The new easy to type home of all the crap I write.
I WON'T BE UPDATING THIS BLOG SITE ANYMORE, IF YOU STILL WANT TO READ MY WASTE OF SPACE YOU WILL HAVE TO GO HERE
http://coacearchive.blogspot.com/
I'M CHANGING OVER EVERYTHING TO THAT SITE. AND THAT SITE WILL BE UPDATED DAILY.
SO ADJUST YOUR BOOKMARKS
JOSE
12/31/2007
Here's some food for thought all you crazy cats...
ON THIS
So you can all share you
stories with us tomorrow on
12/30/2007
Y NO QUOTES
I than assigned her my "Where in Wide World of Sports did that COME from?" look.
She vocalizes, that she enjoyed the quotes immensely.
She says she was always surprised at how good I had the quotes matching my blogs, and that she kind of misses them.
So I go into explaining why I don't have a "quote of the day" anymore (and secretly thank her for giving me a short blog in the process). I say, "Season, darling, I would write my blog for the day, and since you know how short my attention span is, you know that it takes me quite a while, actually, to get a coherent thought written to completion. Instead of having three different blogs in differing stages of production, plus a PETA thing I've been working on for about three months, plus how many of those damn quiz things are not finished, sort of finished or just copied waiting for me to read them for the first time so I can add another thing to my not done pile. On top of all that I have, for some unknown reason, three different songs in my head in various stages and I'm still working on the book project."
"So by the time I do all that, than I have to find a quote. Sure thanks to the internet, it made it easier, but it got to the point where I would spend the same amount of time looking for a quote that it took me to write a blog.
And now you add surfing as yet another distraction...
So during that time off I took, I sat back and went, 'Jose, you know you're only doing the quote of the day, for your own personal amusement, and since it takes time you should rather spend...Oh, I don't know...SLEEPING, maybe you should let that little thing go.' so I did."
And she says..
"Oh, OK. Pass the sugar please."
So just for you
my wifey-poo
Here it is...Hose A's NOT REAL QUOTE (but they should be) OF THE DAY.
"Well of course he answered our questions. We did ask him politely you know" - Member of the Spanish Inquisition
12/29/2007
DAMN KIDS
Now most men around my age plus or minus a few years know exactly what I am talking about. This was/is the stuff of legends. I mean first we had a truly awesome sci-fi trilogy with lasers, spaceships, light sabers and wookies. Than George Lucas in his infinite wisdom, gave us the cherry on top of the sundae.
He gave us Princess Leia in a gold metal bikini.
It wasn't enough that he gave a set of movies that would define an entire generation. It wasn't enough that he redefined movie making and special f/x that to this day can be seen in so many blockbusters.
He also gave us Princess Leia in a gold metal bikini.
Thank you George!!!
I mean I'll be honest, I've asked my wife if she would be willing to wear one. She of course said NO, albeit emphatically and with a lot of stress on the "NO" part. I mean it was worth a shot right?
So any ways here I am looking at different metal bikini costumes, and all a sudden I see this.
Granted this has to be one of the cutest things I have ever seen. I also tend to be a wee bit disturbed, and a little upset. Because although she is adorable...she has single handedly killed my gold metal bikini fantasies.
From this moment on no longer will my sci-fi fantasies of wifey in gold metal bikini fuel me...instead I'll always remember this adorable little child. And that my friends is a mood killer.
How many times does a child ruin those moments of intimacy? I can say quite a few...but now thanks to this image, kids can now ruin moments of fantasy.
And that, my friends,
SUCKS.
12/28/2007
LOOKING FORWARD TO 2008, just not on New Years Eve
Christmas has come and gone, and I find myself thinking that this has been the best Christmas I have ever had. I actually recived all the things I truly wanted for Christmas. I had a great day with my wife, that I didn't have to share with anybody. I had a "family drama free day," by phone, because...well...that's what kept it drama free. Which for the record is very few and far between.
You see I love my mom (Queen Mother of the Dramatic) for one simple reason. She brought me into this world. That's it. No other reason. But for the last year, I've seen her turn into the ugliest person I have ever known.
I was talking to a friend the other day, and I said "You know what, Mom has turned into that person who will do and say whatever it takes to get you to do whatever she wants, and if you don't do that, she makes it seem like it's all your fault."
The worst part is, that my friend said "Oh my god, I am so glad you said that because I've seen it too. Then she lay's this guilt trip on you and then she gives you the silent treatment."
I said, "Oh man, so it's not just me? Thank God. I thought I was turning into that son who just grows apart from his mom."
He said "Nope, she's like that to everyone now."
Now this woman has become the exact type of person that I despise.
What makes matters worse is now she wants Season and I to spend New Years Eve with her.
I hate being in this position, because honestly, I'd rather be drawn and quartered than to have to endure a situation like that.
I hate the "woe is me" holiday cheer (umm...use a lot of sarcasm on the "cheer" part) because I've been there so many times. Both for her and my own ocean of self pity. I hated myself for swimming that particular body of water, and I hate the fact that I'll have to swim in someone else's pity pool.
I guess I'll just deal with this the same way I have been dealing with her for the last year. To quote Garth Brooks
"I'm gonna smile my best smile
And I'm gonna laugh like it's going out of style
Look into her eyes and pray that she don't see"
That I'm hating this moment.
12/27/2007
LASSIE
So what is it you ask? Well let me tell you.
1. They like to have sex.
Which isn't a bad thing. I mean who doesn't like to have sex?
2. When they do, she's either trying out for porn, or doing her best "Lassie" impersonation from 80's classic guy movie PORKY'S.
Just in case you don't know what I am talking about...I've included this
3. The headboard banging against the wall doesn't last very long.
Which can't be a good thing can it?
Of course the thing that cracks me up the most is that these "events" last for less than 3 minutes. What makes it even funnier is that afterwards we can hear her telling him how great he was.
I thought about dropping off an envelope marked "For Her Pleasure," and including a Viagra flyer in their mailbox for christmas...but then I thought
"Nahhhhh, that would just be tacky."
But it sure would have been funny.
12/26/2007
THE GREATNESS THAT IS...
STEVE GUTTENBERG
On Christmas eve Season and I were talking about movies from the 80's, because of the VH1's I Love the 80's series. They happened to focus on Short Circuit and Steve Guttenberg. Talk about a guy who was everywhere during the 80's. According to IMDB he was in 22 different projects from 1980-1989. Pretty good considering he started his career in 1977 and is still going on today. As of this post he's doing/done 57 projects...so let's break this down
7 projects in the 70's
22 projects in the 80's
12 projects in the 90's
14 as of right now on the era of the zeroes
So why am I talking about this guy? Because he was such a great 80's staple. Between being the lovable screw-off in the Police Academy movies, the likable artist in 3 Men and a Baby, and the sensitive leading man in Cocoon. In truth he played the same character over and over, but thankfully the movies got better, even if his acting didn't.
So today's "THE GREATNESS THAT IS..."
award
goes to STEVE GUTTENBERG.
Amen Brutha
12/25/2007
12/24/2007
1 DAY...and counting
Now for those of you who have been keeping up with my posts know that I have spent the last 11 days compiling one hell of a Christmas wishlist...well this is the last list for the Christmas Season in 2007. So I hope you enjoy...
My first set of wishes for the world as a whole...
Number 1 on my wishlist is tolerance.
I'm not so niave as to believe that peace is possibile, but tolerance is a very realistic possibility.
Number 2 Hope. You know to look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence.
Number 3 Faith. I've never said what you should believe in, but please believe in something
Number 4 Smile more. It's true you know. That a smile can change the world. Sure it's one person at a time, but isn't each person you meet a world in themselves?
Now we got some for a personal level...
Number 5 a Kiss not the kind that passes in a second, but the kind that takes a second but feels like forever
Number 6 a hug. The one that makes you feel safe and loved
Number 7 to make sure I let my wife know how much I still love her
Number 8 an undisturbed moment with my best friend, partner and wife.
and this last batch is for my family...
Number 9 for MOM a little bit of happiness
Number 10 for my sister - love, hope and strength for the upcoming days of motherhood
Number 11 for the man who used to be called my step-father but is now called my friend hope for the future and peace of mind
Number 12 for my wife I wish for you the things you already own. My heart, my soul, and my love.
and with this all I'll see you tomorrow
12/23/2007
2 DAYS...and counting
Artist: Relient K
Since this is Day 11 of the christmas wishlist...I thought I'd go all out on the "wish" part. I mean why the hell not?
So let's start with another computer...this time with the newly redesigned i-MAC. It's new sleek design is very cool, and well I always wanted one. I would love to have the chance to make multi-media stuff. You know...let the creative juices flow.
I've always loved the way a bass sounds. Hell, it's a beautiful sounding instrument. So this would be my "wish" bass and amp
OK Now were getting somewhere...let's talk about a dream car...yup folks, like I said I'm going to town BABY!!!
Nothing says sexy and speed like a 1969 Corvette Stingray, and what a way to get around during the Summer months...sorry, I had to wipe away some drool
Well now that I got my summer car, I need a winter car...so let's go with an SUV. But ohhhh-no we're not talking just any ol' SUV. Let's talk about the new 2008 Porsche Cayenne Turbo. I mean what says SUV better than Porche...
Of course you would also need something for hauling and other work related stuff. So what better than Nissan Titan
Oh why not...let's add a motorcycle too...
Well...now that we got all that...I'm gonna need a place to store all this wonderfull stuff...so let's get a house
and furniture for the bedroom
furniture for the living room
and how about a new TV
and to finish all this off we'll need a new home theater system
so folks and folkettes, this ends todays christms wishlist post...
12/22/2007
3 DAYS...and counting
This is such a beautiful song and with the cello playing in the background plus Miss O'Connor's voice adds a haunting depth.
The Christmas wishlist starts with the possible than starts going into the "UH UH!! NO WAY ARE YOU GOING TO GET ANY OF THAT, HONEY!!!!!"
So let's spend some time in the living room...watching this
while this sits on the mantle watching over me...
and when I'm done with that, I'll just sit and listen to these punkers
followed up by a dose of Janis
afterwards, I'll sit on my new pornado loader and go surfing
afterwards, I'd spend some time relaxing playing on a new x-box 360
sitting on my new video game console chair
where when I get thirsty, I'll just reach over and grab a cool refreshing drink from my new fridge that will be strategically placed within easy reach
of course you all know if you got's a new game system, chair and fridge, you're also gonna need a new video game TV
and surround sound. I mean everybody knows that
so with all that said this post is done for today
12/21/2007
4 DAYS...and counting
Such a cool song...IMHO
SO my Christmas wishlist begins today with a another theme. My Star Wars addiction. This time I kept it simple. I want these master replica lightsabers...so I can get my FULL STAR WARS ON!!!!
and than I want this so I can video tape my self getting my STAR WARS ON!!!
and than I can put my full STAR WARS ON!!! the i-net
Man oh man what a sad little man I am.
12/20/2007
5 DAYS...and counting
Yup another fun memory.
OK DAVE!!!
The christmas wish list begins again...
First we'll start with a want from days of yore...OK it was more like when I was in grade school, but I never got one because they were always sold out so I want one NOW!!! I'm talking about Optimus Prime
Now we hit the audio portion of my want list...so we'll start with one of the coolest bands of all time...THE POLICE
The band that got me introduced me to Glenn Danzig...THE MISFITS
AND OF COURSE THE GREATEST 80'S BAND OF ALL TIME...THE ONE AND ONLY....
MOTLEY CRUE
This is an afternoon of pure wasted fun...hee hee...that's almost heaven
I actually NEED this to complete the Tenchi Collection
This is absolutely perfect for someone who is a piss poor typist (me) who normally get's ideas when nowhere near a computer (me again) and for some reason isn't able to type up the things he's done in longhand (me...I guess that's a trifecta huh?)