TOP 17 FATAL THINGS TO SAY TO YOUR PREGNANT WIFE

QUOTE OF THE DAY:
I would say that the chances slim and none—and slim just rode out of town
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17. "I finished the Oreo's."

16. "Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs 40pounds."

15. "Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Leehad a baby!"

14. "I sure hope your thighs aren't gonna stay that flabby forever."

13. "Well, couldn't they induce labor? The 25th is the SuperBowl."

12. "Darned if you ain't about five pounds away from a surprisevisit from that Richard Simmons
fella."

11. "Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy,that's gotta hurt."

10. "Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next toWillard Scott!"

9. "I'm jealous! Why can't men experience the joy of childbirth?"

8. "Are your ankles supposed to look like that?"

7. "Get your *own* ice cream."

6. "Geez, you're awfully puffy looking today."

5. "Got milk?"

4. "Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Bambi."

3. "Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!"

2. "Retaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water."

And the Number 1 Fatal Thing to Say to Your Pregnant Wife...

1. "You don't have the guts to pull the trigger........."