CLEAR DIRECTIONS???

On a bar of Dial soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be how??...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion.)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot afterheating."
(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
"Do not iron clothes onbody. "
(but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car oroperate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with headcolds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and... I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor useonly."
(as opposed to...what?)

On Sunsbury's peanuts:
"Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with yourhands or genitals."
(..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)