1. Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it.
The thief spends less than my wife did.
2. There was a beautiful young woman knocking on my hotel room door all night!
I finally had to let her out.
3. I just got back from a pleasure trip.
I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
4. I've been in love with the same woman for 49 years.
If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me!
5. What are three words a woman never wants to hear when she's making love?
"Honey, I'm home!"
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