another, but if your forced does that still apply?
Now if we keep this train of thought going...so that means if you moved here, were brought here, ran away to here, before this was a named country...but wait a second...didn't the natives have a name for this country, so didn't we violate their laws?
So does that mean we have to go back that far...or wait...didn't the natives migrate here from some other place, so doesn't that make them illegal also?
So if tecnically everybody is an illegal immigrant...than who is legal?
Just some questions to ponder...
4/11/2007
GOT THE TIME TICK TICKIN IN MY HEAD
QUOTE OF THE DAY:
"Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time; for that's the stuff life is made of."
Benjamin Franklin
author, political theorist, politician, printer, scientist, inventor, civic activist, and diplomat
January 17, 1706 – April 17, 1790
Time is an amazing thing. You never seem to have enough of it, but when you stop and look back, you realize how much has passed you by. In 15 days I will celebrate my first wedding anniversary. Which means for some reason Season has stayed married to me for 365 days as my wife and 730 days since we started dating, and it's been one amazing journey.
As with any journey there have been obstacles, that somehow we have overcome. We've had our share of rough times along the way. We have also shared some great times. There have been some truly heart wrenching moments, along with moments of absolute bliss.
And to believe it all started with a 2 people who were above all things friends first. Who shared a dance, then later a kiss and who have never been apart since.
This has just been something I've been thinking about all night. Just wanted to share.
"Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time; for that's the stuff life is made of."
Benjamin Franklin
author, political theorist, politician, printer, scientist, inventor, civic activist, and diplomat
January 17, 1706 – April 17, 1790
Time is an amazing thing. You never seem to have enough of it, but when you stop and look back, you realize how much has passed you by. In 15 days I will celebrate my first wedding anniversary. Which means for some reason Season has stayed married to me for 365 days as my wife and 730 days since we started dating, and it's been one amazing journey.
As with any journey there have been obstacles, that somehow we have overcome. We've had our share of rough times along the way. We have also shared some great times. There have been some truly heart wrenching moments, along with moments of absolute bliss.
And to believe it all started with a 2 people who were above all things friends first. Who shared a dance, then later a kiss and who have never been apart since.
This has just been something I've been thinking about all night. Just wanted to share.
4/06/2007
WISCONSIN FRIENDS
FRIENDS: Tell you not to do something stupid when drunkWisconsin
FRIENDS: Will post 360 degree security so you dont get caught
---------------------------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and MrsWisconsin
FRIENDS: Call your parents drunk as hell and tell them about the fat chick you tried to pick up
--------------------------------------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Hope the night out drinking goes smoothly, and hope that no one is late for the ride home.
Wisconsin FRIENDS: Know some wild shit will happen, and if you cant find the ride fuck ya
---------------------------------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
Wisconsin FRIENDS: Will be sitting next to you saying, Damn...that shit was fun "
------------------------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Cry with you.
Wisconsin FRIENDS: laugh at you
---------------------------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Are happy that someone picked up a one night stand and leave them alone.
Wisconsin FRIENDS: Will Crawl naked into the room with a camera and hope for the tag team.
--------------------------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
Wisconsin FRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.
------------------------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that ' s what the crowd is doing.
Wisconsin FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.
--------------------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Would knock on your door.
Wisconsin FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, "I'm home!"
----------------------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Will try and talk to the bouncer when you get tossed out of the bar.
Wisconsin FRIENDS: Will buck up and go after the bouncer for touching you on the way out.
-------------------------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Will wish you had enough money to go out that night, and are sorry you couldn't come.
Wisconsin FRIENDS: Will share their last dollar with you, drag you along, and try to steal free drinks all night.
-----------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.
Wisconsin FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say, "You better drink the rest of that shit, you know we don't waste. That's alcohol abuse!!!" HAHAHAHA !!!!
------------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Want the money they loaned you back next week.
Wisconsin Friends: Can't begin to remember who owes who money after taking care of each other for so long.
---------------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Will say "I can't handle Tequila anymore".
Wisconsin FRIENDS: Will say "okay, just one more..." and then 2 minutes later "okay, just one more!".
-------------------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
Wisconsin FRIENDS: Will knock them the Fuck out!!
-------------------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Will tell you "They'd take a bullet for you."
Wisconsin FRIENDS: Would shoot back at someone
----------------------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Will stop you from smashing beer cans on your head
Wisconsin Friends: Will egg you on until your head bleeds and laugh at the scabs and bruises the next morning.
----------------------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Will say they thought about pushing you in the hot tub float at the parade in 30 degree weather
Wisconsin Friends: Will actually push you in, make sure you stay in, then laugh an hour latter when you finally walk back with no shirt and early signs of hypothermia
----------------------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Will ignore this
Wisconsin FRIENDS: Will repost this
FRIENDS: Will post 360 degree security so you dont get caught
---------------------------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and MrsWisconsin
FRIENDS: Call your parents drunk as hell and tell them about the fat chick you tried to pick up
--------------------------------------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Hope the night out drinking goes smoothly, and hope that no one is late for the ride home.
Wisconsin FRIENDS: Know some wild shit will happen, and if you cant find the ride fuck ya
---------------------------------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
Wisconsin FRIENDS: Will be sitting next to you saying, Damn...that shit was fun "
------------------------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Cry with you.
Wisconsin FRIENDS: laugh at you
---------------------------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Are happy that someone picked up a one night stand and leave them alone.
Wisconsin FRIENDS: Will Crawl naked into the room with a camera and hope for the tag team.
--------------------------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
Wisconsin FRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.
------------------------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that ' s what the crowd is doing.
Wisconsin FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.
--------------------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Would knock on your door.
Wisconsin FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, "I'm home!"
----------------------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Will try and talk to the bouncer when you get tossed out of the bar.
Wisconsin FRIENDS: Will buck up and go after the bouncer for touching you on the way out.
-------------------------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Will wish you had enough money to go out that night, and are sorry you couldn't come.
Wisconsin FRIENDS: Will share their last dollar with you, drag you along, and try to steal free drinks all night.
-----------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.
Wisconsin FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say, "You better drink the rest of that shit, you know we don't waste. That's alcohol abuse!!!" HAHAHAHA !!!!
------------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Want the money they loaned you back next week.
Wisconsin Friends: Can't begin to remember who owes who money after taking care of each other for so long.
---------------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Will say "I can't handle Tequila anymore".
Wisconsin FRIENDS: Will say "okay, just one more..." and then 2 minutes later "okay, just one more!".
-------------------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
Wisconsin FRIENDS: Will knock them the Fuck out!!
-------------------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Will tell you "They'd take a bullet for you."
Wisconsin FRIENDS: Would shoot back at someone
----------------------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Will stop you from smashing beer cans on your head
Wisconsin Friends: Will egg you on until your head bleeds and laugh at the scabs and bruises the next morning.
----------------------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Will say they thought about pushing you in the hot tub float at the parade in 30 degree weather
Wisconsin Friends: Will actually push you in, make sure you stay in, then laugh an hour latter when you finally walk back with no shirt and early signs of hypothermia
----------------------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Will ignore this
Wisconsin FRIENDS: Will repost this
SORRY...DUSTING OFF THE SOAP BOX
Usually I read something and I can do one of the following:
Learn from it
Laugh at it
Ignore it.
BUT, every once in a while I need to say something. Now a while back I would have named who did it and just light a flame so high god himself (herself for the feminists, goddess for the wiccans, Allah for the Muslims...you get the idea) wouldn't be able to fart without causing a little methane explosion. But I have since grown up a bit...mainly it takes too much energy to keep a flame war going and it's just not worth it.
So it comes down to this comment made
"If you weigh 300 lbs, you are not beautiful. You have serious issues that you need to fix."
Now as I usually state "I am not a smart man nor am I a wise man but...".
This is one of those moments.
Isn't beauty a fluid perception? One viewer sees an object while another sees art? Isn't beauty subjective to persons point of view? But to make a statement like that is an insult. I guess in a time when people take so much time to play judge and jury (including myself, but I am working on it...A LOT), we forget that there are real people with very real feelings and emotions that can be hurt by such comments. I know I am at fault for my own snap judgements but they usually stay inside my head, where there is a little Jose who starts to point out my own flaws.
This just upsets me. There is no such thing as a perfect person. That's one of those things that makes this such a wonderful world. We are this huge patchwork quilt of fuckedupness that creates a world filled with color, flavor, awe and wonder. It's the one thing we all have in common. We are all, so totally and completely fucked up in our own way. No one is perfect. We are all flawed creations. It really is a good thing. If we were perfect there would be nothing to drive to better ourselves (and sadly for a lot of us, there still isn't anything to drive us to better ourselves).
This world already has people who spend time and energy tearing each other down (even within our respective communities) that we forget 2 simple facts. We all live on the same planet and that we will die on this planet (yes...I know the whole astronaut and space travel thing will change that someday...but not today).
So please next time think before making a blanket statement like that...because there may be someone who's talking about you the same way, and I still wouldn't like it or approve of it.
Learn from it
Laugh at it
Ignore it.
BUT, every once in a while I need to say something. Now a while back I would have named who did it and just light a flame so high god himself (herself for the feminists, goddess for the wiccans, Allah for the Muslims...you get the idea) wouldn't be able to fart without causing a little methane explosion. But I have since grown up a bit...mainly it takes too much energy to keep a flame war going and it's just not worth it.
So it comes down to this comment made
"If you weigh 300 lbs, you are not beautiful. You have serious issues that you need to fix."
Now as I usually state "I am not a smart man nor am I a wise man but...".
This is one of those moments.
Isn't beauty a fluid perception? One viewer sees an object while another sees art? Isn't beauty subjective to persons point of view? But to make a statement like that is an insult. I guess in a time when people take so much time to play judge and jury (including myself, but I am working on it...A LOT), we forget that there are real people with very real feelings and emotions that can be hurt by such comments. I know I am at fault for my own snap judgements but they usually stay inside my head, where there is a little Jose who starts to point out my own flaws.
This just upsets me. There is no such thing as a perfect person. That's one of those things that makes this such a wonderful world. We are this huge patchwork quilt of fuckedupness that creates a world filled with color, flavor, awe and wonder. It's the one thing we all have in common. We are all, so totally and completely fucked up in our own way. No one is perfect. We are all flawed creations. It really is a good thing. If we were perfect there would be nothing to drive to better ourselves (and sadly for a lot of us, there still isn't anything to drive us to better ourselves).
This world already has people who spend time and energy tearing each other down (even within our respective communities) that we forget 2 simple facts. We all live on the same planet and that we will die on this planet (yes...I know the whole astronaut and space travel thing will change that someday...but not today).
So please next time think before making a blanket statement like that...because there may be someone who's talking about you the same way, and I still wouldn't like it or approve of it.
WHY OH WHY?- THE RAMBLINGS OF SOMEONE WITH A LITTLE TOO MUCH TIME ON HIS HANDS.
“I'll not willingly offend, Nor be easily offended; What's amiss I'll strive to mend, And endure what can't be mended”
Isaac Watts
English hymn writer, July 17, 1674 – November 25, 1748
So today my wife and I had this conversation
Season-"Jose' why must all your profile pics be of someone giving the middle finger?"
Jose- "Because I find it funny. And it's my social commentary on the current state of affairs."
Season- "Aren't you afraid of offending anyone?"
Jose- "Honey, you do read my blogs right? If they aren't offended by what I write, how in the blue hell could they be offended by a drawn character with a middle finger proudly displayed?"
Season- "But they might not read your blog if the first thing they see is a pic of someone flipping them off."
Jose- "But I'm not flipping them off...I'm flipping of the establishment."
Season- "But they don't know that."
Jose- "but....uhh...TOUCHE'. You know honey, I hate it when you use logic to disarm my illogical behavior. See that's your problem, you confuse the issue by using facts and logic."
Season- "Yeah, whatever, take out the garbage."
Which oddly is how most of our discussions go. This was just something I wanted to share with you all.
So with that said how the hell is everyone today? No one slapped the hell out of someone who badly deserved it? No one killed anyone, chopped up their bodies, put the remains into a cheap K-Mart trunk with lots of little holes (so that the little critters can go in there and eat away at the corpse), put the trunk in a swamp, bog, or marsh with rocks in the bottom so that the trunk would sink to the bottom to never be found again? I mean I know the readers of this blog would already know how to get rid of bodies and get away with a perfect crime. So this would be labeled under "rhetorical and slightly sarcastic question."
I know this seems like a gruesome segue, and I'll get to my point in my usual long winded way. I was watching Penn and Tellers-Bullshit!, and it happened to be about one of my favorite topics in the world. Actually I should say my favorite two topics in the world. It was a show on breasts...well actually Breast Hysteria. Which simply translates to this:
Isaac Watts
English hymn writer, July 17, 1674 – November 25, 1748
So today my wife and I had this conversation
Season-"Jose' why must all your profile pics be of someone giving the middle finger?"
Jose- "Because I find it funny. And it's my social commentary on the current state of affairs."
Season- "Aren't you afraid of offending anyone?"
Jose- "Honey, you do read my blogs right? If they aren't offended by what I write, how in the blue hell could they be offended by a drawn character with a middle finger proudly displayed?"
Season- "But they might not read your blog if the first thing they see is a pic of someone flipping them off."
Jose- "But I'm not flipping them off...I'm flipping of the establishment."
Season- "But they don't know that."
Jose- "but....uhh...TOUCHE'. You know honey, I hate it when you use logic to disarm my illogical behavior. See that's your problem, you confuse the issue by using facts and logic."
Season- "Yeah, whatever, take out the garbage."
Which oddly is how most of our discussions go. This was just something I wanted to share with you all.
So with that said how the hell is everyone today? No one slapped the hell out of someone who badly deserved it? No one killed anyone, chopped up their bodies, put the remains into a cheap K-Mart trunk with lots of little holes (so that the little critters can go in there and eat away at the corpse), put the trunk in a swamp, bog, or marsh with rocks in the bottom so that the trunk would sink to the bottom to never be found again? I mean I know the readers of this blog would already know how to get rid of bodies and get away with a perfect crime. So this would be labeled under "rhetorical and slightly sarcastic question."
I know this seems like a gruesome segue, and I'll get to my point in my usual long winded way. I was watching Penn and Tellers-Bullshit!, and it happened to be about one of my favorite topics in the world. Actually I should say my favorite two topics in the world. It was a show on breasts...well actually Breast Hysteria. Which simply translates to this:
- Why do people make a big deal about breasts feeding?
- Why is breast feeding considered to be just as wrong as Paris Hilton nipple slip? (thas a quote from the show)
- Why do people forget that breasts do serve a real purpose (well other than making some men and some women drool)?
- But for me...what's the big deal? They're breasts. Many women already show most of their naughty pillows. I mean when a neckline extends to the belly button, people are going to look. Be patient, the trunk theme will make itself clear.
Well after watching this I started thinking about history. You know, it was illegal for women to show legs of during the Victorian era (roughly 1830's through the early 1900's). Also as late as the 1960's-70's it was indecent for women to show off their navels. Now I'm not a smart man nor am I a wise man but I do have some questions to ask.
Now obviously people who flash their goodies for the whole world to see, unless it's a legally designated nudity is allowed area, is considered a criminal. I say this because if they are caught flashing or showing their god given pajamas, there are tickets, fines, and/or jail time correct?
So we spend some of the tax money prosecuting these law breakers, right?
They than do their time and pay their fine, right? (except in areas of the world where the law is much stricter and the punishment does NOT necessarily fit the crime...just my opinion)
I'm guessing that during certain events of the year in many places all over the world this is happening, and many are caught, right?
Yet you never hear of a celebrity on the red carpet get a ticket for the "accidental" exposure of their yum yums even though, thanks to the paparazzi, there is evidence for all the world to see, right?
And O.J. can literally get away with murder, even though they had the evidence, right?
Then write a book on it, right?
So I guess what you have to do is become famous so you can show off your junk, kill someone, and get away with it, than write a book and make money over this, right?
Just something to think about.
4/05/2007
WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE MEN OF TOMORROW?
QUOTE OF THE DAY:
"And Lord knows, kids like Henry need a hero. Courageous, self-sacrificing people. Setting examples for all of us. Everybody loves a hero. People line up for them, cheer them, scream their names. And years later, they'll tell how they stood in the rain for hours just to get a glimpse of the one who taught them how to hold on a second longer. I believe there's a hero in all of us, that keeps us honest, gives us strength, makes us noble, and finally allows us to die with pride"
Spider-Man 2 (2004), Rosemary Harris
I was thinking about my past last night, and what I wanted to be when I "grew up". Then I started thinking about heroes...not the TV show on NBC, but the real life inspirations to the child that eventually grew up to be me. I remember wanting to be a teacher because my first and second grade teacher was so helpful to this kid who was to antsy to sit still, and so eager to learn everything. I remember wanting to be the Lone Ranger because he always fought for what was right and just. I wanted to be Bruce Jenner because he was an incredible athlete. I wanted to be Jumping Jim Brunzell because he was my "absolute favorite wrestler". When I was 5-6 years old I needed heroes like these. Someone to set a standard so that I, as a kid, would have an idea of what a "grown up" should be. Back then stars. celebrities and athletes, whether or not they wanted to be, did know that they were in fact role models and heroes to many children and adults.
But as I grew older my heroes changed. Soon it wasn't about the men and women who made the world a better place, but men and women who made their own paths, regardless of the consequences. I went from positive role models to anti-heroes. I talked a little about it yesterday.
Then as I grew older yet, stars, athletes, and celebrities now claim that they are not heroes or role models. They state that they are who they want to be and it's not their fault if some kid emulates them. Now I admit that this is partly true. But to deny that they have no influence on us is just a cop out. Or who knows maybe I'm wrong.
Maybe there are no more heroes to look up to. Maybe there never were. Maybe I was just a delusional child that thought that there were people out there who would teach us to be better human being by their actions and their words.
Or maybe there are no more heroes for me as an adult. Maybe I've grown disillusioned by the fact that too many people now only think of themselves, and at times that includes myself.
Maybe the only real fact is that as a child I looked for those great qualities that would steer us all into superb human beings in outside avenues, because back than, everything was pretty much cut and dry, the heroes WERE the good guys. I guess back then we were allowed to believe in that.
Sometimes I really miss back then.
"And Lord knows, kids like Henry need a hero. Courageous, self-sacrificing people. Setting examples for all of us. Everybody loves a hero. People line up for them, cheer them, scream their names. And years later, they'll tell how they stood in the rain for hours just to get a glimpse of the one who taught them how to hold on a second longer. I believe there's a hero in all of us, that keeps us honest, gives us strength, makes us noble, and finally allows us to die with pride"
Spider-Man 2 (2004), Rosemary Harris
I was thinking about my past last night, and what I wanted to be when I "grew up". Then I started thinking about heroes...not the TV show on NBC, but the real life inspirations to the child that eventually grew up to be me. I remember wanting to be a teacher because my first and second grade teacher was so helpful to this kid who was to antsy to sit still, and so eager to learn everything. I remember wanting to be the Lone Ranger because he always fought for what was right and just. I wanted to be Bruce Jenner because he was an incredible athlete. I wanted to be Jumping Jim Brunzell because he was my "absolute favorite wrestler". When I was 5-6 years old I needed heroes like these. Someone to set a standard so that I, as a kid, would have an idea of what a "grown up" should be. Back then stars. celebrities and athletes, whether or not they wanted to be, did know that they were in fact role models and heroes to many children and adults.
But as I grew older my heroes changed. Soon it wasn't about the men and women who made the world a better place, but men and women who made their own paths, regardless of the consequences. I went from positive role models to anti-heroes. I talked a little about it yesterday.
Then as I grew older yet, stars, athletes, and celebrities now claim that they are not heroes or role models. They state that they are who they want to be and it's not their fault if some kid emulates them. Now I admit that this is partly true. But to deny that they have no influence on us is just a cop out. Or who knows maybe I'm wrong.
Maybe there are no more heroes to look up to. Maybe there never were. Maybe I was just a delusional child that thought that there were people out there who would teach us to be better human being by their actions and their words.
Or maybe there are no more heroes for me as an adult. Maybe I've grown disillusioned by the fact that too many people now only think of themselves, and at times that includes myself.
Maybe the only real fact is that as a child I looked for those great qualities that would steer us all into superb human beings in outside avenues, because back than, everything was pretty much cut and dry, the heroes WERE the good guys. I guess back then we were allowed to believe in that.
Sometimes I really miss back then.
4/04/2007
JUST A RANDOM VIEW FROM THE POSITIVE SIDE OF LIFE
Be happy while you're living, for you're a long time dead.
Scottish Proverb
Hiya folks! I hope you are all doing fantastic today! Not much happened today. Just another day come and gone, but for some silly reason I feel great:
happy spirit, happy soul, and happy thoughts.
It still surprises me when I feel this way. I spent a lot of my life either to drunk or to angry or simply in denial of the possibility of good things happening (even though in many cases, some good things were happening, and I was just to blind to see them). I have been re-learning how to appreciate the things I do have. I don't mean the material items (it seems the longer I walk this big blue planet, the less those things matter...hmm I may be growing up...now that's a scary thought) but the things that have real worth.
Not that long ago and for a long time before that, I used to fill the emptiness in my existence with many forms of distractions. I used to buy DVDs, books, the Internet and comics to mentally escape the reality I lived in. I use to drink like the proverbial fish and I used music to justify it all. In the lyrics of just about any song I had an excuse for any self destructive behavior I wished to indulge in. But lately...well that seems to have changed.
I now get books that just sound interesting to read. I still watch movies but now I digest them as a media outlet:
was the story any good, were the actors believable, did the dialogue fit the character, was the music appropriate, what could have been done better, well you get the idea.
Music, now that is a different story. I now take my appreciation of music to a different level. It's become an avenue for history and influence. I listen to music as an emotional safety valve and sometimes as a way of expressing what I want to say, when I myself can't find the words. I now watch the performers, and no longer try to mirror them or imitate their behavior (after a 16 year "love" of Jack Daniels -thanks to Motley Crue's Nikki Sixx- just the sight of the bottle causes a gag reflex that is usually saved for televangelists...and Oprah).
I don't need to emulate my adolescent idols to prove my worth to myself or anyone. I just need to be at peace with my demons, accept that they are a part of me, and make sure that it's Jose that steers the ship through the choppy sea of continuance and not the malignant spirit that it used to be. It's not always easy, but any fight for your soul is worth fighting for.
I know it sounds so melodramatic...but I guess in many ways I am. And that folks...is just who I am. In the end I am still me, just a better me.
Scottish Proverb
Hiya folks! I hope you are all doing fantastic today! Not much happened today. Just another day come and gone, but for some silly reason I feel great:
happy spirit, happy soul, and happy thoughts.
It still surprises me when I feel this way. I spent a lot of my life either to drunk or to angry or simply in denial of the possibility of good things happening (even though in many cases, some good things were happening, and I was just to blind to see them). I have been re-learning how to appreciate the things I do have. I don't mean the material items (it seems the longer I walk this big blue planet, the less those things matter...hmm I may be growing up...now that's a scary thought) but the things that have real worth.
Not that long ago and for a long time before that, I used to fill the emptiness in my existence with many forms of distractions. I used to buy DVDs, books, the Internet and comics to mentally escape the reality I lived in. I use to drink like the proverbial fish and I used music to justify it all. In the lyrics of just about any song I had an excuse for any self destructive behavior I wished to indulge in. But lately...well that seems to have changed.
I now get books that just sound interesting to read. I still watch movies but now I digest them as a media outlet:
was the story any good, were the actors believable, did the dialogue fit the character, was the music appropriate, what could have been done better, well you get the idea.
Music, now that is a different story. I now take my appreciation of music to a different level. It's become an avenue for history and influence. I listen to music as an emotional safety valve and sometimes as a way of expressing what I want to say, when I myself can't find the words. I now watch the performers, and no longer try to mirror them or imitate their behavior (after a 16 year "love" of Jack Daniels -thanks to Motley Crue's Nikki Sixx- just the sight of the bottle causes a gag reflex that is usually saved for televangelists...and Oprah).
I don't need to emulate my adolescent idols to prove my worth to myself or anyone. I just need to be at peace with my demons, accept that they are a part of me, and make sure that it's Jose that steers the ship through the choppy sea of continuance and not the malignant spirit that it used to be. It's not always easy, but any fight for your soul is worth fighting for.
I know it sounds so melodramatic...but I guess in many ways I am. And that folks...is just who I am. In the end I am still me, just a better me.
4/02/2007
28 SECRETS ABOUT YOURSELF
"It is the nature of man to rise to greatness if greatness is expected of him."
John Steinbeck
American writer 1902-1968
This is just one of those things that I have had in my "future blogs" folder, for those days when I'm pressed for time or can't think of anything to write at this moment. Well this is a pressed for time moment. So here we are with...
28 secrets about yourself.
1. Is your default picture your natural hair color?
Nope...considering that the pic is of Spider Jerusalem from the "Transmetropolitan" graphic novels
2. Where was your default pic taken?
Look at first answer
3. What's your middle name?
Manuel
4. What's your current relationship status?
VERY HAPPILY MARRIED
5. Honestly, does your crush(s) like you back?
Umm I guess...because you know she's married to me
6. What is your current mood?
Hurried...I've got to get ready for work soon
7. What color shirt are you wearing?
Shirt???
8. What makes you happy, honestly?
A good book, being married, a warm day, being alive...you know a lot of things these days makes me happy, honestly.
9. Whats your favorite type of music?
Depends on my moods, but I guess usually it's 80's hair bands
10. If you MUST be an animal for ONE day- what would you be?
Is a horn dog an animal?? Just Kidding :) But I guess it would be a snow leopard. I just think they are very beautiful animals.
11. Ever had a near death experience?
Yes and no...I was "near death" when I worked in a hospitol.
12. Something you do a lot?
Complaining about the state of decay our beautiful world is in.
13. What's the name of the song stuck in your head right now?
No song right now. But lately it's usually something by Pearl Jam.
14. Who did you copy and paste this from?
Oh sweet Jesus, I don't know I did this back in January.
15. Name someone with the same b-day as you?
After doing a search I came up with this...
Philip Kearney born on June 2, 1815
Pope Pius X born on June 2, 1835
Thomas Hardy born on June 2, 1840
Edward Elgar born on June 2, 1857
Sally Kellerman born on June 2, 1936
Stacy Keach born on June 2, 1941
Charles Haid born on June 2, 1943
Ilaiyaraaja born on June 2, 1943
Lasse Hallström born on June 2, 1946
Dennis Haysbert born on June 2, 1954
Dana Carvey born on June 2, 1955
Kyle Petty born on June 2, 1960
Alejandro Agresti born on June 2, 1961
Esther Eikelenboom born on June 2, 1966
Paulo Sergio born on June 2, 1969
Karen Mok born on June 2, 1970
Anthony Montgomery born on June 2, 1971
Wentworth Miller born on June 2, 1972
Neifi Perez born on June 2, 1973
Karolina Rosiñska born on June 2, 1974
Arlette Adriani born on June 2, 1975
Sebastien Schemmel born on June 2, 1975
Justin Long born on June 2, 1978
Nikki Cox born on June 2, 1978
Nikolay Davydenko born on June 2, 1981
Jewel Staite born on June 2, 1982
Ana Cristina born on June 2, 1985
Dane Christensen born on June 2, 1986
Sergio Agüero born on June 2, 1988
Freddy Adu born on June 2, 1989
Brittany Curran born on June 2, 1990
16. When was the last time you cried?
I don't know, it's not something I usually keep track of.
17. If you could have one super power what would it be?
Today...right now...It would have to be super speed
18. What's the first thing you notice about the OPPOSITE sex??
Well the first thing I would notice is that they ARE the oppisite sex.
19. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
Not a damn thing.
20. Whats your biggest secret?
Well to tell you would no longer make it a secret.
21. What's your favorite color?
Black and red
22. When was the last time you lied?
about 2 hours ago....that's when I got out of bed.
23. Do you watch kiddy tv shows or movies?
YES!!!!!
24. Do you have a best friend?
Yes.
25. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?
What can't we change? I think everybody can change something about themselves if they truly want to.
26. What are you eating or drinking at the moment?
Diet Coke
27. Do you speak any other languages?
Yes
28. What's your favorite scent?
The "just finished raining outside and it's still hot" scent.
John Steinbeck
American writer 1902-1968
This is just one of those things that I have had in my "future blogs" folder, for those days when I'm pressed for time or can't think of anything to write at this moment. Well this is a pressed for time moment. So here we are with...
28 secrets about yourself.
1. Is your default picture your natural hair color?
Nope...considering that the pic is of Spider Jerusalem from the "Transmetropolitan" graphic novels
2. Where was your default pic taken?
Look at first answer
3. What's your middle name?
Manuel
4. What's your current relationship status?
VERY HAPPILY MARRIED
5. Honestly, does your crush(s) like you back?
Umm I guess...because you know she's married to me
6. What is your current mood?
Hurried...I've got to get ready for work soon
7. What color shirt are you wearing?
Shirt???
8. What makes you happy, honestly?
A good book, being married, a warm day, being alive...you know a lot of things these days makes me happy, honestly.
9. Whats your favorite type of music?
Depends on my moods, but I guess usually it's 80's hair bands
10. If you MUST be an animal for ONE day- what would you be?
Is a horn dog an animal?? Just Kidding :) But I guess it would be a snow leopard. I just think they are very beautiful animals.
11. Ever had a near death experience?
Yes and no...I was "near death" when I worked in a hospitol.
12. Something you do a lot?
Complaining about the state of decay our beautiful world is in.
13. What's the name of the song stuck in your head right now?
No song right now. But lately it's usually something by Pearl Jam.
14. Who did you copy and paste this from?
Oh sweet Jesus, I don't know I did this back in January.
15. Name someone with the same b-day as you?
After doing a search I came up with this...
Philip Kearney born on June 2, 1815
Pope Pius X born on June 2, 1835
Thomas Hardy born on June 2, 1840
Edward Elgar born on June 2, 1857
Sally Kellerman born on June 2, 1936
Stacy Keach born on June 2, 1941
Charles Haid born on June 2, 1943
Ilaiyaraaja born on June 2, 1943
Lasse Hallström born on June 2, 1946
Dennis Haysbert born on June 2, 1954
Dana Carvey born on June 2, 1955
Kyle Petty born on June 2, 1960
Alejandro Agresti born on June 2, 1961
Esther Eikelenboom born on June 2, 1966
Paulo Sergio born on June 2, 1969
Karen Mok born on June 2, 1970
Anthony Montgomery born on June 2, 1971
Wentworth Miller born on June 2, 1972
Neifi Perez born on June 2, 1973
Karolina Rosiñska born on June 2, 1974
Arlette Adriani born on June 2, 1975
Sebastien Schemmel born on June 2, 1975
Justin Long born on June 2, 1978
Nikki Cox born on June 2, 1978
Nikolay Davydenko born on June 2, 1981
Jewel Staite born on June 2, 1982
Ana Cristina born on June 2, 1985
Dane Christensen born on June 2, 1986
Sergio Agüero born on June 2, 1988
Freddy Adu born on June 2, 1989
Brittany Curran born on June 2, 1990
16. When was the last time you cried?
I don't know, it's not something I usually keep track of.
17. If you could have one super power what would it be?
Today...right now...It would have to be super speed
18. What's the first thing you notice about the OPPOSITE sex??
Well the first thing I would notice is that they ARE the oppisite sex.
19. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
Not a damn thing.
20. Whats your biggest secret?
Well to tell you would no longer make it a secret.
21. What's your favorite color?
Black and red
22. When was the last time you lied?
about 2 hours ago....that's when I got out of bed.
23. Do you watch kiddy tv shows or movies?
YES!!!!!
24. Do you have a best friend?
Yes.
25. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?
What can't we change? I think everybody can change something about themselves if they truly want to.
26. What are you eating or drinking at the moment?
Diet Coke
27. Do you speak any other languages?
Yes
28. What's your favorite scent?
The "just finished raining outside and it's still hot" scent.
4/01/2007
3/31/2007
THE ROAD TO HEAVEN or THE CORNER OF HOLLYWOOD AND DIVINE
QUOTE OF THE DAY:
“I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much.”
Mother Teresa of Calcutta
Indian Missionary and Founder of the Order of the Missionaries of Charity. Nobel Prize for Peace in 1979.
August 26, 1910 – September 5, 1997
It seems like I can't sleep anymore...well at least not on Friday nights. For the last couple of months, it doesn't matter what time I go to bed, because invariably, I wake up 2-3 hours later. On the plus side I have time to work on this "Lil waste of space" without it intruding with my time with Season, but the negative is that I'm not lying in bed with her.
I know I could just lay there, but eventually I'll end up waking her, and that's not fair to her. So I tread these moments alone.
Well, as I was sitting there watching Iconoclasts, I had this strange moment of clarity. I don't get them often, and it's rarely ever about spirituality...until today.
I rarely touch upon spirituality in my entries, mainly because everyone opinions/ideals/beliefs differ, I always felt that I should never "force" mine upon anybody. Tonight that changes...sort of.
This is only a beginning, because I understand that beliefs and faith are very fluid. So I'm taking baby steps to make sure that what "I" believe doesn't get lost, especially to me. This is new ground upon which I traipse, and maybe one day I'll find that holy place within myself.
Let's start with the basics:
“I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much.”
Mother Teresa of Calcutta
Indian Missionary and Founder of the Order of the Missionaries of Charity. Nobel Prize for Peace in 1979.
August 26, 1910 – September 5, 1997
It seems like I can't sleep anymore...well at least not on Friday nights. For the last couple of months, it doesn't matter what time I go to bed, because invariably, I wake up 2-3 hours later. On the plus side I have time to work on this "Lil waste of space" without it intruding with my time with Season, but the negative is that I'm not lying in bed with her.
I know I could just lay there, but eventually I'll end up waking her, and that's not fair to her. So I tread these moments alone.
Well, as I was sitting there watching Iconoclasts, I had this strange moment of clarity. I don't get them often, and it's rarely ever about spirituality...until today.
I rarely touch upon spirituality in my entries, mainly because everyone opinions/ideals/beliefs differ, I always felt that I should never "force" mine upon anybody. Tonight that changes...sort of.
This is only a beginning, because I understand that beliefs and faith are very fluid. So I'm taking baby steps to make sure that what "I" believe doesn't get lost, especially to me. This is new ground upon which I traipse, and maybe one day I'll find that holy place within myself.
Let's start with the basics:
- Yes I believe in God.
- Yes I believe in heaven and hell.
I feel pretty certain that many of you will disagree with me, and I'm hoping that some of you will be cognizant that this is simply one man's mindset on a pretty touchy subject.
Firstly, I postulate that God loves every man, woman , and child no matter who or what they are. I accept this with every atom of my existence. I believe that God does not judge any of us at all. I believe that only man does that. I believe God has made us all to resemble each other in a physical way, but that's where it ends. We, as a whole, think , act, and react so differently from anyone else on this floating green/blue rock that we can either learn from each other or kill each other. I believe God made us all to be like this so that we could learn and grow as individuals and as a race. I believe he made us like this so that we could feed each others needs for love, knowledge, and understanding, while driving all of us into a forward movement that would lead us into the next evolution of man.
But that idea was lost somewhere, and I don't know when or how.
Some can argue that it began with the fall of Adam and Eve or the conflict between Cain and Abel. Some can argue that it never began and was in all of us from day one. I don't know the answer to this. I can't even begin to form a hypothesis nor do I want to.
What I do know is that man's time on this Earth is drawing near. In the news and media all the attention is on misery, fear, and death. When people are destroying each other verbally and physically over material items, invisible borders, and beliefs. When instead we should be existing as a community, as a family. We spend more time breaking and tearing each other down that we forget (or have forgotten) that
- and now there doth remain faith, hope, love -- these three; and the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13.
I don't believe man role was to tame the world we live in, and most certainly it wasn't to oppress our brothers and sisters. Sure, the bible gives us rules to live by. It also gives us tidbits of information on the rise of man and faith. It even gives us examples of the rewards and the punishments that await us all. One thing we keep forgetting is that the greatest bit of information came from Jesus
- Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. Matt. 22:37-39
I don't know...it seems pretty simple to me.
I'll be coming back to this topic every once and a while. Like I said at the beginning, it's a journey, and all I've done so far is take the first step. So far, I really like the direction it's taking me.
3/30/2007
CONGRATULATIONS TO "GOOD OLE' J.R."
Just a quick little blurb for now...I'll be back later tonight/early tomorrow to do a full entry, but I just wanted to say something really quick (which means this will probably be longer than it should).
This week, thanks to a calendar/money expenditure error on my part, I was gone from the world for the last 4 days. So I missed my weekly wrestling fix...and it happened to be an event I wish I HADN'T MISSED!!!! This is where I kick myself in the ass...HARD!!!
Now as you all know I am a wrestling fan, so since I missed my fix, I went back and looked over the results and some videos of RAW and ECW.
Jim "Good ole JR" Ross, was announced as being the newest Wrestling Hall Of Fame nominee, and I whooped and yelled and started to tear up.
DID YOU HEAR ME??? JR IS GOING TO BE INDUCTED INTO THE WWE HALL OF FAME. THE VOICE OF MONDAY NIGHT RAW, IS GETTING HIS TRUE MOMENT IN THE LIGHT, AND HIS STAR IS GOING TO SHINE IN THE WWE, AS A BONAFIDE HALL OF FAMER.
JR brings to wrestling a passionate voice, filled with love and respect for the athletes, the history, and the future of sports entertainment. He brings a storytelling quality that carries you along through every match and segment of RAW. He, like any, announcer has his catch phrases, and as we all are want to do, we say/yell/scream them out, almost like a sing a long. But it's his articulation, delivery, and exclamations that has been his mark (and by god has he made that mark!!!) on this ever fluctuating business.
When JR was gone for health reasons, something was missing from the announce team. There was no "real" spark. There wasn't that almost tangible passion, that has been JR's trademark since coming to the WWE. He became the voice that you love to hear every Monday night.
So upon returning to RAW it was like my favorite uncle coming home to visit. All was right with the world of wrestling. LOL, even my wife agrees that compared to the other announce teams, RAW is the best.
So JR (knowing you'll probably never read this, but I'm saying it anyway) CONGRATULATIONS, you've worked hard for this honor and you truly deserve it.
BOOMER SOONER
This week, thanks to a calendar/money expenditure error on my part, I was gone from the world for the last 4 days. So I missed my weekly wrestling fix...and it happened to be an event I wish I HADN'T MISSED!!!! This is where I kick myself in the ass...HARD!!!
Now as you all know I am a wrestling fan, so since I missed my fix, I went back and looked over the results and some videos of RAW and ECW.
Jim "Good ole JR" Ross, was announced as being the newest Wrestling Hall Of Fame nominee, and I whooped and yelled and started to tear up.
DID YOU HEAR ME??? JR IS GOING TO BE INDUCTED INTO THE WWE HALL OF FAME. THE VOICE OF MONDAY NIGHT RAW, IS GETTING HIS TRUE MOMENT IN THE LIGHT, AND HIS STAR IS GOING TO SHINE IN THE WWE, AS A BONAFIDE HALL OF FAMER.
JR brings to wrestling a passionate voice, filled with love and respect for the athletes, the history, and the future of sports entertainment. He brings a storytelling quality that carries you along through every match and segment of RAW. He, like any, announcer has his catch phrases, and as we all are want to do, we say/yell/scream them out, almost like a sing a long. But it's his articulation, delivery, and exclamations that has been his mark (and by god has he made that mark!!!) on this ever fluctuating business.
When JR was gone for health reasons, something was missing from the announce team. There was no "real" spark. There wasn't that almost tangible passion, that has been JR's trademark since coming to the WWE. He became the voice that you love to hear every Monday night.
So upon returning to RAW it was like my favorite uncle coming home to visit. All was right with the world of wrestling. LOL, even my wife agrees that compared to the other announce teams, RAW is the best.
So JR (knowing you'll probably never read this, but I'm saying it anyway) CONGRATULATIONS, you've worked hard for this honor and you truly deserve it.
BOOMER SOONER
3/25/2007
RANDOM THOUGHTS...i guess
“You were born with wings. Why prefer to crawl through life?”
Jalal ad-Din Rumi
Persian Poet and Mystic, 1207-1273
I really have no clear idea tonite what I'm writing about. I was going to talk about farming, but that's a research project, that will take some time to sort through facts, figures, and statistics. Then I thought this would be a great time to go in to my "How to exact Change in America" piece but I'm still working on details for that. Than, I thought, "Hey Jose, this would be a great time to do a review or a meme...you know you want to, and it would be easy."
Well I may be a lot of things, but I am not easy...ok maybe I am, but not tonight. So instead, I'm just sitting here and I'm going to just type. No real destination or a point to make. This is just an experiment of sorts. So without further ado...
Jalal ad-Din Rumi
Persian Poet and Mystic, 1207-1273
I really have no clear idea tonite what I'm writing about. I was going to talk about farming, but that's a research project, that will take some time to sort through facts, figures, and statistics. Then I thought this would be a great time to go in to my "How to exact Change in America" piece but I'm still working on details for that. Than, I thought, "Hey Jose, this would be a great time to do a review or a meme...you know you want to, and it would be easy."
Well I may be a lot of things, but I am not easy...ok maybe I am, but not tonight. So instead, I'm just sitting here and I'm going to just type. No real destination or a point to make. This is just an experiment of sorts. So without further ado...
Do you think the 4 Horseman of the Apocolypse are friends?
Why does everything have an ingredients label (yes even water does) EXCEPT beer and cigarettes?
Why are diet sodas changing their names from diet to "zero" even though it means the same exact thing?
Why do so many people look down on mothers who breastfeed in public?
Why does a guy who drives a Hummer (H3 specifically -which gets 16 mpg -city 19 mpg -hwy and only has a 23 gallon tank) complain about gas prices? And does he have a right to?
Why do women show off cleavage, than get absolutely pissed when men look?
Why are smokers being treated like second class citizens?
Why do so many people blame food establishments for their lack of self control and/or common sense?
Why are orginizations (like truth) wasting so much time telling us smoking is bad, when EVERYBODY already knows it is?
Why is bussing kids to different school districts a bad idea?
Why do American companies close factories and production plants, send their plants to other countries, lay off millions of workers, thus eliminating incomes for their target consumers and then complain about a profit loss, which means they have to eliminte more jobs and move them to other countries....well you get the picture.
Why are there parks and playgrounds all over the US when there rarely any kids or families using them anymore?
Does anyone else remember Crystal Pepsi or "new"Coke...and did anyone else, other than me, like it?
Who else has seen "The Great Space Coaster"?
Why is it fashionable for women to show off their thongs and men to show off their boxers...while still wearing pants?
Does the Burger King "Burger King" freak anyone else out?
I think that's it for today. I'm finally tired which means it's bed time for Bonzo. Good night one and all and I'll see you soon.
3/24/2007
WHY DO WE DO THIS? and SEASON'S EMAILS OF THE WEEK
QUOTE OF THE DAY:
You see things; and you say, 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say, "Why not?"
George Bernard Shaw, "Back to Methuselah" (1921), part 1, act 1
Irish dramatist & socialist (1856 - 1950)
YESTERDAY'S QUOTE OF THE DAY (because I forgot to add it):
For most folks, no news is good news; for the press, good news is not news.
Gloria Borger
Journalist (1952 - current)
So if any of you are like me, we own DVD's and/or VHS movies and, most of us also have cable TV or satellite dish for home veiwing pleasure. Now why since we own movies, do we as a generality watch movies on pay TV of movies we already own? I just sat and watched Prophecy 2, which is a pretty cool movie, on Showtime. I also own Prophecy 2 on DVD, and it is still a pretty good movie. A few days ago, I did the same thing with Edward Scissorhands which is one of my alltime favorite movies. I watched it on Showtime (or was it Starz-well it doesn't really matter you get the idea) when I own it. So basically I have, in the last few days, watched movies I already own, and that I could watch at any time but deemed it necessary to watch them again...on pay TV. I know this doesn't seem like a truly a blog-worthy viewpoint but stick with me.
I sat there after it was over asking myself, why didn't I watch something I have never seen, or better yet put in a DVD of something I have purchased and haven't watched yet. The answer was simple (which led me to this place).
I believe that I am starting to get to complacent. I wake up at the same time everyday, do my pre-work rituals, go to the same job, talk about the same things, come home, follow my after work rituals (all depending on what day it is), and then go to sleep, only to do the same thing again. Now don't get me wrong, some people like rituals, and I don't fault them for it at all. I wish I could enjoy or even like repetition but I can't. I have such a short attention span that one would think doing the same thing over and over again would be a good thing. But it's not. My mind starts to wander, I stop paying attention to what's going on around me, and I basically become a 2 year old when some starts waving keys (oooooh sumfin shineyyyy) and lose where I am.
But I'm also a guy who doesn't like to be let down. I, like most people, don't like to be disappointed. I don't want to feel like I have just wasted part of my time/money/life. Which sadly I think most of feel like that at times. So why do we sit and watch movies that we have already seen. Why do we listen to music on the radio that we already own? Why do we go to the same restaurants or shop at the same stores?
I think it's because noone wants to be disappointed anymore, so we go with what we know. We go with what we like. We go with what's comfortable and safe instead of taking the occasional chance.
So I think today I'm going to go try some new things. I think today I'll take a chance at being disappointed because who knows, I might be pleasantly surprised. You know, now that I'm talking about it, maybe I'll try something new everyday. Watch something I have never seen. Listen to a different radio station (other than the ones pre-programed). Try a different kind of food or shop somewhere I have never been in. It kind of seems like a microadventure of miniscule proportions, but I have to keep reminding myself that life is not a journey without moments to remember, but to remember the moments that make life.
I know some pretty deep thoughts, for a Saturday morning, but I have been up for a while.
SEASON'S EMAILS OF THE WEEK
A BOTTLE OF WINE
For all of us who are married, were married, wish you were married, or wish you weren't married, this is something to smile about the next time you open a bottle of wine: Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride. With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car. Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally. "What's in the bag?" asked the old woman. Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, "It's a bottle of wine...I got it for my husband." The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said, "Good trade."
THE CAT (You Don't Have To Own A Cat To Appreciate This One!)
We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party.
We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard.
We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi.
The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house.
The cat we put out in the yard, scoots back into the house.
We didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird.
My wife goes out to the taxi, while I went inside to get the cat.
The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit.
Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn't want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night.
So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon, "He's just going upstairs to say good-bye to my mother."
A few minutes later, I get into the cab.
"Sorry I took so long," I said, as we drove away.
"That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed.
Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out!
She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck.
Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me.
But it worked!
I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!"
The cab driver hit a parked car . . .
You see things; and you say, 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say, "Why not?"
George Bernard Shaw, "Back to Methuselah" (1921), part 1, act 1
Irish dramatist & socialist (1856 - 1950)
YESTERDAY'S QUOTE OF THE DAY (because I forgot to add it):
For most folks, no news is good news; for the press, good news is not news.
Gloria Borger
Journalist (1952 - current)
So if any of you are like me, we own DVD's and/or VHS movies and, most of us also have cable TV or satellite dish for home veiwing pleasure. Now why since we own movies, do we as a generality watch movies on pay TV of movies we already own? I just sat and watched Prophecy 2, which is a pretty cool movie, on Showtime. I also own Prophecy 2 on DVD, and it is still a pretty good movie. A few days ago, I did the same thing with Edward Scissorhands which is one of my alltime favorite movies. I watched it on Showtime (or was it Starz-well it doesn't really matter you get the idea) when I own it. So basically I have, in the last few days, watched movies I already own, and that I could watch at any time but deemed it necessary to watch them again...on pay TV. I know this doesn't seem like a truly a blog-worthy viewpoint but stick with me.
I sat there after it was over asking myself, why didn't I watch something I have never seen, or better yet put in a DVD of something I have purchased and haven't watched yet. The answer was simple (which led me to this place).
I believe that I am starting to get to complacent. I wake up at the same time everyday, do my pre-work rituals, go to the same job, talk about the same things, come home, follow my after work rituals (all depending on what day it is), and then go to sleep, only to do the same thing again. Now don't get me wrong, some people like rituals, and I don't fault them for it at all. I wish I could enjoy or even like repetition but I can't. I have such a short attention span that one would think doing the same thing over and over again would be a good thing. But it's not. My mind starts to wander, I stop paying attention to what's going on around me, and I basically become a 2 year old when some starts waving keys (oooooh sumfin shineyyyy) and lose where I am.
But I'm also a guy who doesn't like to be let down. I, like most people, don't like to be disappointed. I don't want to feel like I have just wasted part of my time/money/life. Which sadly I think most of feel like that at times. So why do we sit and watch movies that we have already seen. Why do we listen to music on the radio that we already own? Why do we go to the same restaurants or shop at the same stores?
I think it's because noone wants to be disappointed anymore, so we go with what we know. We go with what we like. We go with what's comfortable and safe instead of taking the occasional chance.
So I think today I'm going to go try some new things. I think today I'll take a chance at being disappointed because who knows, I might be pleasantly surprised. You know, now that I'm talking about it, maybe I'll try something new everyday. Watch something I have never seen. Listen to a different radio station (other than the ones pre-programed). Try a different kind of food or shop somewhere I have never been in. It kind of seems like a microadventure of miniscule proportions, but I have to keep reminding myself that life is not a journey without moments to remember, but to remember the moments that make life.
I know some pretty deep thoughts, for a Saturday morning, but I have been up for a while.
SEASON'S EMAILS OF THE WEEK
A BOTTLE OF WINE
For all of us who are married, were married, wish you were married, or wish you weren't married, this is something to smile about the next time you open a bottle of wine: Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride. With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car. Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally. "What's in the bag?" asked the old woman. Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, "It's a bottle of wine...I got it for my husband." The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said, "Good trade."
THE CAT (You Don't Have To Own A Cat To Appreciate This One!)
We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party.
We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard.
We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi.
The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house.
The cat we put out in the yard, scoots back into the house.
We didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird.
My wife goes out to the taxi, while I went inside to get the cat.
The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit.
Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn't want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night.
So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon, "He's just going upstairs to say good-bye to my mother."
A few minutes later, I get into the cab.
"Sorry I took so long," I said, as we drove away.
"That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed.
Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out!
She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck.
Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me.
But it worked!
I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!"
The cab driver hit a parked car . . .
3/23/2007
WOW!!! ATHLETE'S AND STEROIDS!!! that's news. AND OTHER KINDS OF UPDATES.
This is news? OK, I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed, nor am I ever going to give Einstein or Hawkins a run for their money when it comes to brains, but this is just stupid. So they use steroids. Some athletes take it as an enhancement drug, some take it for health reasons. Some athletes take it to "get ahead" in their profession. Some take it after as part of the medicinal regiment following surgery or illness. You know this sounds a lot like everyday happenings. I knew some guys who took steroids in high school sports, for those 2 same reasons. So again I ask, is this news? The people who use and abuse any kind of pill/powder/drink. It doesn't even have to be illegal. Food is not illegal, yet we live in a time when people abuse their bodies by eating too much, or the opposite, not eating at all. There is enough documented material teling all of us how alcohol is also used and abused. How many people out there drink too much? How many people eat too much? How many people out there take to many advil/tylenol/aspirin? How many people drink too much caffiene? How many people out there take too much nyquil/dayquil? How many people take ephedrine for the side effect and not for the main reason it was made? I myself have done this. As have most of the known world. These people whether or not they are famous, are in the end just as fallible or resposible as the rest of us. They are people too. We can make them into righteous, flawless, and enerring icons, but in the end they are just people, like us. This isn't news. This is just a way for some "investigative reporters", and man oh man do I use that term loosely, to knock some people down, drag their names in dirt, and say we had a right to know. Well I want to know one thing. Why are they naming only celebrities? Are you telling me that Joe Schmoe from Nowheresville, USA didn't find a way of prcurring the same things? Why do they name famous athletes when in all honesty the men and women who prescribed the "medications" are the ones who are and have been giving them out, knowing damn well what they were using it for. Why are they not the ones out there being crucified, instead of the athletes? Because people (I mean us, the little guys, who the powers that be are stating we are too dumb to know what is real news and what is pure bullshit and worse yet, be denied the real truths that affect us, and not this drivel that is fed to us) are letting it happen. We all seem to believe that the "HAVE's" are so much cooler than us that we put them on pedestals, only to be outraged when they fall of them. But than again, what do I know? I guess I'm more impressed by us little people who struggle day to day. I'm more outraged at the potholes that don't get fixed. I'm more concerned about homeless people dying in the streets. I'm more concerned about violence on the streets/in our homes/in our schools. But than again what do I know? I'm just a guy who drinks too much caffiene, drinks too much beer, takes too many advils, eats too much, and apparently thinks too much.
Now that I've had that uplifting start, let's get on to some other things. I know I've been gone again...and this time I have a reason. Allbeit a stupid reason, it is nonetheless a reason. I've been gone because I had a complete ass-kicking and very frustrating case of writers block. I had nothing at all. I'd log on sit here and nothing would happen. I'd go and read some blogs, web-comics, and emails...still nothing. My brain was completely out of ideas to write about. I even tried writing some offline stuff to cut and paste...and guess what? Nothing. Not a damn thing was coming to mind. Untill today. So here I am. Be patient with me, I told you I sucked at schedules. Next time I'm not saying a damn thing about my blogging plans, and just implementing them as I go, and maybe you'll like what I do and than again you might not, who knows?
By the way HAPPY FRIDAY!!! The weekend is officially here. Spring is officially here. New music day is officially here.
VICTIM EFFECT
Just simply some very cool. It a metal/electronica cross that works so well. It's funny because I'm not really into electronica but this is just plain cool. The band is called VICTIM EFFECT and the only victim will be you if you don't check them out and the only effect is that you won't hear some great music. Like I said it's VICTIM EFFECT.
oK THAT'S aLL FoR nOW. i'll pROBbaLY bE BACk lATeR, if THe mOoD hiT'S mE!!!!!
Now that I've had that uplifting start, let's get on to some other things. I know I've been gone again...and this time I have a reason. Allbeit a stupid reason, it is nonetheless a reason. I've been gone because I had a complete ass-kicking and very frustrating case of writers block. I had nothing at all. I'd log on sit here and nothing would happen. I'd go and read some blogs, web-comics, and emails...still nothing. My brain was completely out of ideas to write about. I even tried writing some offline stuff to cut and paste...and guess what? Nothing. Not a damn thing was coming to mind. Untill today. So here I am. Be patient with me, I told you I sucked at schedules. Next time I'm not saying a damn thing about my blogging plans, and just implementing them as I go, and maybe you'll like what I do and than again you might not, who knows?
By the way HAPPY FRIDAY!!! The weekend is officially here. Spring is officially here. New music day is officially here.
VICTIM EFFECT
Just simply some very cool. It a metal/electronica cross that works so well. It's funny because I'm not really into electronica but this is just plain cool. The band is called VICTIM EFFECT and the only victim will be you if you don't check them out and the only effect is that you won't hear some great music. Like I said it's VICTIM EFFECT.
oK THAT'S aLL FoR nOW. i'll pROBbaLY bE BACk lATeR, if THe mOoD hiT'S mE!!!!!
3/10/2007
NEVER HEARD OF IT
Well if that aint enough to piss you off. I've been trying to access myspace for the new music portions yesterday and today and FINALLY I get access. I really hate being addicted to the info super hi-way...especially when they close all but one lane AND my exit!! But enough of that. It's new music friday...umm kinda. I know it's saturday but I had issues on here yesterday.
NEVER HEARD OF IT
Really? You should. So that's what I'm doing here. NEVER HEARD OF IT is the bands name and I'm glad I have. These guys have such a great sound. It's got a sorta Killers-esque feel, but I don't want to give you that comparison, because they sound great. A polished rock sound with energy and emotions, man, what else could you ask for. NEVER HEARD OF IT...now you have...and spread the word.
LEROY JUSTICE
It's not often that someone else's description puts into words what I'm thinking when I'm trying to describe it and just can't. There are times when my inside voice can't find the right coalition of words to say what I'm feeling. Luckily sometimes they themselves say the right thing...so in their own words...
"Like a roadhouse ghost rattling his chains, Leroy Justice...comes to life. Their revolution is the same one rock n roll has been fighting since the blues and country bedded down together to water the tree of musical liberty with the blood of true patriots. Leroy Justice opens a vein thats colored like the Black Crowes, Marah, Old 97s and vintage Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. Its roots music that never strays too far from the garage or an open whiskey bottle."
Amen brother!!
So on this day I give you
NEVER HEARD OF IT
and
LEROY JUSTICE
NEVER HEARD OF IT
Really? You should. So that's what I'm doing here. NEVER HEARD OF IT is the bands name and I'm glad I have. These guys have such a great sound. It's got a sorta Killers-esque feel, but I don't want to give you that comparison, because they sound great. A polished rock sound with energy and emotions, man, what else could you ask for. NEVER HEARD OF IT...now you have...and spread the word.
LEROY JUSTICE
It's not often that someone else's description puts into words what I'm thinking when I'm trying to describe it and just can't. There are times when my inside voice can't find the right coalition of words to say what I'm feeling. Luckily sometimes they themselves say the right thing...so in their own words...
"Like a roadhouse ghost rattling his chains, Leroy Justice...comes to life. Their revolution is the same one rock n roll has been fighting since the blues and country bedded down together to water the tree of musical liberty with the blood of true patriots. Leroy Justice opens a vein thats colored like the Black Crowes, Marah, Old 97s and vintage Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. Its roots music that never strays too far from the garage or an open whiskey bottle."
Amen brother!!
So on this day I give you
NEVER HEARD OF IT
and
LEROY JUSTICE
I GUESS THAT'S THE LAST TIME I TELL YOU MY PLANS plus WEDNESDAY'S RECCOMENDATIONS, FRIDAY'S MUSIC and SEASON'S EMAILS...
whew that's too much rock for one hand.
Quote of the day:
“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars"
Oscar Wilde playwright, novelist, poet, and short story writer
October 16, 1854-November 30, 1900
I don't know why I do that. I say what I'm going to do, than life and reality blow it to smithereens. But I did do some blog ideas surfing, and it started with this...
10 Thoughts to Ponder for 2007
10. Life is sexually transmitted.
9. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
8. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
7. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
6. Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
5. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
4. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
3. Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?
2. In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2007:
We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of Illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.
The only problem with the last statement is, well a very silly one. Ummm have you seen the state of the farms in America. Not only that but the fact there has been one case of BSE (bovine spongiform encephalopathy) aka mad cow disease according to to the FDA website...
According to the Animal Health and Plant Inspection Service (APHIS) of the United States Department of Agriculture, BSE has been detected in one cow in the United States. Following complications of pregnancy this cow was slaughtered December 9, 2003. As part of the APHIS ongoing surveillance of downer animals a brain sample was taken to test for the BSE agent. On December 25, 2003 it was confirmed that this animal tested positive for the BSE agent (on December 23, 2003 this was a "presumptive" case).
Ok I don't really know why that last line upset me (the one about FDA) other than the fact that I am going through the whole citizen becoming process myself, but it did make me use the i-net for a positive thing. Well with that said...
WEDNESDAY'S MUST HAVE'S...
Now there's no rhyme or reason I choose these other than I think that if you haven't experienced them you should. Not only that but I figured if I still own them after all of my "selling crap I own to make it through the tough times" it must mean something to me.
One of my MUST own CD's is Skid Row's SUBHUMAN RACE.
It's their best album...IMO. Because on this album they show their full potential as a rock/heavy metal band. On this album they do a great amalgamtion of their influences, experiences, and their signature sound. If you remember their SLAVE TO THE GRIND album, this disc is 10 times better. So get it or at least listen to it and let me know what you think.
My MUST read book is Brian Lumley's HERO OF DREAMS
Quote of the day:
“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars"
Oscar Wilde playwright, novelist, poet, and short story writer
October 16, 1854-November 30, 1900
I don't know why I do that. I say what I'm going to do, than life and reality blow it to smithereens. But I did do some blog ideas surfing, and it started with this...
10 Thoughts to Ponder for 2007
10. Life is sexually transmitted.
9. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
8. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
7. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
6. Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
5. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
4. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
3. Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?
2. In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2007:
We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of Illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.
The only problem with the last statement is, well a very silly one. Ummm have you seen the state of the farms in America. Not only that but the fact there has been one case of BSE (bovine spongiform encephalopathy) aka mad cow disease according to to the FDA website...
According to the Animal Health and Plant Inspection Service (APHIS) of the United States Department of Agriculture, BSE has been detected in one cow in the United States. Following complications of pregnancy this cow was slaughtered December 9, 2003. As part of the APHIS ongoing surveillance of downer animals a brain sample was taken to test for the BSE agent. On December 25, 2003 it was confirmed that this animal tested positive for the BSE agent (on December 23, 2003 this was a "presumptive" case).
Ok I don't really know why that last line upset me (the one about FDA) other than the fact that I am going through the whole citizen becoming process myself, but it did make me use the i-net for a positive thing. Well with that said...
WEDNESDAY'S MUST HAVE'S...
Now there's no rhyme or reason I choose these other than I think that if you haven't experienced them you should. Not only that but I figured if I still own them after all of my "selling crap I own to make it through the tough times" it must mean something to me.
One of my MUST own CD's is Skid Row's SUBHUMAN RACE.
It's their best album...IMO. Because on this album they show their full potential as a rock/heavy metal band. On this album they do a great amalgamtion of their influences, experiences, and their signature sound. If you remember their SLAVE TO THE GRIND album, this disc is 10 times better. So get it or at least listen to it and let me know what you think.
My MUST read book is Brian Lumley's HERO OF DREAMS
It's the first in a series of books by this author. The coolest thing about these books is they take place in H.P. Lovecraft's Dreamlands. It's by far one of the easiest flowing books I have read too. Simply because the chapters are set up as micro stories. Well let me explain it this way. Hero Of Dreams is a collection of micro stories in chronological order that make up a book that makes up a series of books. Well anyway, read it.
My MUST have DVD
TRIGUN...all of them!!!!
It's fun, dramatic, action filled, romantic series of love, peace, principles life and death. NUFF SAID!!!!!
FRIDAY'S MUSIC
WELL BECAUSE OF SOME MAINTENCE ON MYSPACE...THIS WILL HAVE TO BE PUT OFF TILL A WEE BIT LATER...
SEASON'S EMAILS
ok here you go...
MERGING BAD PUNS...
For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expectedmergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks.Watch for these mergers in 2007:
1. Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R.Grace Co. will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.
2. Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become: Poly, Warner Cracker.
3. 3M will merge with Goodyear and and become: MMMGood.
4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become: ZipAudiDoDa.
5. FedEx is expected to join its major competitor, UPS, and become: FedUP.
6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become: Fairwell Honeychild.
7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become: Poupon Pants.
8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become: Knott NOW!
9. Victoria's Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge under the new name: Titty Titty Bang Bang!
How To Give A Cat A Pill (and yes I know PETA would hate this one...but FUCK 'em)
1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of > your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between > knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door on to neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold ompress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw Tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12. Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
13. Tie the little bastard's' front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15. Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
How To Give A Dog A Pill
1. Wrap it in bacon.
2. Toss it in the air.
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