YUP JUST LIKE THAT

Current mood: crappy

If you have never seen Metallica's Some Kind of Monster, it's worth it just for this moment. Basically the set up is James Hetfield has come out of rehab, and has set a time constraint at how much time he is in the studio. And at this point he tells the band that he doesn't want them to listen to the recording sessions because if he's not there, that the rest of the band and the producer Bob Rock will make decisions without him. And this is Lar's response. It's also kind of the feeling I had yesterday. It was just a hard day for Season and I.

Lars - When I was running this morning, I was thinking about seeing you today, and the word "fuck" just comes up so much. Seriously, it's really true.

James - Is that in anger?

Lars - No, just, "Fuck!" "Fuck."

I just think you're so fucking self-absorbed. And what makes it worse is that you always talk about...

You always talk about me. You use the word "control" and "manipulation" a lot. I think you control on purpose, and I think you control inadvertently. I think you control by the rules you always set. I think you control by how you always judge people. I think you control by your absence. I think you control all of this even when you're not here.

I don't understand who you are.
I don't understand the program.
I don't understand all this stuff, okay?

I realize now that I barely knew you before.

And all these rules and all this shit, man, this is a fucking rock 'n' roll band. I don't want fucking rules. I understand that you need to leave at 0:00. I respect it. But don't tell me I can't sit and listen to something with Bob at 0:00 if I want to.

What the fuck is that?

You know, I don't wanna end up like Jason, okay? I don't want to be pushed away. I don't want it to happen twice.

Let's do it, and let's fucking do it full-on or let's not do it at all.

Fuck. See?

Fuck.
Fuck!!!
FUCK!!!!!!!!

So now a few hours later, after the day has ended, I'm still sitting here. And still thinking FUUUCCCCK!!!!!!!!