Today at work, I had to pooh and I was just getting comfortable when someone knocked on the door. So as usual I replied "it's occupied". Well for some reason I had this revalation. I had to make a musical on the humerous ways that we men, justify our existance. And I thought of it as a rock opera. So yes in my head I started to write an opera for men. I mean picture this...
curtain rises, a sole man standing in the "loo", newspaper in hand getting ready to "follow standard imperial procedure".
A knock on the door..."are you almost done?"
the man looks to the audience and in a very melodic and somber tone starts to sing
"why can't I pooh in piece, why can't I sit and release
all I ask is for 10 minutes alone, why must I share my throne..."
cue the lights and all of a sudden there are 30 dancing girls all doing a burlesque/bump and grind/go go dancing routine.
as the man continues with "WHY CAN'T I POO IN PEICE"
next there are song and dance numbers with songs like
"Never use the word little" -it's not a little car, they're not my little friends and the super bowl is NOT a little game
"Beer IS a food group" -it fiils me with happy thoughts, it fills me like pork chops, if it wasn't for my meal of beer, you wouldn't be here
"Its not a problem (if it's only you that has a problem with it) -yeah that would be the chorus
some random song titles
"Sunday is sacred (cuz kick off is in 2 minutes)"
"Monday night is sacred too"
"It's beer night with the boys"
"The strip club is hallowed ground"
"please oh please say yes tonight"
and these are just working titles. Yes, when I get the lyrics worked out I will put them here.
and through all this time the 30 dancing girls are dancing around on stage...
yes that would so be an opera that all men would want to see, and all women would go..."MMM..HMMM!!!"
and no not in the good way.
I remain a man with way too much time on his hands named
Jose
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