THE WEEK I LOST MY LAUGH part 5

Current mood: calm


QUOTE OF THE DAY:
“Try as much as possible to be wholly alive, with all your might, and when you laugh, laugh like hell and when you get angry, get good and angry. Try to be alive. You will be dead soon enough.”
William Saroyan

THE WEEK I LOST MY LAUGH part 1
THE WEEK I LOST MY LAUGH part 2
THE WEEK I LOST MY LAUGH part 3
THE WEEK I LOST MY LAUGH part 4


I guess I am not a very good listener. As I head towards our destination, my aunt is trying to direct me. I've pretty much had it with everyone else's crappy directions. I know how to get there, and by all that is good and holy, I will do it without interference.

I'm only thinking 2 things at this time.
1. My little conscience (who shall be named SPEW from this day forward) is singing "Tra la la, la la la la, Tra la la, la la la la".
2. I will get us there.

I lived in the area for a few years, so I know how to get around pretty well. I hear a faint echo telling me to turn here (SPEW chimes in with one banana 2 banana 3 banana 4).

If I would have had a thought bubble it would have said 'Why am I going to turn here when it's 5 minutes up the road and then a left turn for about 3 minutes. The way I am being directed would take me 15 minutes out of the way.'

"Are you listening to my directions?" is asked of me.

Now the second line SPEW 'Four bananas make a bunch and so do many more.'

Nine minutes later we arrive.

My aunt questions, "Where are we?"

I point to this really big church right next to her.

"Oh."

I'll take this as a victory.

We walk into the basement of the church. There's a bunch of tables set up, some food prepared and the din of dialogue.

We look for a place to sit and eat. One table was pretty empty, so we sat there. We ended up sitting with my godfathers wife.

She's a very entertaining, inviting and warm individual. She occupies the awkward silences with silly and delightful tales. She honestly cares what you have to say and listens with a passion. She makes you feel very special, like you really do matter. In the near future I plan on visiting her, when there not so many raw and fresh emotions and wounds.

This is all I wanted to do since 8 A.M. this morning. Sit down and talk with someone who knew my godfather.

Sadly this, like all good things, must eventually come to an end. And it does.

A cousin of my mother, starts talking to me.

SPEW says 'She's seems like an uppity bitch.'

I respond to her questions in my very broken Spanish. I don't use it very often, and when I do, it's usually to order food. She proceeds to criticize me for apparent lack of "Mexican-ess." She tells me I should practice it more, because it will help me at my job and with my work. So I explain to her, with an assist from this girl who was sitting next to me, that I work with people who only speak English, and bad English at that.

Well OK some of them speak bible, but I just usually ignore those conversations.

But because of her attitude, a little bit of resentment was growing. Which, by the way SPEW will translate:

"Jose is not going to censor much of what he is going to say!"

So I immediately follow it up with "besides we live in America where the main language is English."

SNUB number 1. Only 2 batters left.

She then asks me what I do. I tell her. She looks wholly unimpressed.

SNUB number 2. This looks like it's going to be a shut out.

She notices my wedding band and asks if I am married. I say yes.

"To a Mexican girl?"

"Nope, she's American."

SNUB number 3.

Game over.

I'm outta there.

She then turns away, literally turns and sits sideways, and proceeds to engage in conversation with the woman who is sitting next to her.

SPEW was correct.

She was an uppity bitch.

We end up leaving a few minutes later.

I drop everyone off and I go home.

Wednesday is a pretty rough day at work for me. I keep to myself, and just focus on the work.

Thursday is actually even rougher on me. Until my boss calls us all over for a "talk."

This isn't a work related talk. There are times when the boss man just want to talk. He tells us all funny stories, jokes, talks about movies, hunting, personal beefs with the world and about his late wife. At one point when one of the guys is sharing something, he leans over and tells me very softly "It's OK to laugh, it helps the healing."

And I did.

And it did.

I had found my laugh.

Again.

THE END

Currently listening : Animals with Human Intelligence By Enuff Z’Nuff Release date: 03 October, 2000