INSPIRATIONS FROM A SMALL TOWN IN KANSAS

Hello again my tasty friends. Just a little self indulgent play by play of this mundane world I call mine. I'm feeling all spicy cuz I got my smokes, beer, and a little bit o'time to write this morning. First off I want to thank all 5000+ people who have taken time to read this lil waste o’space, which really made my day. It is a pretty good feeling knowing that someone out there reads my ramblings. If you do come by and have a blog let me know. I've said it before; I'm a blog advertising whore, especially if I like it. Than it gets linked. Sound cool?
Second thing, I want to thank all the people in 2005, for making it a truly wonderful year. The people who still like me, and of course the people who don't. One can't become a better person unless; they have both in their lives.
Third, I want to thank whatever divine entity is out there. You have given me many gifts and many chances to enrich myself, and those around me. I haven't taken any of that for granted, since you blessed me with a reason to do so.
And lastly, I am thankful for every breath I take, every morning I wake up, every smile I make (both yours and mine), every laugh, every tear, every hug, every kiss and my chance to just be thankful. So with all that said...
It's the 2nd day of a new year, which means I have 6 months left of my 33rd year of life outside the womb. It hasn't been an easy 6 months, but it has been a great 6 months. A short recap in no particular order...

-My cuz got arrested, and will be going away for a lil while
-Moved to Waukesha, WI from Rhinelander aka Rivendale
-My step dad got served divorce papers
-Moved back into my old apartment
-Got my driving privileges back
-Started yet another job I don't like
-My sister dumped an asshole of a boyfriend
-Saw the chronicles Of Narnia
-And Corpse Bride
-And loved them both
-Met Season's siblings.
-Met Season's best friends
-Saw a live band for the first time in over 2 years

Now that may not seem like a lot, or it may depend on who you are, but those are some of the highs and lows of my 33rd year of life. Now what does that have to do with anything? I just finished watching Smallville Season 2 and Chloe Sullivan played by Allison Mack, had this awesome confession to Clark Kent. Umm I figured I didn't need to link Clark's name, but the actor who plays him (Tom Welling) will get a link. Now in the episode Fever Chloe says this

"I want to let you in on a secret. I'm not who you think I am. In fact, my disguise is so thin; I'm surprised you haven't seen right through me. I'm the girl of your dreams masquerading as your best friend. Sometimes I want to rip off this facade like I did at the Spring Formal, but I can't because you'll get scared and you'll run away again. So I decided that it's better to live with a lie than expose my true feelings."

"My dad told me there are two types of girls. The ones you grow out of and the ones you grow into. I really hope I'm the latter. I may not be the one you love today, but I'll let you go for now, hoping one day you'll fly back to me because I think you're worth the wait."

And I broke down. That, I think was one of the most beautiful things someone can say, especially knowing that they can never have the one thing that can make them whole. Someone whose mere presence fills you with joy and pain, and like I said, I cried. Because actually living through this moment, was one of the hardest moments of my life. I don't really know where any of this is going, but I heard that, and I thought I should share it. It's not easy living any kind of lie, and when your heart's and hope's on the line, it just makes it that much more unbearable. So I think if you get the chance to say something to the one you love, take the chance. The answer might hurt more, but the weight of the burden of the lie is considerably less.
well g'nite my tasty friends, because it's time for me to go to bed with the girl I took that chance

with, and I have never regretted it once.

so I remain a lucky man named Jose