I DON'T GET IT

Hey all sorry again. For the last 4 or so weeks I've had to work overtime, which means that the Confessional suffers, because taking the time to write takes a backseat to my life with Season. Well over the weekend Season and I had a chat, and I realized that I don't get it.

Get what??

Labels, I mean. I mean everything from Mexican-American and African-American to 10% and "Butch". Yes I've used labels before, but I'm trying (and being pretty successful by the way) of not using them. But the more I don't use them, I have come to realize that EVERYBODY else still does. Everyone is a category. You're either Black, White, Gay, Straight, Conservative or Liberal. You're either a Caucasian or an "other". When the hell did all this happen, and why is everyone adding more groups to this list? When did we stop realizing we are human beings? And when did we all become a sub-group to the human race? You see one thing I do understand, is there is one common thing that unites us all.

Hate.

Hate is the one bond that connects all members of the human race. Blacks hate whites and whites hate blacks and it goes on and on between all peoples. I mean there is even a "Hate Directory" on the net. WHY?? Anti men, anti semitic, anti white, anti black, anti Christian, anti gay, and anti every god damned thing. The worst part of this is that there are 133 pages, and 2 of them tell you what it is...so that leaves 131 pages. Of those 131 pages....130 of them are hate sites. 130 ARE FUCKING HATE PAGES!!! There is one single solitary page that has sites that are fighting hate. One single fucking page. I don't get it at all. This is the thing I'm talking about. i don't get it. When did we stop a human race? When did we stop being a people? For Christ sakes, when did we stop loving? This little revelation has done one thing for me that I didn't think I could do anymore. It has made me question this. Why don't we just end it all? Let the warmongers have their day in the sun, let loose the dogs of war aka nukes, and just let the human race die. Season just said cockroaches could do better. And I agree. We live to hate. The dawn of tomorrow seems a lot further away than I thought just an hour ago. I don't get it. I don't think I ever will. For once, I don't want to at all. I still look for hope. I still look for the silver lining. Hell, I still look forward to opening my eyes after a nights sleep. I keep hoping that there is a better tomorrow. There isn't. There will never be. I know this. But that doesn't keep me from hoping. It won't stop me from praying for it. I know tomorrow, I'll be waking up at 8 AM. I know when I open my eyes, I'll be wiping the sleep boogers away, but I also know that I'll also be wiping away dried tears. Not for me. But for all of us. Because I know that we can't stop hate. I just know, that I'll be the one who sheds the tears for all of the sins that we as a race commit. I may be the only one, but I am used to being alone. It's not a new feeling. But after seeing and reading and writing this...I really wish it was. So today...well I leave you, a broken hearted man. A single solitary man, who doesn't want to feel hate in his life, nor around him (especially now that I know what happiness is).

A man simply named Jose...a damn Mexican (a label) living in America (another label), and wondering what ever happened to the dream (a myth?)...or was it just a lie (a truth?)?