I AM KING...if only my kingdom wasn't cleaning and unpacking from the move back in August

QUOTE OF THE DAY:
“When making a fire people like to join you, when cleaning the ashes you are often alone”
African Proverb


It seems like I come up with these great decisions and ideas at the worst possible time. For example, I want to record the Heroes Marathon that starts in 5 hours. So I had to find some recording devices. I did.

But than I thought, "SHIT, you know it's about time I finally unpack all the boxes, I mean we have been here since August, and I really can't put it off much longer."

Which is a very good idea, I mean Season is sleeping, I have a couple of beers, and I have a pretty good plan as to how I plan on getting to all this.

Than...reality slaps me in the face like a pissed off nun back in my school days. This gonna be a lot of work...and Season is ASLEEP!!! I'm on my own and I have to finish what I started before she wakes up, because my friends, that is good politics. So that's when I decided that I should come on here...let you know that I'll be cheating on my next few posts, because I got to be a domestic goddess...err I mean GOD (heh heh) and get this crap done.

So here we go with some filler material...

YOU GREW UP IN RURAL WISCONSIN IF.............
You know how to polka , but never tried it sober....

You know what knee-high by the Fourth of July means.

You know it is traditional for the bride and groom to go bar hopping between the
reception and wedding dance.

You know the difference between "Green" and "Red" farm machinery, and would fight with your friends on the playground over which was better!

You buy Christmas presents at Fleet Farm.

You spent more on beer & liquor than you did on food at your wedding.

You hear someone use the word "oof-dah" and you don't break into uncontrollable laughter.

You or someone yo u know was a "Dairy Princess" at the county fair.

You know that "combine" is a noun.

You let your older siblings talk you into putting your tongue on a steel post in the middle of winter.

You think Lutheran and Catholic are THE major religions.

You know that "creek" rhymes with "pick".

Football schedules, hunting season and harvest are all taken into consideration before wedding dates are set.

A Friday night date is getting a six-pack and taking your girlfriend shining for deer.

Saturday you go to your local bowling alley.

There was at least one kid in your class who had to help milk cows in the morning... phew!

You have driven your car on the lake.

You can make sense of "upnort" and "batree".

Every wedding dance you have ever been to has the hokey pokey and the chicken dance.

Your definition of a small town is one that only has one bar.

The local gas station sells live bait.

At least twice a year some part of your home doubles as a meat processing plant.

You think that the start of deer season is a national holiday.

You actually understand these jokes.

Butt Measurements
A man and his wife were working in their garden one day and the man looks over at his wife and says: "Your butt is getting really big, I mean really big. I bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue."

With that he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measure the grill and then went over to where his wife was working and measured his wife's bottom.

"Yes, I was right; your butt is two inches wider than the barbecue!!

The woman chose to ignore her husbands comments

Later that night in bed, the husband is feeling a little frisky. He makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

She answers: "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie?

Texas State Trooper A young woman was pulled over in Austin, Texas for speeding. As the Texas State Trooper walked to her car window and flipped open his ticket book, she said, "I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the Texas State Police Ball."

The officer replied, "Texas State Troopers don't have balls."

There was a moment of silence when she smiled and he realized what he'd just said. He then closed his book, got back into his cruiser and left. She was laughing too hard to start her car.